The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias

“The less we worry about being good people, the better people we will be.”

Chugh argues that worrying about being good is unproductive, sets people up to fail, and leads to disappointment. She takes a nuanced approach to goodness, removing the focus from perception and placing it on an active, ongoing reality.

“It is easy to write off anger as sour grapes […] it was not about the grape; it was about the inequity.”

As Chugh observes, anger is a natural reaction to inequality. Instead of retreating from the anger of marginalized people with offense or shame, Chugh urges builders to engage their growth mindset and approach that anger as a learning opportunity.

“No one wants to be someone else’s learning curve.”

Addressing believers who want to become builders, Chugh emphasizes the importance of taking the initiative rather than overburdening marginalized people by pressing them for information and advice about how to end inequality.

“Much as I want to deny it, I have seen my own implicit biases affect people I love.”

Chugh uses personal anecdotes to engage readers and explain her ideas and arguments. By admitting to an unconscious bias, Chugh normalizes her concept, fostering the psychological safety of readers and priming them to engage their growth mindset.

“Equality says we treat everyone the same, regardless of headwinds or tailwinds. Equity says we give people what they need to have the same access and opportunities as others, taking into account the headwinds they face, which may mean differential treatment for some groups.”

Chugh creates nuance in her argument, outlining the difference between equality and equity. Ending inequity requires admitting that some people face headwinds, while others benefit from tailwinds. Enacting policies and engaging in practices that level the playing field, such as affirmative action, exemplifies equity.

“The differences of the past still form a gap in the present. The differences of the present widen the gap.”

Historically, tailwinds and headwinds have allowed some people to prosper and prevented others from doing so, creating generational and systemic inequity. Current policies and practices, including denying the existence of racial bias, perpetuate the problem, widening the gap between those with privilege and those without.

“Loving America is the most American of things to do. Why does loving America preclude an honest understanding of our history and its influence in our lives?”

Chugh argues that claiming an American identity does not prevent a person from developing a thoughtful, intentional awareness of America’s history or its present. She seeks to dispel the myth of American meritocracy, in part by addressing the historical headwinds that have impacted Black Americans. Providing a truthful account of US history, including slavery and systemic discrimination, is a prerequisite to redressing racial imbalances.

“Noticing has been a big part of the journey.”

Chugh consistently emphasizes paying attention to and learning to identify unconscious bias. She gives the example of the Implicit Association Test, which measures unconscious bias by testing how the brain rapidly categorizes words and images. Tools like the IAT can be helpful in identifying and rooting out one’s specific implicit biases.

“Seeing what we want to see affects our understanding of the world we live in.”

Confirmation bias refers to the tendency to pay closer attention to the things that confirm our point of view, and to discount or not notice things that contradict it. Chugh cites confirmation bias as a key factor perpetuating inequality.

“We need to be willing to own our impact regardless of our intent.”

Chugh maintains that good intentions are not enough when it comes to ending inequity. Builders must cultivate awareness, actively work to redress injustices, and own up to and learn from their mistakes.

“Ordinary privilege grants us influence.”

Chugh urges people with ordinary privilege to use their advantages to lift those who face headwinds. This lifting can take many forms. Chugh’s examples include hiring women in fields dominated by men, speaking up when someone makes a racist remark, and preordering books written by underrepresented authors.

“The work of diversity and inclusion has to include people with headwinds and people with tailwinds.”

While racial minorities have historically taken the lead on anti-racism work, Chugh argues that social justice is everyone’s responsibility. Many people are reluctant to get involved in issues that do not directly impact them. Chugh urges readers to break out of this mentality.

“The natural reflex is to reduce pain and self-threat.”

When people are made aware of racial bias and their role in maintaining racist systems, their instinctual reflex is to avoid it by doubling down on beliefs that lessen painful emotions or threats to their preconceived identity. Chugh asks white readers to accept discomfort and move forward to the next phase of racial identity development, which redefines what it means to be white and brings people closer to becoming good-ish.

“Good mistakes unlock learning.”

Chugh normalizes mistakes using other people’s stories and personal anecdotes to give readers permission to make their own, which she sees as key learning opportunities.

“Saviors like problems because we get to solve them.”

Chugh emphasizes the difference between being a voice who supports and empowers those less-advantaged, and being the voice, which centers the person offering support and has an otherizing effect. Acting as a savior is not just dehumanizing, but also misplaces the focus onto the savior instead of on those who need help.

“When we feel sorry for someone, we inadvertently put ourselves in the high-power position.”

Chugh draws a distinction between sympathy and empathy. The former, described in this quote, has an otherizing effect and creates a power imbalance, while the latter focuses on the feelings of others.

“Inclusion is what happens before and after the official decisions in which people are formally brought into a group.”

Chugh uses the metaphors of gateways and pathways to explain the differences between diversity and inclusion. This quote describes inclusion. Bringing marginalized people into a group not only helps combat the headwinds they face, but also fosters a sense of belonging and support.

“Before babies can sit or say a word, they are crafting narratives.”

This quote emphasizes the importance of storytelling. Chugh argues that enacting change requires builders to steer conversations, drawing attention to opportunities for listeners to shift or alter their own narratives and perspectives on the world.

“Art steers conversations.”

Chugh highlights the example of Lin-Manuel Miranda and Thomas Kail, creators of the hit Broadway musical Hamilton, to discuss the impact of art on social change. Miranda and Kail sought to emphasize the role of traditionally marginalized groups in the creation of the United States, including women and Black people. In doing so, they steered conversations for thousands of theatergoers.

“As we move from believer to builder, we are also modeling a mindset for our children.”

Chugh stresses the importance of parents modeling behavior and shaping their children’s beliefs and perspectives. The stories parents tell inside their homes help combat media narratives, which are overwhelmingly white, straight, and male.

“Just one person violating a social norm can loosen its hold.”

This quote stresses the importance of individual action in social justice. Studies show that if one person speaks up against racism, others are less likely to tolerate racism. Breaking social norms is an attitude change that is necessary for behavioral change.

“At the very root of the biases is usually the inability to see yourself in the other party.”

Bassey Ikpi, a straight Black woman who lobbies for gay rights through educational outreach, uses her own learning experiences to help others to learn. With these words, Bassey emphasizes cultivating empathy, making social justice issues personally relevant to the people she tries to educate, which humanizes members of the LGBTQ community.

“Hell is not a place where we ourselves suffer. Hell is where you watch people you care about suffer and do nothing about it.”

Chugh explains the importance of action in becoming a builder by emphasizing the stakes of standing by and watching others suffer injustice. Remaining silent hurts not only those being oppressed but also those who desire to be supportive yet do nothing.