The Tender Bar

In Chapter 8, Moehringer reflects on his deep bond with his only male cousin, McGraw. McGraw, who also had an abusive and absent father, was Moehringer’s “best friend and ally” in the household (49), and the author often referred to him as his brother. They shared a bed in the corner of their grandfather’s room. Moehringer recounts his “neurotic” fear that he and McGraw, both surrounded by women and sisters or female cousins, would turn out to be “sissies” (50). The author felt that he and his cousin were missing out on learning traditionally masculine skills, such as fishing, hunting, boxing, and car mechanics. Moehringer tried his best to teach himself and McGraw these skills, with humorous results. He notes that while he and his cousin lived in the same environment, they had opposite personalities, which he attributes to their different relationships with their mothers.

In Chapter 9, Moehringer explains how his mother moved them to a new apartment that she cherished, furnishing it with used chairs from the hospital where she worked. He recounts how, despite her best efforts to seem optimistic, his mother occasionally broke down in front of him due to their stressful situation, and both of them suffered from feelings of loneliness due to the absence of a husband and father. When he complained to his grandmother about loneliness, she would tell him to be a “strong man” and not complain (56).

At age nine, Moehringer discovered his family’s book collection in the basement and became a bookworm, particularly devouring a series called Minute Biographies. He remembers going to Dickens for the first time to buy cigarettes for his Uncle Charlie. Though he found the atmosphere overwhelming and unfamiliar, he was warmly welcomed by the people in the bar and wanted to return.

The author explains that he was already a serious child and only became more so with age. Moehringer remembers a father-son school breakfast that he attended with his grandfather in lieu of his dad. He reflects on how his grandfather performed the role of an involved parent and charmed the other teachers and parents in attendance. However, when they returned home, his grandfather quickly reverted to his reclusive self.

Moehringer shares that he was stunned by news that his Aunt Ruth was moving with her children to Arizona as she attempted to reconcile with her husband. Losing his cousin McGraw to this move prompted Moehringer to distract himself with his hobbies: reading, playing baseball, and monitoring the comings and goings at Dickens while riding his bike. The chapter ends with Moehringer explaining how his mother asked him if he would like to move to Arizona to be closer to his cousins, to which he agreed.