You've Reached Sam

Julie listens to the song “Fields of Gold,” whenever she writes, a sad song that depicts fields of golden barley. Sam learned to play the song for her, though he never sang it, always giving excuses like a hoarse throat. She realizes now she’ll never hear Sam sing it. On her drives, Julie plays the only CD she has left of Sam’s, which has live recordings.

At school, Rachel petitions for an Asian Student Club; she tries to get signatures, but Liam and Taylor, Sam’s friends, tease her. After Julie calls Liam an asshole, he retorts, “At least I showed up to my friend’s funeral. Then again, I didn‘t have anything to do with his death” (78). Julie stands speechless at this verbal attack while Liam and Taylor leave. Rachel and Jay make sure she’s okay, and she signs up for the club.

Julie can’t focus in class. She tries texting Sam, but the message fails. Her teacher, Mr. Gill, mentions essays are due today, but she forgot to write it. Julie knows Mr. Gill strictly doesn’t accept late work, but she asks for his understanding. Julie states she’s been distracted, but Mr. Gill gave everyone an extension due to Sam. He says it would be unfair to give her more time, so Julie pleads with him, knowing a zero on a paper could affect her grade and status to graduate. Mr. Gill states he’s “preparing” her “for the real world” and that “life doesn’t give you extensions,” even “during the hardest times” (80). Though he believes he’s teaching Julie a valuable lesson, she’s furious and disheartened.

She runs into Mika after class, who looks tired and disoriented. Mika admits she hates being back in school and has been dealing with a lot. Mika tells her to come to a candlelight vigil for Sam that night. Julie scheduled a call with Sam, but after Mika hotly accuses her of missing this too, she agrees.

At home, Julie calls Sam and talks him through her stressful day. As always, he calms her down. When she mentions the vigil and Mika, Sam asks her to look out for Mika, who was like a sister to him. Though their friendship is rocky, Julie promises she’ll take care of Mika.

Julie asks Sam if he’s mad at her or blames her for his death. Sam wonders why she would even think that and confirms that nothing was her fault. Sam admits that he doesn’t want to blame anyone and it’s hard enough to accept his death. He tells her to forget anyone at school who tries to blame her again, since they’re wrong. They talk until late.

In her dreams, she relives the night Sam died. He was at a bonfire with Taylor, Liam, and other friends an hour away. He forgot to pick her up from the airport, which angered Julie. She texted him about walking home, but Sam tried to make things right and drove anyway, calling her repeatedly. Julie didn’t answer. After the truck struck him, Sam crawled from his totaled car. A mile later, Sam collapsed and died in the road, a testament to his strength and will to live. Julie imagines if only a few things would have been different, he could have lived.

In a “BEFORE,” chapter, Julie, Sam, and Mika saw a drive-in movie together. They used to hang out a lot. When Sam left to get snacks, Mika asked Julie if she was in love with Sam, and she didn’t know how to respond. Mika told her Sam was really into her, and the whole school could tell. She gave Julie advice to compliment his haircut and mention his favorite band. Mika’s tricks worked with Sam, ending with him and Julie making plans for a concert that weekend.

On another get together, the three of them went to the aquarium. Julie had just returned from a trip home to Seattle to visit her dad, which Mika asked about. Mika told her Sam requested her thoughts about Julie, and she complimented her. Sam took Mika’s opinion highly. Mika excused herself to go to work, which she claimed she forgot about, and Sam and Julie took in the aquarium alone.

Sam eventually found the courage to invite Julie out more often. They had wonderful dates, with Mika present often. The three drove to school, had lunch at the same table, shared a group text thread, and went on road trips. Once, they saw a battle of the bands concert. A college-aged guy groped Julie from behind in the bar, and Sam defended her. Mika showed up, shouted at the man, and used her self-defense training to twist his hand to the point of breaking it. She taught Julie the fight moves later.

Julie wishes she could relive so many moments with Sam, even the “quieter ones that we often don’t think about” (94), such as watching movies or doing homework or sleeping outside for no reason. In all the memories, they were oblivious to one of them being gone soon.

In the present, Julie wakes up to a text from Mika stating that she’s outside. Julie realizes with guilt and alarm that she forgot about the vigil. She lost track of time talking to Sam.

Julie hurries downstairs, but Mika won’t respond to her. She doesn’t look at Julie, who apologizes profusely. Mika made everyone wait for her at the vigil and called her multiple times. Julie can’t tell Mika the truth, so she tells her she fell asleep early on accident and meant to show up. Mika says, “If you really cared, you would have gone to everything else. But you didn’t. I don’t know why I keep expecting you to” (95). She says Julie was right anyway, how none of the events matter since they won’t change Sam’s death. Julie tells her that she doesn’t believe that anymore.

Mika shows her a rejection letter from the University of Washington, a top school that should have accepted her. Julie is in disbelief, while Mika is somber, stating good grades and clubs don’t guarantee anything. Julie thinks nothing is fair, telling her it will be okay. Mika states she’s a failure, but at least Sam wasn’t there to see her fail. Julie tries to cheer her up, yet Mika dashes off, stating she won’t be at school. Julie feels terrible about their conflict, especially since she promised Sam that she’d take care of Mika.

At school, Julie keeps thinking of how to fix her relationship with Mika. Yuki, Rachel, and Jay attended the vigil for Sam. They explain that tons of people came, including Sam’s family, and that Sam’s mom asked about her wellbeing. Julie feels guilty and ashamed again for not reaching out to Sam’s family, who were always kind. Julie’s friends empathetically tell her not to be so hard on herself. She states that her absence isn’t okay, and that Mika hates her. Yuki suggests they do something else for Sam. They’ll think of other ideas to honor him.

Oliver corners Julie at her locker, insisting that they get ice cream. Over soft serve, they discuss Sam, how Oliver’s other friends like Taylor and Liam suck, and how they miss him. Oliver suggests a movie, and they see Little Shop of Horrors, a musical they both love. After the show, they’re uplifted and sing the songs. Sam always knew Julie and Oliver would get along if they gave each other a chance, as they had a lot in common.