The Sea in Winter

The doctors say that Maisie is lucky; her tendon was not detached again, but it is strained. She has also damaged some tendons in her knee. Jack explains that her first injury happened in ballet. The nurse expresses her condolences, and Maisie feels so bad about the conversation that she wants to “disappear.” She feels “checked out” from the adult discussion about examinations and recovery steps. As she undergoes a medical examination, she still feels “discomfort” as she thinks about the reality of her life.

As Maisie is waiting to be discharged, her family comes into the room, but she cannot speak. She thinks that they will go to the Elwha River the next day, but Jack announces that they are returning to Seattle. He stresses that her recovery is more important. Maisie feels bad about causing them to postpone their trip.

Maisie observes her mother on her phone and grows angry with her. She asks Angie why she is on her “stupid phone” while her daughter is in the hospital. Maisie feels exasperated because although Angie is always on her phone, Maisie herself is reprimanded when she spends time on her own. She wonders why she is always the one to be “punished” and thinks that her life is unfair. Jack tells her to respect her mother, but Maisie retorts that she also needs respect. Her mother tries to talk to her.

Angie understands Maisie’s feelings and explains that she relies on her phone. She uses it for everything now, but she also notes that phones used to “just be phones” (180). She bought her first cell phone because she wanted to send Maisie’s dad her pictures during his deployment in the military. She recalls their last conversation on that phone and his laughter. She says that Maisie’s laughter reminds her of him, but Maisie rarely laughs these days. Angie also remembers the day she learned about his death in action and feeling a “horrific wave of grief” and deep rage toward the officers (183).

It was at that point that Angie started participating in protests. The first protest she attended was against the wars in the Middle East. She says that the demonstration did not stop the killing of innocent people; there was much trauma and tragedy for no reason. She was tormented by regrets and wanted her life to be different, but she realized that she could not control things. She tells Maisie that she relied on the “teachings of [her] ancestors” and the Makah “histories of resilience and survival” in order to recover (187). She also spent time with her family and focused on raising Maisie. She reveals that a therapist helped her as well. Now, she explains that she was looking at her phone just now because she was about to email her therapist to ask if they could see Maisie as well.

Angie emphasizes that her daughter needs professional help in order to manage her feelings and her “loss.” Maisie asks her and Jack if they think her time in ballet is over. Her mother emphasizes that her body needs recovery. She encourages Maisie to focus on other interests and find a “new passion,” and when Maisie wonders if this means she has failed, Jack stresses that she is “moving forward.” Maisie says that she only has friends at ballet school, but Angie emphasizes that distance does not have to impact friendship because she can communicate with her friends through the phone or social media. She also says that Maisie will find new friends who share her interests. Maisie cannot imagine her life without ballet and says that she often does not know how to connect with her friends. Her mother stresses that she has also experienced loss and change, and she emphasizes the importance of moving forward with life. Angie explains that she also isolated herself after moving away from Neah Bay when she was young. Similarly, after she lost her husband, she felt that her world had fallen apart, but she “learned to stand tall” (192). She asks if Maisie is willing to see a therapist, and although Maisie doubts that a therapist can help her, she accepts.

Maisie feels exhausted as she waits to be discharged. She sees Eva’s favorite show playing on TV, and when her phone buzzes, and she thinks it might be Eva, wanting to talk about it. Maisie feels bad when she realizes that Eva does not know where she is. Her parents sign the hospital’s paperwork, and Jack tells Connor to go with his mother and bring the car together for Maisie. Connor wants to stay with his sister. Maisie encourages him to go, saying that she will be “okay.” The siblings embrace, and Connor leaves.

In the waiting room with Jack, Maisie notices that he looks tired and is not in his usual mood. She ponders how long she has known him and realizes that she has not realized that he is getting older, too. Jack looks at her, and she cries. He tries to distract her by talking about the TV show. Maisie finally finds the courage to apologize to him for her previous outbursts. She thanks him for everything he has done for her. Jack also thanks her and emphasizes that she is his daughter and that he loves her. Maisie says that she loves him, too.

Later, Jack leads Maisie outside and helps her get into the car. Maisie checks her phone and sees several texts from Hattie, who apologizes for not responding earlier and says that she is in Florida with her mother. She is excited about dance school but wishes that Maisie could go with her. She also asks about Maisie’s knee. In her last text, Hattie pleads with Maisie not to “shut [her] out” (206). Maisie knows that she must explain and apologize to Hattie. She struggles to find the right words and then starts typing a text.

Maisie is in the library, placing books on bookshelves. Her knee is feeling fine, although her movements are cautious. She has been going to therapy for four months. At first, she did not want to be “anywhere” and had “bruises all over [her] heart” (208). However, the therapist helped her understand that her feelings were “a messy black cloud” (209). Maisie realized that therapy is hard work, but the therapist used exercises and advice to “guide” her through the “chaos” of her thoughts and emotions. The therapist suggested that Maisie should find an extracurricular activity, so Maisie decided to volunteer at the library. Because her knee is still recovering, Maisie must avoid athletics.

Maisie has made two new friends, Brenna and Ethan, who also volunteer. Now, they wait for Maisie at the front desk. They are excited about summer and tell Maisie about everything they can do together. Maisie knows that this summer will be different without her ballet classes. She still thinks of Eva and Hattie, who are going to ballet school, and she wishes that she could be there, too. However, she knows that she must focus on her recovery. She tells her new friends that everything changes, and Ethan suggests that changes can be good. Brenna and Ethan go biking and say that they look forward to Maisie joining them when her knee recovers.

As the library is about to close, Maisie wanders around the bookshelves and looks at the books. She notices that some are quite old and “torn” but are still able to “share their stories” (214). Maisie’s mother arrives to pick her up and says that Aunt Alice is going to visit them for a week. Maisie has been in touch with her father’s family in the last few months via phone.

Outside the library, Maisie sees a bulletin board with several advertisements for children’s theater, various jobs, a ballet production, and a call for young activists to join a new group and get involved in local politics. This message reads, “Create the change you wish to see” (217). Maisie’s mother knows the group and says that they are doing important work. She suggests that Maisie could join, and Maisie likes the idea.

On the last day of school before summer, Maisie hurries into the classroom. The teacher greets the students and prompts them to write their farewells in their journals. The writing prompt is the word “onward.” Maisie writes that she does not know what her future holds, but she is not afraid. She continues writing about her therapy sessions, acknowledging that therapy has helped her reconnect with herself and “resist” the thought that she does not matter. Maisie writes a second paragraph, imagining all the positive things that could happen in her future. She feels motivated and excited, thinking that someday she may become a writer.

The class ends, and Maisie asks the teacher to sign her yearbook. The teacher expresses her support for Maisie. In the yearbook, Maisie reads that her teacher is excited to have her in the creative writing class next year. Maisie smiles and feels hopeful.

Maisie meets her family in the school parking lot. Connor shows her a minor injury on his elbow, and Maisie worries about him. Connor says that he fell but got up again. Maisie announces that her teacher might accept her into the creative writing class next year, and the whole family rejoices. Maisie receives texts from her aunt, Eva, and Hattie. Eva talks about her new pointe shoes, and Hattie is flying to New York. Maisie quickly responds to the texts and then listens to Connor as he talks about his day. He says that he fell several times during a game but got up each time. He says that he learned this from Maisie.

The family is going to the Olympic Peninsula again. As they board the ferry, Maisie recalls her emotions the last time they traveled together. She recalls the pain in her knee and the “heaviness in [her] heart” (229). Now, however, she feels excited and content with her family by her side, and she looks forward to seeing the Elwha River. Jack understands that Maisie is “emotional”; he and her mother give Maisie a new notebook as a present. The artwork on the cover depicts a girl with brown skin wearing ballet clothes and dancing in a studio. Maisie is happy and keeps her notebook close. She thinks of her family’s stories of “loss and tragedy” but also of their experiences with “resistance and triumph and joy” (232). Maisie chooses to look “onward” and thinks that the “restored” Elwha River will be beautiful.