The Unteachables

“‘Parker,’ she urges, ‘this is stupid. You can get help with this. You just have to tell the teacher. But nobody can help you if they don’t know there’s a problem!’”

Kiana tells Parker to ask for help when he is struggling to read the day’s worksheet. This is the difference between kids whom teachers have treated well and those whom teachers have treated poorly: Having always been in regular classes and done well in school, Kiana believes in asking for help to fix problems. By contrast, Parker has been belittled for his reading struggles and doesn’t want to ask for help—he fears more ridicule.

“‘Well, he’s making a lot of noise in the hall,’ Miss Fountain announces. ‘That’s not being a bucket-filler.’ Mr. Kermit goggles. ‘A what?’ ‘A bucket-filler is someone loving and caring, who fills other people’s invisible buckets with good wishes and positive reinforcement that make them feel special.’ She regards Aldo disapprovingly. ‘Someone who creates a disturbance and makes it impossible for other children to learn is not a bucket-filler. That’s a bucket-dipper.’”

Ms. Fountain’s first appearance in the story follows Aldo’s tantrum in the hallway. Her bucket-filler/dipper explanation comes from Have You Filled a Bucket Today by Carol McCloud, a picture book based on the ideas of American psychologist Donald O. Clifton. Clifton’s theory says everyone has an invisible bucket that constantly fills or empties depending on how we are treated and how we treat others. Treating others nicely fills that person’s bucket, as well as our own, but treating others poorly dips into both buckets. Emma calls Aldo a “bucket-dipper,” meaning he treats others poorly because his own bucket is empty.

“Fate has a way of sticking it to you twice, resurfacing like a bad burrito. This morning was my second shot. Every day draws me twenty-four hours closer to early retirement, but the last lap isn’t going to be a cakewalk. First Thaddeus and the Unteachables, and now Fiona’s clone in the room next door—a living, breathing, bucket-filling reminder of the life I missed out on.

If that poor kid tries to teach middle schoolers the way she ran her kindergarten classes, her students will have her throat open by Columbus Day. I should sit her down and explain a few things, but that would mean I care. Caring is where the trouble starts—hard experience taught me that. I didn’t make it to the cusp of early retirement by caring. I made it by keeping my head down, regardless of whether they give me honor students or Unteachables or the zombie apocalypse. All I have to do is endure.”

Mr. Kermit’s thoughts show how jaded he is following the cheating scandal and how he’s never done anything to improve his situation. Rather than acknowledge his anger, he calls out Ms. Fountain’s teaching style. Mr. Kermit has no faith in students and believes kids are only out to make teachers’ lives difficult. This passage also shows that, in addition to the scandal, Mr. Kermit never got over his failed relationship with Ms. Fountain’s mother.

“Anyway, if the kids are a little strange, they’re not half as strange as their teacher. I use the word teacher very loosely. That’s another problem I have about calling them the Unteachables. How can the school know they’re unteachable if nobody ever tries to teach them?”

Kiana’s question gets to the root of the trouble at Greenwich Middle School. The administration has never tried to teach the kids in room 117—just tossed them aside to make teachers’ lives easier. The kids bear the nickname “Unteachables,” but there is no proof they can’t be taught. Over the course of the book they are taught and do learn, which means that until now they’ve simply been saddled with uncaring or uninvested teachers. 

“When breakfast is mustard on toast, that’s a sure sign that it’s time to go back to the grocery store. It means I’ve run out of butter and cream cheese and jam, and I’m digging into the condiment packs left over from my last McDonald’s run. Come to think of it, this is my last slice of bread too, and stale doesn’t begin to describe it. The apartment is a dump—clean enough, but definitely from a bygone era. I can afford much better, but I’m too disinterested to redecorate and too lazy to move. It’s the perfect place for a meal of mustard on toast—the breakfast of the disinterested and lazy.”

Mr. Kermit describes his apartment and his lifestyle. He rarely grocery shops, instead getting fast food. By his own admission, his apartment is not the best, and he’s done nothing to make it better. These descriptions show how his lack of confidence spills over into the rest of his life. Mr. Kermit’s surroundings are just as affected by the scandal as his personality.

“In answer, the gecko poops on my shirt. I sigh, unable to muster up any anger or even surprise. Vladimir is merely continuing a pattern of treatment that’s been going on for twenty-seven years. I brush the tiny pellets away.”

Aldo accidentally releases Vladimir the gecko in Chapter 7, introducing Ms. Fountain and her classroom to the plot. The animal makes its way into Mr. Kermit’s car, where it stays until Mr. Kermit finds it. Mr. Kermit’s observation about the gecko pooping on him suggests Vladimir treats Mr. Kermit the same way Mr. Kermit has treated himself since the scandal—poorly.

“So Mr. Kermit is famous. If Mom still remembers what he did way back when, that counts as fame. Okay, it was a bad thing, but so what? On reality TV shows, the biggest stars are always the jerks.”

After Kiana’s mom remembers Mr. Kermit and the cheating scandal, Kiana considers different kinds of fame. The scandal doesn’t bother Kiana, which means she forms her opinion of Mr. Kermit by what he does now, rather than what happened 27 years ago. Comparing the scandal to reality TV shows that fame often goes to people who don’t deserve it.

“‘Let me tell you about spirit.’ The teacher comes alive, making eye contact with each of us as he speaks. ‘No one can command you to have spirit—not principals, governors, presidents, or even kings. There’s no spirit switch in your brain that can be flipped on or off. Spirit isn’t a week you can put on your calendar. It doesn’t come from posters, or streamers, or rallies, or funny hat days. And it definitely doesn’t come from making an ungodly racket with a cheap plastic instrument of torture that was invented purely for disturbing the peace!’”

After his destruction of multiple vuvuzelas, Mr. Kermit gives a lecture for the first time, engaging with his students and giving us a glimpse at the great teacher he is beneath his apathy. This speech has a strong impact; it shows that the Unteachables are teachable, and that Mr. Kermit’s words have value.

“‘What does school spirit have to do with vuvuzelas anyway?’ I complain. ‘Because they’re loud? So are car accidents.’ I actually think about that a lot.”

Just before the kids steal the vuvuzelas, Parker compares the noisemakers (something the school views as positive) to a car accident (something that is almost never a good thing). Vuvuzelas are often used at rallies, sporting events, and other loud gatherings. As a result, noise has come to be associated with showing support, but as Parker points out, there is actually no relationship between the two.

“I grimace. Superintendent is a powerful job, but a lonely one as well. When big decisions have to be made, there’s no higher authority to appeal to. You are the law. Christina’s right that in 1992, Zachary Kermit knew nothing about what the Terranova kid was up to. But when you’re the big boss, you don’t have the luxury of considering things like that. All that matters is optics. How does it look? In 1992, it looked very bad. And if the mere mention of Zachary Kermit’s name reopens that old wound in a newspaper article written by a reporter who probably wasn’t even born in 1992, then the optics haven’t gotten any better. An elephant never forgets; the people of Greenwich have memories that are longer still.”

These lines offer a glimpse into Dr. Thaddeus’s thought process. Though he holds a grudge against Mr. Kermit and takes unreasonable actions to see Mr. Kermit fired, Dr. Thaddeus is only doing what he thinks is best. He cares about how the school system looks, and he wants to present Greenwich in the best possible light. He goes about it the wrong way and his decisions hurt others, another example of how making selfish decisions causes harm.

“Aldo and Barnstorm wheel around in their seats, turning belligerent expressions on each other. But Mr. Terranova quickly steps between them. ‘Guys, I was in middle school once too. If you two want to throw hands, there’s nothing I can do to stop it. But not here and not now.’”

Up until this point, the adults in The Unteachables have been teachers or parents who treat the kids like middle schoolers. By contrast, Jake Terranova remembers and acknowledges what it was like to be in eighth grade, and he doesn’t try to stop Aldo and Barnstorm from acting their age. Jake is the rare adult who truly remembers the struggles of the preteen years.

“After lunch, we tour the service department. That’s where the field trip starts to get really good. Motor vehicles are such a huge part of life, especially in a place like LA, where you have to drive pretty much everywhere. People take it for granted that their cars will work, like they’re powered by some kind of magic. How often do we ever take a peek under the hood at the machinery that makes it happen?”

During the field trip to Terranova Motors, Kiana observes that people take things like cars for granted—they put gas in their car and it runs. When the car breaks down or has a problem, many don’t know how to fix it, which is why mechanics have jobs. Kiana’s thoughts foreshadow the Unteachables’ science fair project.

“As much as I love Grams, I’m not so sure I believe the story. The last time she explained how she got rid of the girl who moved in on Grandpa, she said she backed over her Vespa with a jeep. Grams tells the same stories because she doesn’t remember telling them last time and the time before that. Some people might find that annoying; to me it just means that we’ve always got something new and interesting to talk about while I’m driving her around.”

Parker offers a different take on dementia and Grams’s lack of short-term memory. While he’s sad Grams doesn’t remember his name, he’s also grateful that he can still talk to her. This gratitude comes in the form of appreciating the variations in Grams’s storytelling. Parker chooses to see her forgetfulness as having a positive side—retold stories spark conversations.

“Mr. Kermit scowls at me with what Mateo calls the Squidward-Grinch face. That kid’s pretty weird, but he’s usually spot-on. He’s nicknamed me Han Solo because both of us are ‘lovable scoundrels.’ Maybe I walked away from the cheating scandal with a slap on the wrist, but lately it’s come back to haunt me in all sorts of ways.”

Jake Terranova’s only point-of-view chapter shows how Jake has grown and changed. He knew he did something wrong years ago, but the full impact didn’t hit him until now (when he is an adult). This shows how time and growth let us view events through a different lens: 27 years ago, Jake didn’t give the scandal a second thought once he was through it. Now, he regrets it and wants to make up for what he did.

“NO BIKINI AURA. That has nothing to do with bathing suits. It’s an anagram of my name. Mr. Kermit has me working with Parker on anagrams to improve his reading. Parker’s getting pretty good, but for me, it’s just fun. It’s amazing the stuff you can come up with. For example, ZACHARY KERMIT can be scrambled into CRAZY TRAM HIKE, or ALDO BRAFF into FOLD A BARF.”

Kiana’s thoughts show how anagrams offer a different viewpoint on more than words. While the anagrams help Parker read better, Kiana sees them as a fun activity that opens her mind. She sees reading in a way she never has before and gets a glimpse into what it’s like for Parker every day.

“‘It’s not ruined,’ I say quickly. ‘It’s just—’ I fish the Power Ranger out, watching the level of tea go down. I drop it back in again, and the level rises. My eyes widen in understanding. ‘Archimedes’ first law of buoyancy—a floating object displaces its own weight in liquid! I’ve been trying to understand it all day!’ I spring up and wrap my arms around Stepmonster. ‘Thanks for the tea!’”

This crucial moment in Kiana’s character arc shows her ability to make the most of a situation. By bringing tea, Stepmonster becomes a real person to Kiana, rather than just someone to tolerate. The action figure falling in the tea seems like a setback at first, but Kiana quickly makes it into a learning opportunity. By not immediately reacting with anger because her drink was ruined, Kiana remains open, which helps her grasp a new science concept.

“‘What about the guy you head-butted down the stairs?’ I demand. ‘You can’t say that never happened! Like twenty people wound up in the nurse’s office!’

‘He just dropped his phone,’ she explains. ‘He bent to pick it up. I bent to help him. We bumped heads.’ Elaine assumes a faraway expression as she relives the moment. ‘The kids on the steps didn’t stand a chance. He took them all out on his way down. It looked like a giant wave of people breaking over the staircase.’ We end up standing there outside room 117, staring at each other in amazement. ‘It’s just rumors, you guys,’ Kiana tells us. ‘You know how stories spread in a school.’”

After Elaine’s presence scares off the football-player bullies, the kids recount all the stories they’ve heard about Elaine hurting people, only to find out the rumors have little to do with the truth. Elaine is a good student who has never hurt anyone, but a few twisted stories based on her appearance have cemented her a reputation. The far-away look on her face as she recounts the event here shows that the rumors hurt her. She knows the truth, but no one believes her version because it isn’t as sensational.

“It was the state science assessment that did it for me. There was a moment at the beginning—Parker in his usual pose, hunched low over his exam booklet, staring as if trying to see inside the individual molecules of paper.

‘Hose hypnotists...,’ he was mumbling, struggling to make sense of the letters on the page. ‘Hose hypnotists...’ Then all those hours of reading support kicked in. ‘Photosynthesis!’ he exclaimed triumphantly.”

This passage of Mr. Kermit’s thoughts shows his completed transformation to the teacher he was before the scandal. It also offers support to the idea that a little specialized help can have an effect on learning. Rather than give up on the first question of the test, Parker keeps going, his work with anagrams allowing him to read the exam. It may take effort, but change is possible.

“‘I knew it!’ Aldo rages. ‘We flunked the test!’ ‘You didn’t,’ Jake insists. ‘None of you did. It’s a numbers game—if you fiddle with them enough, you can get them to say almost anything.’”

As Jake explains Mr. Kermit’s situation with the test scores, he observes that while numbers don’t lie, statistics can be manipulated to reflect a desired outcome. In this case, Dr. Thaddeus has cherry-picked the test scores he needs to get Mr. Kermit fired. Having power allows Dr. Thaddeus to get away with something that is neither right nor fair. If questioned, his method may not hold up, which illustrates the importance of examining data.

“The minutes blur into hours, which blur into days, which blur into weeks.

The first thing the condemned man loses is his sense of time. All I know is that it’s flying by too fast. For so long, I couldn’t wait to be finished with my teaching career. Now—barreling full speed and out of control toward the finish line—all I want to do is make it last.”

After Mr. Kermit learns he’s been fired, he considers the illusion of time. It doesn’t move any faster or slower, but a given situation can make it feel as if it is. These lines also show how much Mr. Kermit has changed. He doesn’t want to stop teaching, no longer concerned about early retirement.

“I read and reread Kiana’s essays, lingering over her well-reasoned arguments; I relish the discussions with Elaine and Aldo as they work their way through Where the Red Fern Grows; I listen for the faint sound of Parker whistling through his teeth, a surefire sign that he’s reading without having to struggle over every word. I cherish these things because I know I won’t have them much longer.”

After the science exam, Mr. Kermit notices things he never did before. Things like Kiana’s essays, which were once a burden, become treasured reading. He helps his students because he wants them to have the best chance once he’s gone. In contrast to the apathetic man at the story’s beginning, Mr. Kermit is now a teacher who cares about his students.

“Just because you’ve got anger management problems doesn’t mean there isn’t plenty to be ticked off about. Second. The Internal Combustion Engine finished second in the district science fair. It would have been better to finish 150th than to come so close to winning only to take an L.”

After the Unteachables come in second in the science fair, Aldo has a few realizations. First, sometimes it’s okay to be angry, as long as he doesn’t let his anger take control of him like it used to. It’s a feeling like any other, and it has its place. Second, the knowledge that they were so close to helping Mr. Kermit stings, showing that Aldo feels empathy.

“On the other hand, 1992 was a long time ago. In 1992, the Coco Nerd was just a car. Today it’s a weapon of mass destruction. The transformation of Jake Terranova has been no less dramatic. He’s a businessman, an entrepreneur. A grown-up. A solid citizen who’s done so much for the Unteachables.”

As Mr. Kermit has this thought, right before he learns about his reinstatement, we see his character arc complete. Not only does he now care about his students, but he’s also forgiven Jake for what happened 27 years ago. In addition, he releases the hurt from the cheating scandal and chooses not to dwell on what can’t be changed.