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50 pages 1 hour read

Julia Walton

Words on Bathroom Walls

Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2017

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Chapters 41-42Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapter 41 Summary

The baby is born on schedule and healthy. It’s a girl, and Adam loves her on sight. His hallucinations seem to love her too, occasionally making funny faces at her. The exception is Rebecca, who looks scared.

Ian comes to Adam’s house to apologize. He looks very uncomfortable, and Adam has “a certain degree of satisfaction in watching him squirm” (279). Still, Ian delivers a sincere apology and hands over cookies he’s made. Adam thanks him, and Ian leaves.

Chapter 42 Summary

One afternoon at Adam’s house during summer vacation, Maya tells Adam that Rebecca is pretty much him. Maya encourages Adam to comfort Rebecca whenever she seems to need it. When Adam tries to argue that Rebecca isn’t real, Maya says Rebecca is a part of Adam—so, real in that sense—and tells him to “Stop punishing yourself for something you can’t control” (286).

The Knights of Columbus run an essay contest at St. Agatha’s. Adam enters the contest, but his essay consists only of the bathroom wall words “Jesus loves you. Don’t be a homo” (288). The hallucinations Rupert and Basil laugh at this, and Adam feels pride from them.

Adam visits his therapist to thank him for the sessions, which he now realizes really did help him—even if they only communicated through writing. Adam’s first words to the therapist are the jokey “I’m still crazy, so you still have a job” (290). As Adam leaves, he promises to be back for their next session. 

Chapters 41-42 Analysis

Maya’s observation that Rebecca is Adam brings all of Rebecca’s actions full circle. Rebecca sometimes acts in accordance with Adam’s emotions because she echoes his conscious feelings, and she sometimes acts seemingly the opposite of how he feels because she is expressing emotions that Adam is too shy or conflicted to reveal. The fact that he can see Rebecca as a part of his psyche means he might eventually view his other hallucinations with similar tolerance. The moment when Rupert and Basil are proud of his rebellious Knights of Columbus essay backs this up.

The theme of Adam finding his voice—a voice that has partially been ceded to his hallucinations—crops up as Adam speaks aloud to his therapist for the first time. He finally understands the importance of psychological therapy on his ability to cope with his lifelong illness: His therapist may not be able to make his schizophrenia go away, but the man can make Adam’s psyche more resilient in the face of it. Talking to the therapist marks the culmination of Adam’s character growth.

Adam’s snarky essay submission using the bathroom wall words shows a few things: he comes to terms with whatever made him uncomfortable during the Knights’ assembly; and he makes peace with Rupert and Basil, whose pride at Adam’s iconoclasm is really Adam feeling pride for himself. Even without ToZaPrex, Adam starts to learn how to live with schizophrenia, knowing he is more than the disease.

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