You

“She Instagrams methodically, clinically, as if she’s gathering evidence for defense, like her entire life is dedicated to proving that she has a life.”

Joe does not understand social media as others use it. One of Beck’s best friends, Lynn—to whom Instagram is a verb—uses social media in a methodical, clinical manner. She carefully constructs a public persona that differs from the real Lynn, which she keeps hidden behind her curated social media personality. Joe may not use social media, but he empathizes with this idea. He also keeps his real self hidden behind a carefully constructed mask.

“Did I mention that you’re lucky to have me?”

Joe’s internal monologues reveal his delusion. He is speaking to Beck, though she will never hear anything he says. His delusion is so intense that he has convinced himself that he is doing Beck a favor by his obsession. He believes that she should consider herself lucky to be chosen. This concept of luck will prove to be tragically misconstrued, as Joe’s obsession turns into harassment and violence.

“I try to keep him calm. I am kind.”

Joe is desperate to frame himself as the benevolent hero in his own story. Though his narration is addressed to Beck, Joe’s real audience is himself. Even as he is kidnapping and drugging someone, he needs to believe that he is the hero. Joe acts on his own urges, lying to himself by claiming that he is working for the good of society. Joe’s need to repeat phrases like “I am kind” (49) shows how much he needs to believe that he is the hero, even as he acts like a villain.

“Now, for the first time in his life, Benji is being held accountable.”

Joe’s treatment of Benji has an underlying social tension. To Joe, Benji represents the life of wealth and privilege that Joe never experienced. Joe takes out his resentment toward privileged rich people on Benji, with his unearned college degree and absurd soda company. Joe will never admit that he envies people like Benji or Peach, but his burning hatred for them is informed by his envy of their privilege and his fury that they have wasted the resources and opportunities he never had.

“There’s a case of Home in the fridge.”

Peach is an expert manipulator. She uses Benji’s brand of artisanal soda to drive a wedge between Joe and Beck, subtly reminding Beck of her ex-boyfriend by telling her to fetch a can of Benji’s brand of soda. Peach and Joe share an obsession with Beck. Joe uses violence and stalking to manifest his obsession, while Peach uses passive aggression and social cues.

“Joe, are you for real?”

In her attempt to compliment Joe, Beck accidentally arrives at a very important question. The Joe she knows is not real. Instead, this version of Joe is meticulously assembled to appeal to her interests. She only glimpses the caricature of Joe that he allows her to see, missing the real, violent version lurking behind the mask.

“It’s gonna be hard to break you, this hungry public part of you that wants to be noticed and observed.”

As much as Joe changes his behavior to appeal to Beck, he also wants to remodel her in his image of an ideal woman. This desire reveals the key flaw in Joe’s obsession: He loves only the version of Beck that he has created in his mind. His obsession involves turning the real Beck into the version he desires.

“Peach is an albatross, constantly dragging you down with her troubles, her invented dramas.”

Joe’s hatred of Peach is partly informed by how much of himself he unconsciously sees in her. Like Joe, Peach is obsessed with Beck. Like Joe, she manipulates Beck and causes her suffering. When Joe criticizes Peach for being a burden on Beck’s life, his criticisms can also refer to himself. Ultimately, he will have a much more damaging influence on Beck’s life. However, Joe believes that his obsession is edifying while Peach’s is pathological. The double standard is part of his delusion.

“And it’s not fair to think of all the genuinely sick people turned away.”

Joe criticizes Peach for taking up space in the hospital. The irony of his comment is that he is the attacker who put Peach in the hospital, and he blames her for the wounds that he inflicted. This is another extension of his delusion, revealing that he really cannot see himself as the villain.

“This is on you, Beck.”

Joe always finds someone else to blame for his worst actions; to blame himself would undermine his carefully constructed identity as the hero in his own story. Joe knows that he is obsessively stalking Beck, so he has told himself that the extreme nature of his behavior is Beck’s fault: She has lied to him or hidden the truth, so he has no choice but to stalk her.

“I keep many secrets and now I have yours.”

Knowing a secret gives Joe a feeling of power. When he learns about Beck’s father, he feels privileged because she has given him a piece of information that is not available to anyone else. Joe deals in private information all the time, stealing ideas and thoughts from Beck’s private communications. When she offers him something of her own accord, he feels validated. He enjoys this feeling of power more than anything else.

“You are on top of me stroking my hair and I can’t see your face but I can feel the disappointment in your hands, in your touch, which is full of pity.”

The first time Joe and Beck have sex creates an immediate contrast between Joe’s imagination and the real world. Ever since he met Beck, he has had sexual fantasies about them together. The juxtaposition between fantasy and reality is a harsh reminder for Joe about the failings of his imagination. He is forced to deal with an unwelcome, unwieldy version of reality. This contrast makes him feel pitiful and weak.

“You are gone, shopping, and I peel the new skin off my burn and watch the pus ooze. I am not healing.”

Joe is shocked and depressed by his faltering relationship with Beck. He takes out his frustration on himself, burning his hand with a candle flame. He does not allow the wound to heal. The wound becomes a metaphor for Joe’s self-loathing: his obsession is an open wound that he will not allow to heal, as he refuses to address the inner conflicts that compel his criminal behavior.

“I can’t wait until you break down and write to me.”

Joe phrases his obsession in normal terms, but his comments carry a dark implication. Joe is excited about the idea of Beck texting him, so he speaks in a conversational manner and uses an idiom. However, in an explicit sense, Joe cannot wait for Beck to text him. He is not a patient man, so—if Beck does not contact him—he will take the matter into his own hands. Joe refuses to wait until Beck breaks down and writes to him.

“Peach is a seriously pathological sicko and I’m nothing like Peach.”

Joe’s comments about Peach illustrate his lack of self-awareness. He describes her as a “seriously pathological sicko” (178), a diagnosis that Beck will later turn around and use against him. He resents Peach for her intimacy with Beck, but his jealousy contains a hint of professional respect: Because Joe manipulates and obsesses, he is perfectly placed to recognize Peach’s similar tactics. Joe might say that he is nothing like Peach, but his burning envy reveals that they share more in common than he would care to admit.

“He had to find some way to stop himself from acting on twisted, perverse thoughts of his own.”

Joe’s first therapy session suggests that he cannot see the medical value of the practice. Instead, he envies Dr. Nicky for having such intimate access to his patients. Joe regards therapy as an outlet for all the emotions that he otherwise releases through his obsessions, and he regards Dr. Nicky as a fellow obsessive—but one who has found a socially acceptable way to engage with the “twisted, perverse thoughts” (189) that Joe believes everyone feels. 

“I’d rather listen to tapes of Nicky talking about you than have intercourse with Karen Minty.”

Joe’s brief relationship with Karen Minty shows that his obsession with Beck is not driven by physical desires. With Karen, he has the opportunity to have as much sex as he wants. Karen can satisfy all of Joe’s physical needs, but she does not satisfy his emotional or intellectual desires. Joe would rather listen to someone else talking about Beck than have sex with a woman, suggesting that the pursuit, the obsession, and the feeling of power he has over Beck are more important than any physical pleasures.

“But I love you so much that I can’t willfully close down my portal to your communications.”

Joe has created a false version of love that justifies all his worst behavior. In his opinion, the fact that he refuses to stop reading Beck’s emails is a demonstration of his love and intimacy. As shown by Beck’s reaction later, she does not share this opinion.

“The walls in the building are terrible (surprise, surprise) and the plaster is cracking and the hole is bigger and I keep meaning to tell the super but I don’t want to tell the super because I want your things in my hole.”

The hole in Joe’s walls is a metaphor for his refusal to seek help. Joe recognizes that the hole is a problem, but he refuses to fix it. Instead, he fills this space with the items he has stolen from Beck’s apartment. The hole in his wall becomes a repository for his obsession and is a metaphor for Joe’s damaged psyche.

“You should own what you love, it’s that simple.”

Joe’s opinions about DVDs are the same as his opinions about love. Joe loves Beck, so he believes that he should own her in the same way a person owns a DVD of their favorite film. Joe believes that his efforts to own Beck are an expression of his love.

“When I text you and you don’t respond right away, I let it go. And now it’s your turn to let it go.”

Joe cannot see the difference between his behavior and the behavior of others. To him, Beck replying to a message several hours after he contacted her is the same as him breaking into her apartment and stealing her underwear. Joe’s equivocation illustrates his lack of empathy. He cannot understand why she may not be pleased with his behavior or view it as anything other than a mild inconvenience.

“I told him that I love to be wanted. I told him I love new things.”

Beck only likes the beginning of relationships because, to her, the initial stages of a relationship are a way to seek validation. She likes to feel as though she can inspire desire in others, as being wanted gives her a feeling of self-worth. Beck seeks out new relationships as she seeks out new possessions, trying to bring meaning to her life through consumerism and defining her identity by the things that surround her.

“You are. Were.”

Joe acknowledges Beck’s death by drifting into the past tense when talking about her. Throughout the novel, he has talked directly to Beck. The second-person mode of address proves that Joe has been speaking to an audience of one, an audience who will never understand him. Beck no longer exists in the present tense. She is gone, a part of Joe’s past, so he moves past her death by changing the mode of narration.