The Perfect Escape

Nate and Kate’s juxtaposed perspectives display two different and often contrasting sets of family dynamics. Nate’s home life is influenced by his Korean American cultural identity and his experience growing up in poverty. Although he despises his socioeconomic status, he resents even more being kept in the dark about the realities of his family’s finances. He only knows that they are struggling because he manages to piece the picture together on his own; however, true to form, his parents are never forthcoming on the issue. This lack of communication causes tension between Nate and his parents, and the author uses this aspect of the story to highlight the tensions that commonly arise between first- and second-generation immigrant family members who must negotiate different understandings of various rules and values. In Nate’s case, his family history has not been disclosed to him because of his parents’ shame and pain surrounding the issue. After the competition, Nate’s father tearfully reveals that his parents are not actually dead as he made Nate believe. Instead, his father’s family in Korea was wealthy, but he renounced them in order to be with Nate’s mother, who was not their choice for his wife. As Nate’s father finally admits, “I give it all up…so, we don’t have much. Everything we have is old, some is broken, but it is ours. Our family” (270). This is the most that his father has ever expressed, both literally and emotionally, to his son. The moment shows that even though each generation may have different values, their family bond is solid when it is based on love rather than money. Indeed, Nate learns this important lesson as he comes to appreciate his positive relationship with his little sister, whom he has considered to be a bratty nuisance throughout the majority of the novel. Later, he learns to appreciate her creativity and her colorful presence in his life and realizes that he loves “being her older brother” (267). Nate realizes that his non-typical family is everything he needs.

Alternatively, Kate’s family dynamics are drastically shifted after her mother’s death. Her mother supported her theater dreams and made her father more easygoing. Kate recalls how losing her mother broke the bond of their small family. All she has of her mother is a garnet necklace that she holds sacred, and this item is almost lost in a final struggle in the competition. As Kate’s narration reveals, “That garnet necklace was the last thing my mom gave me. I’d worn it every day, every night since the day Raina had pulled me out of my funk and dragged me to the skating rink. It meant everything to me. I needed it back” (258). Not only does the necklace represent her mother, but it also shows how far Kate has come in moving beyond her grief and depression. She has reunited with friends and connected with Nate, and she has learned that the meaning of family means more than simply being related by blood. She gets the necklace back but still must deal with the lingering effects of her father’s betrayal and control. Later in the novel, the moment in which her father acknowledges missing his wife shows a break in his cold, demanding behavior. She realizes that his overprotection may be his way of coping with his grief and that he may also blame himself for his wife’s death. In New York, Kate hints that their relationship may be mended as they discuss things “adult to adult” (295). Although the author does not provide full confirmation, the narrative nonetheless hints that Kate’s maturity and her father’s regret could be the basis for the path to forgiveness, thereby showing that some darker family dynamics have a hope of being healed.