What Alice Forgot

Alice asks Jane to call Nick, and she is confused and annoyed when Jane replies in an exaggerated manner: “[Y]es, of course, I’ll call Nick” (14). Paramedics take Alice out of the gym on a stretcher. Jane assures Alice that she will call “work” in the same slow, exaggerated manner.

Several people in the gym approach Alice as the paramedics are wheeling her out on the stretcher. They wish Alice well and refer to her upcoming “big day” and an event taking place “tomorrow night” (17, 18). As they leave the gym, Alice becomes nauseous and vomits on the paramedic’s shoes.

The narrative shifts to the perspective of Alice’s sister, Elisabeth, who is writing a journal entry addressed to her psychiatrist, Dr. Jeremy Hodges, as a mental health exercise. Elisabeth describes getting ready to speak at an event on how to conduct a successful direct-mail marketing campaign (participants paid $2500 to attend) when she received news of Alice’s injury. Elisabeth feels “trembly rage” (20) when Jane mentions that Alice is pregnant. At first, Elisabeth is irritated at the interruption to her day but later considers that the injury seems serious.

As Alice travels to the hospital in the ambulance, she tries to remember what she ate for breakfast. She recalls her usual weekday-morning routine, as well as specific weekday-morning breakfasts with Nick. However, she realizes that none of these were that morning. Furthermore, she realizes that she can’t remember dinner the night before. She tries to recall the most recent weekend—she remembers a jumble of weekend memories but senses that none of the memories are recent. Suddenly, she pictures a gray sky filled with pink balloons and feels immensely sad though she can’t remember any specific details of the memory. They arrive at the hospital, and Alice longs for Nick to arrive.

Elisabeth journals about her presentation on direct-mail campaigns to a group of clients. These presentations, Elisabeth reflects, help to pay her mortgage and the Visa bill, as well as paying for “the syringes and the shapeless hospital gowns and the last anesthetist” (27) that are apparently part of a medical procedure she undergoes. The thought of Alice’s head injuries continues to nag her. She remembers that in 1998, Alice was pregnant with her daughter, Madison.

Alice is disappointed that Nick is not waiting at the hospital when she arrives. Doctors and nurses ask her various questions: One doctor is surprised when Alice asserts that it is 1998 and tells her that it’s 2008. Alice, worried, asks for an ultrasound to check on the baby. She tells the doctor that it will be her first child. The doctor, surprised, points to a Cesarean scar on Alice’s abdomen, but Alice doesn’t recognize it. The doctor points out that Alice’s uterus is not enlarged and asks if Alice is sure that she’s 14 weeks pregnant. She briefly recalls a doctor with an American accent telling her “I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat,” but Alice cannot connect the words to a specific memory. Alice notes that her stomach seems flat—flatter than usual—and that her breasts, which had felt heavy and tingly when pregnant, actually were back to their normal, pre-pregnancy size.

She sees stretch marks on the sides of her torso once the doctor leaves; she does not remember having these either. She confirms with a passing nurse that it is 2008. Alice reflects that her baby must be 10 by now.

Elisabeth tries to call Jane back, but Jane doesn’t answer. Elisabeth calls her and Alice’s mother, but she doesn’t answer either. Elisabeth calls Alice’s children’s school, and Alice’s gym, trying to make arrangements for Alice’s children and trying to find the hospital where Alice is staying: She is left on hold. Eventually, she calls her husband, Ben, who says he will take care of the children.

Alice’s CT scan is found to be unremarkable, but the doctor tells her that they will keep her overnight for observation. The doctor also says that she tried to call Alice’s obstetrician, but that he retired three years ago.

Alice looks into the backpack that came with her. Dinosaur stickers on the backpack match one on Alice’s shirt. She notices that she’s not wearing her wedding ring, but there’s a pale indent in her finger where it used to sit. She is unsurprised that she’s not wearing her engagement ring—an heirloom from Nick’s family that she hates. She notes her beautifully manicured fingernails and the beauty of the chic underwear, jewelry, and clothing in the backpack. Finding her driver’s license in the backpack confirms that the clothes are hers although she recognizes nothing apart from a gold bracelet that Nick bought her after they found out that they were pregnant. She is surprised at the gold AMEX card in her wallet and concerned with a business card from a physiotherapist called Michael Boyl with a note reminiscing about “happier times” (47). She is shocked to realize that her hair is much shorter than she remembers.

She calls Nick’s office and is shocked to learn that Nick is the general manager and is in Portugal. Alice is transferred to a harsh and snappy woman, Nick’s personal assistant, who clearly hates Alice. Alice insists in a strident and self-assured voice that feels unfamiliar to her that there has been an accident and Nick must call her back. Alice’s phone rings: she anticipates Nick, but instead a child’s voice declares: “Mum!”

In a letter to someone named Phil, Alice’s honorary grandmother, Frannie writes that a new resident has joined the Social Committee at her retirement village. In a meeting, the resident, whom Frannie labels “Mr. Mustache” for his large, white mustache, suggests that he should run a cocktail bar at the upcoming Family Talent Night. He then suggests that a relative of his should perform a pole-dancing routine, producing laughs from all of the meeting attendants except Frannie. Barb interrupts Frannie’s musings with a phone call sharing news of Alice’s injury.

In the hospital, Alice listens, confused, as the child on the phone tells her about an Xbox game he wants. The child reports seeing “Uncle Ben” before Alice has a chance to respond, and the call is disconnected. Alice wonders who Uncle Ben is.

Alice finds a photo of three children among her possessions: two girls and a boy. The oldest, Madison Love, in Year 5, according to the information printed on the back of the photo, is a serious-looking girl with her mouth compressed in a straight line, looking away from the camera. The boy, Tom Love, Year 4, is grinning in a way that reminds Alice of Elisabeth; he has blonde hair and a turned-up nose. The youngest, a little girl with blonde hair in pigtails, smiles with round, dimpled cheeks. This is Olivia Love, who is in kindergarten. Alice feels as if she has never seen these children before in her life.

When a nurse enters, Alice is upset and says that she doesn’t remember her children or the last 10 years of her life. She begins to sob and is struck with the thought that the feeling of sobbing is familiar and that she’s sick of crying. Alice wonders at what she has been crying about.