Twisted

“Miller men were disciplined. Miller men followed rules. Miller men toughed it out; they ate dirt and went for the kill.”

In this quote, Tyler is recalling what his father told him about being a man when Tyler was just eight years old. Ever since then, Tyler has not felt like a “real” man. 

“Days like this I thought maybe I should just blow off school, move to Minnesota or something, get a job that let me sweat, and never, ever think again.”

This quote references the comfort Tyler has experienced through physical labor, which provides a distraction and a way to work off natural aggression. This is also the first time Minnesota appears in the novel; it will come up again later, when Tyler is trying to decide how to deal, or not deal, with negative parts of his life.

“There had actually been a time when Dad was cool. Like, when I was in third grade, when he was an accountant at a tiny hole-in-the-wall company. If you were going to make a documentary about our family, that would have been the year. Nobody had a shrink. Mom worked part-time at the school library and took photos for fun. Hannah only bit me if I made her really, really mad. And Dad and me won first place in both the father/son knot-tying competition and the three-legged race at the Cub Scout Wilderness Weekend.”

Tyler is nostalgic for what his relationship with his father used to be like, in contrast to what it has become, which is fraught, tense, and, at times, hostile.

“I was supposed to remember that this was a privilege: I was back in school because so many people—my parents, my probation officer, a couple teachers—had gone out on a limb for me. I was supposed to remember I was on thin ice. I was supposed to remember I was on a short leash.”

Tyler amuses himself by pondering the metaphors he has heard from the adults in his life, including keeping his nose clean, which he finds confusing. This quote references how advice can sometimes seem empty and patronizing. 

“Step closer, two steps, get in his face and remind him that I have him by six inches and probably forty pounds. Pick up the monitor and bring it down on his head, shove the keyboard down his mouth, cram his skinny butt into the trash can…”

This quote is an example of Tyler’s internal monologue contrasting with his actions. Here he is on the receiving end of his father’s diatribe, while at the same time fantasizing about assaulting his father as a means of coping with his own emotions.

“Mr. Salvatore handed back my compare/contrast essay about God and Satan. It had a zero on it, and ‘See Me’ written in red pen and underlined. It turned out he was serious about the summer-reading stuff. I had forty-eight hours to read Paradise Lost and write an essay that proved I read it.”

As Tyler struggles to keep up with his academic obligations, he tries to throw a paper together for AP English, and it backfires. Tyler is trying to live up to his father’s expectations, even though he is struggling on a daily basis.

“By deciding to spray-paint a few harmless slogans, I actually saved hundreds of lives and countless millions in damages. But when they arrested me, I realized that people might not understand if I explained that part. I never told anyone. I thought about it from time to time, but I never told.”

As Tyler sits waiting for his probation officer, he thinks about his original plan of bringing a bomb to school. He does not want anyone to get hurt and ultimately goes with the less damaging option of spray paint, and reasons he deserves credit for his good judgment.

“Sometimes I scared myself, because once you’ve thought long and hard enough about doing something colossally stupid, you feel like you’ve actually done it, and then you’re never quite sure what your limits are.”

In reference to the football field vandalism, Tyler believes for a moment he may have done it, effectively gas lighting himself, when everyone turns to look at him. He asks his sister for his alibi. This quote underscores the power of groupthink: Tyler thought for a moment he might be guilty even though he knew he did not do anything.

“The lawn hadn’t been mowed since the Night of the Roast Pork Migraine, and it showed. In fact, our entire yard looked trashy. It wasn’t just the overgrown grass or the dying marigolds or the scraggly boxwood bushes. It was the gutters where rotting leaves had spilled onto last year’s broken Christmas lights, the paint flaking off the shutters, and the mailbox that tilted to the right.”

Like the family inside, the Miller house is showing signs of wear and tear, disarray, and dysfunction.

“I caught a glimpse of Bethany’s face just then. There were tears in her eyes, real tears, because I had hurt her, I had been a jerk, I was scum. She wiped the tears away with the palm of her hand and disappeared down the hall.”

Tyler is hurt by Bethany’s actions at the party the night before. He intends to hurt her feelings, but when he realizes he has, he feels convicted. This is a good example of Tyler making choices about the kind of man he wants to be.

“I did it, they said. I couldn’t have done it. I wouldn’t have. But I was the one who destroyed the school. No. No, I didn’t. It was just some spray paint. And I did not take her picture. God, if I had I wouldn’t have shown it to anyone. I’d never put it on the Net. I mean, I’d thought about her looking like that, lying like that. But no. I did not take a picture. And I didn’t destroy the school, either. It was just spray paint.”

After Tyler is questioned about the photos of Bethany, he goes over his wrongdoings in his mind. Even though he knows he is innocent of taking the photos, he thinks about some of the choices he’s made and how they led him here. 

“It had been a long time, but we both knew the routine. I pulled out the sleeping bag from the top shelf of my closet. Hannah crawled into my bed. She had her old Raggedy Ann with her. That’s the kind of thing brothers don’t tell about sisters. I tucked the covers under her chin.”

This passage shows that Hannah and Tyler have a routine when their parents fight, which indicates that the fighting is often enough to set up a routine, and also underscores the bond the siblings share.

“This is an unusual circumstance—one that, frankly, our handbook doesn’t cover.”

Principal Hughes struggles to do the right thing after the Bethany photos come out. This statement highlights the challenge many adults have with how to address new technologies and discipline.

“Once down, he stood on the lawn and watched me descend. Sweat trickled off his scalp. When I was on the ground, he said, ‘Thank you, son.’”

This exchange happens after Tyler helps his father down off of the ladder. It is a rare moment of vulnerability between the two and contrasts the physicality between the two.

“I had been here before, stuck in between worlds. Last spring, I was stuck in court limbo while the judge and the D.A. and Hughes threw dice to decide my fate. I’d spent weeks in Bethany limbo, wondering if she liked me. Come to think of it, all of high school had been limbo—middle school, too. As soon as my zits popped—wham—drop Tyler Miller in limbo. Change the rules daily so he never knows how to act or walk or dress. Nail him with the longest, slowest puberty mankind has ever known. Let’s see how much damage one dumb jerk will put up with before he snaps. That sounds like a fun game, doesn’t it?”

This quote emphasizes how Tyler is still stuck between being a child and being an adult. Even though he is at his physical peak, he is held back by his age and lack of experience.

“Imagine you’re sitting in your living room watching ESPN, and you look up and a deer has wandered in. She’s shaking. Her legs are like twigs and her eyes so big you can see yourself in them. You’re afraid that if you move, or say anything, she’ll panic and run through the sliding glass door, but if you don’t move, or say anything, she’ll run away again.”

This quote paints a picture of how haunted and frail Bethany looks after the photos of her come out. We cannot tell from the interaction from her interaction with Tyler whether she believes Tyler to be guilty or innocent, but it’s clear the photos have taken a toll on her. 

“I couldn’t let myself think of the sound of Chip’s voice in my ear, because it made me think about borrowing Dad’s gun and going for a walk.”

This quote is an example of Tyler’s rage surging after Chip beats him up. He has the impulse to return violence with violence, but ultimately exercises logic. 

“He kept on like I hadn’t said a word, ‘—and they all said you could enroll in January. It’s in your best interest to enter as a second-semester junior; that will increase your college chances tremendously.’”

Bill introduces the idea of military school to Tyler after the police have been to their house a second time. This is another example of how Bill dictates what he thinks is best but fails to listen or show empathy to his son.

“A long shower loosened up the knots in my back and arms. I wrapped a towel around my waist and wiped the steam off the mirror so I could shave. I leaned closer to the glass. The guy in the mirror looked like somebody had wrapped his heart in barbed wire and pulled. He wasn’t just a loser. He was lost, no-compass lost, don’t-speak-the-language-lost.”

On his eighteenth birthday, the day after Chip and his friends have beaten him up, Tyler contemplates how his life seems to be getting away from him, all due to one bad decision (the Foul Deed).

“This is not the worst thing ever, I’d say to myself. You can’t do it unless it’s the worst thing ever.”

Tyler reveals he has thought about suicide as an escape since he was in middle school. He recounts how he would talk himself out of going through with a plan, saying that things were not yet the worst they could be. In contrast, he now feels that things could not be any worse.

“The only thing on was commercials. Buy our razors and be a man. Spray this junk down your shorts and women will crawl all over you. Get a second mortgage. Buy a second car. Buy our razors.”

Again, the messages about what it means to be a man invade Tyler’s space; here he realizes that others are trying to sell him something inauthentic.

“It was magic. One minute I was a kid, then—poof!—the next minute I was an adult. Now I could vote, and join the army, and buy lottery tickets, and get married (if I lost my mind), and make a will, and sue, and buy porn (legally), and get a tattoo, and buy guns, and go to real jail, not juvie hall, and work as many hours as I wanted.”

Tyler considers all of the privileges he’s gained by just being a few hours older. The novel sees Tyler in this liminal stage between child and adult throughout.

“I was a different size, a different shape. I kept trying to squeeze into a body, a skin suit, that was too small. It rubbed me the wrong way. I blistered. I callused. I scarred over and it kept hurting. I would never fit.” 

Again, Tyler grapples with what it means to be on the precipice of adulthood. He still needs guidance from his family, but also needs freedom. He is in a man’s body but feels like a child inside. He is struggling to fit into his new body and stage in life.