The Other Woman

“[T]here was a growing part of me, the part that no one saw, that hoped this was something. I wasn’t brave enough, or stupid enough, perhaps, to be singing from the rooftops that Adam was ‘the one.’”

Emily outwardly maintains a strong and confident persona; inwardly, she is timid and unsure of herself. Emily guards the vulnerable parts of herself from others. Adam uses these more vulnerable parts of Emily against her, manipulating her to his advantage.

“But no matter how hard I tried, we always ended up talking about me, even when I was the one asking the questions [...] Adam’s constant deflection left me wondering: What did I really know about him?”

Early in their relationship, Adam demonstrates his ability to control Emily through conversations. Adam exerts power over his and Emily’s relationship by driving their discussions. Sandie Jones uses foreshadowing by having Emily question the nature of Adam’s character early on.

“‘Ah.’ He sighed. ‘The enlightenment years.’ I smiled, grateful to him for relieving the intensity of the conversation.”

Adam belittles a past version of Emily’s life with this sarcastic statement, clearly perceiving Emily’s career fluctuation negatively. Emily appreciates Adam’s sense of humor because she is unaware of Adam’s tendency to be emotionally abusive. Later, when she knows how little respect Adam has for her, Emily will see these comments differently.

“‘Take care of yourself, sweetheart,’ Mum said, as she hugged me at the door. If it wasn’t Adam I was going to, I’d have stayed right there in her warm embrace. She smelled of mulled wine and oranges.”

Valerie assists in developing The Protective Nature of Maternal Relationships through her interactions with Emily. Valerie naturally comforts Emily by moving close, embracing her, and reassuring her of a positive outcome. Emily will later become a nurturing and protective mother, her demeanor resembling Valerie’s and elaborating on a greater conversation surrounding nature versus nurture.

“[T]hey were polar opposites [...] Adam was the first to admit that he was motivated by money, yet James was quite happy to live from one day to the next, as long as he was outside doing what he loved.”

James is the foil character to Adam in almost every regard. James’s career mindset demonstrates that he has different values from Adam, who is driven by results and success. Emily relates more to James in this regard, and the fact that Emily never recognizes Adam’s aggression and lack of passion illustrates how quickly the couple rushed into their relationship.

“‘But Em, you’ve hardly touched it,’ she went on. The ‘Em’ seemed to sound sarcastic, like a taunting child in a playground.”

Nicknames symbolize harmful relationships and exclusion in The Other Woman. Pammie uses the nickname “Em” for Emily to enhance the guilt she attempts to assign. To others, Pammie’s use of the nickname for Emily might seem as though she is trying to be close and familiar with Emily; however, the nickname sounds very different to Emily, as she is fully aware of how Pammie is trying to separate her and Adam.

“True to form, from the moment she’d arrived, Pammie had dominated our very existence, from moaning about the flat’s temperature, to pulling a sulky face when Adam told her I’d made up the spare bedroom for her.”

Pammie exhibits stereotypical toxic mother-in-law behavior as a way to drive Emily away. She invades Emily and Adam’s home life and demands authority in the couple’s private space. Because Adam refuses to go against his mother’s wishes, Emily feels as though he and Pammie team up against her.

“You never know what these young men get up to, especially someone as handsome as my Adam.”

Although Pammie mostly fakes her overbearing mother-in-law persona with Emily, she slips in several truths about Adam’s nature. Pammie knows, or at least suspects, Adam is being unfaithful to Emily. Emily, who already struggles with trust, feels betrayed by Pammie, and any possible warning Pammie gives is lost on Emily.

“This should be one of the happiest times of your life. You’ve got a great new flat together, he’s gone and put a ring on it, and you’re supposed to be planning your wedding. This is your happy time.”

Ceremonial events in The Other Woman and the expectations surrounding these traditions evoke angst and despair where there should be happiness and excitement. Emily continuously finds her expectations and joy crushed by Pammie and Adam when these events are ruined in various ways. Emily loses an innocent part of herself while watching her hopes and plans for ceremonial events slip away.

“The dynamics in this three-way relationship needed to shift, and darling Pammie needed to know that it was me and Adam against the world.”

Emily becomes more manipulative as the novel progresses. Her priorities change from chasing happiness to chasing Adam at all costs. Emily recognizes Pammie’s manipulative behavior, and when honest communication fails with Adam, she resorts to her manipulative tactics, which she will later regret.

“We both loved her more than each other, and once we’d realized the hurt we’d caused, it was over. A silly mistake with so much consequence.”

Emily’s rekindled relationship with Charlotte illustrates Honest Communication and the Importance of Forgiveness. Charlotte speaks candidly with Emily, her genuine regret contrasting sharply with Adam and Pammie’s insincere apologies. Charlotte demonstrates empathy by acknowledging the hurt she caused and taking responsibility for her wrongdoing.

“Gay or not, he’s still a man, and he’s cavorting with his girlfriend, going on her hen weekend. It’s embarrassing for him.”

Adam’s dislike of Seb develops the misogynistic qualities of his character. Adam encourages Emily to distance herself from her close friend, demonstrating how he feels threatened by other men close to Emily. In contrast, Pippa loudly advocates for Emily to leave Adam, yet Adam has no qualms about Emily and Pippa’s friendship. He underestimates Pippa because she is a woman.

“This was not going how I wanted it to go, and it took all my strength not to cry. I remonstrated with myself as to how that would make me look, like a pampered princess throwing a hissy fit over trivial details.”

Instead of advocating for herself, Emily cuts her losses at the expense of her happiness during traditional wedding events. Ceremonial events develop into a symbol of angst and frustration. In letting go of these ideal moments, Emily adapts her priorities to accommodate others and maintains an unhealthy relationship with Adam.

“That’s the thing with Pammie: she gave you a compliment that everybody heard, only to follow it with a barbed snipe that was barely noticeable, except, of course, by me, its intended victim.”

Emily articulates Pammie’s preferred Mechanics of Manipulation. Although subtle, Pammie attacks Emily’s character in ways that others could interpret as a compliment. In doing so, Pammie can belittle Emily while also isolating her.

“‘I haven’t come to see Adam,’ he said, his speech a little slurred. He gently pushed on the door.”

Closed Doors represent violating a character’s boundaries. Adam bursts through closed and locked doors on multiple occasions, typically disturbing Emily’s peace as he crosses the threshold. Comparatively, James gently pushes his way into Emily’s apartment, demonstrating his softer and more considerate personality.

“He rubbed my back while he held me, blissfully unaware of the knowledge that was slowly poisoning my brain. The realization that not only was Pammie a lying, deceitful schemer who had set out to ruin my life, but a truly abhorrent murderer who had deprived Rebecca of hers.”

Jones uses misdirection with the character Rebecca. All indicators point to Pammie as a manipulative, hurtful character capable of murder. This distraction dampens any suspicion that otherwise might be placed on Adam, Rebecca’s killer.

“She had changed me as a person already, had made me see myself differently. She’d stripped away my confidence and had caused hurt that I’d carry with me until the day I died, but I would not allow her to take away the one thing she wanted.”

Emily recognizes the changes in her character due to Pammie’s bullying. Although less self-assured, Emily recognizes that dealing with the long-term effects of abuse makes her a stronger person. However, in Emily’s determination to “win” Adam, she also becomes manipulative and devious.

“Perhaps it was all part of that in-built defense mechanism that women seem to be born with, that bogs us down and keeps us from saying the things we really want to say. Believing that holding back somehow keeps us one step ahead, making us the better, stronger gender. Why, then, did pretending to be someone I wasn’t leave me feeling weak and bereft?”

Emily acknowledges how protective instincts, especially for women, can prevent women from succeeding. She recognizes how the societal pressure to feel and act a certain way prevents her from finding happiness. Emily feels as if she must act a certain way around Adam, taking the full responsibility of preserving their relationship while hiding her true self from him.

“Funny how the possibility of me being ill was all about him. I hadn’t really noticed that before.”

Emily becomes more adept at detecting Adam’s arrogance. Adam victimizes himself with other people’s suffering, justifying his inappropriate behavior. At the novel’s opening, Emily might have seen Adam’s distress as sweet; however, Emily begins to identify Adam’s egotism as his emotional abuse worsens.

“He’d come at me then, and grabbed hold of my wrist. ‘You’re pregnant and you’re happy to go out dressed like a hooker, are you?’”

Adam’s verbal and emotional abuse becomes worse as Emily becomes more vulnerable. Adam believes he has more of an opportunity to control Emily when she is pregnant and caring for a newborn. Adam’s practice of taking advantage of Emily while her defenses are down further explores the mechanics of manipulation.

“‘Emily, come and take Poppy,’ she said. [...] she gently handed my baby to me. I held her to me and breathed her in.”

Pammie’s passing of Poppy to Emily represents multigenerational protective maternal instincts at work. Pammie rushes to protect Poppy even though Emily’s life is in danger, knowing Emily would prioritize Poppy’s safety over her own. Emily’s need to hold her daughter protectively is so visceral that she smells Poppy’s head.

“‘Babe, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about,’ said Adam, looking at me imploringly. He was clearly hedging his bets, trying to work out which of the women in front of him had his back. ‘She’s crazy, insane. You’ve got to believe me.’”

Adam uses gaslighting as a manipulative tactic to control others. When a character challenges Adam, he questions their mental stability. Even though Pammie just saved Emily and Poppy, Adam desperately tries to gaslight his mother by calling her crazy in order to regain control of the situation.

“We’ve got Poppy to think about. She needs the both of us. We can be a family, a proper family.”

Adam makes one final attempt to manipulate Emily by using their daughter to appeal to her emotions. Adam evokes a stereotypical definition of a family with two married parents; however, Pammie has already demonstrated how much more proper a family can feel when abuse is removed from the home.