The Lakota Way: Stories and Lessons in Living

“Humility can provide clarity where arrogance makes a cloud.”

Crazy Horse was a great warrior who led the Lakota against Lieutenant Colonel George Custer at Little Bighorn. He is popularly known for his bravery in battle. However, the author admires Crazy Horse more for his humility.

“The burden of humility is light because a truly humble person divests himself or herself of the need for recognition.”

In writing about the virtue of humility, Marshall says that a humble person does not stumble because he or she is concentrated on the moment than on winning recognition. Therefore, the humble person will be able to see ahead more clearly. The arrogant man, on the other hand, is too focused on the current moment to see the future clearly.

“Therefore you haven’t truly tasted success until you’ve picked yourself up after failure has knocked you down, as many times as it takes, until you accomplish what you’ve set out to do.”

Perseverance, Marshall writes, enables people to survive hardships and pain. It is once people have lived through hard times that they can truly feel success. Without struggling, one does not really know or appreciate what success feels like.

“Respect is a close relative of tolerance, and both go a long way to prevent and alleviate the negative interactions between and among people.”

Marshall writes that respect is a central virtue of the Lakota. He notes that the Lakota lived in small tipis in which they each had very little personal space. However, their respect for each other allowed them to live in harmony in cramped quarters.

“As a further demonstration of respect, the Lakota used every piece of the bison.”

The author explains that respect is connected the Lakotas’ veneration for living things. When they killed bison, they gave thanks and forgiveness after the hunt. They also used every piece of the animal to honor the animal and show that they had not killed it in vain.

“Europeans and Euro-Americans fought to kill as many of the enemy as possible while doing considerable damage to their supplies and support functions. Plains Indian warriors endeavored to demonstrate courage and honor in the face of the enemy, and defeating an enemy didn’t necessarily mean having to kill him.”

Marshall writes that the Lakota define courage differently than whites do. Europeans and Euro-Americans define courage on the battlefield as inflicting as many injuries on the opponent as possible. On the other hand, courage among the Lakota and other Plains Indian tribes involved showing mettle and honor in battle.

“Honor is probably the most difficult virtue to uphold because it requires that one first be honest with oneself. If you can overlook or live with your own dishonor, then it’s a simple matter to think that the rest of the world can also.”

Honor involves starting with oneself. If one is not honest about oneself, one cannot be honorable towards others. The author tells the story of a builder who skimped on constructing a house and then found out the house would be his. In other words, his own lack of honesty hurt himself.

“Like so many other aspects of our existence—our values, traditions, and customs—love is all about balance.”

The author writes about love as a balance between two people. He likens a true bond between two people as the relationships between a bow and arrow. They need each other to survive and to carry out their given function.

“It matters not whether one is the bow or the arrow; what matters is the mutual purpose they fulfill, the balance they achieve.”

The author’s metaphor for true love is the set of a bow and arrow. Each element needs the other. Without one, the other is without purpose.

“The United States government, at the urging of many Christian churches that characterized the dance as uncivilized and barbaric, outlawed the Sun Dance. They failed or chose not to see the ceremony for what it was: a symbolic act of sacrifice.”

Marshall writes about the Sun Dance in which participants pierce their skin. Into these piercings are inserted staves that are connected to pole. Participants pull the cord connected to the pole tighter and tighter. While whites outlawed this practice, the Lakota see it as an exercise in showing sacrifice of themselves to their tribe.

“The truth is we Lakota still walk the face of the Earth. The truth is we survived traumatic change and are wiser and stronger because of it. The illusion is we were overwhelmed by numbers: more people with more guns needing more and more of what we had.”

Marshall says that it can be difficult to distinguish truth from illusion. The prevailing white idea has been that the Lakota were overwhelmed because the white forces were braver and had the right to take over Lakota land. The reality, or the truth, is that the Lakota were forced to reckon with a force that outnumbered them and that had guns.

“The final—and perhaps the greatest—truth about death is that it is the great equalizer; it connects all living beings to its truth.”

The author states that humans often like to deny truth. One of the truths that they often reject is the inevitability of death. However, the reality of death equalizes all of us and connects us to the greater Circle of Life.

“That is compassion, simply and profoundly: the sharing of someone else’s dilemma, pain, or loss—caring enough to take some of the burden or provide relief so that the aggrieved or injured person does not have to bear it alone.”

Marshall writes about his grandmother, who attended the funeral of a baby on the Rosebud Reservation. She took some of the family’s grief on herself. This was her way of offering the family a degree of solace.

“Relocation turned out to be just another in a long and continuing list of challenges to be met, something else to be survived. It was the bear that attacked our camp.”

The author writes that people show bravery in ways that are often not as overt as actions on the battlefield. For example, during the 1950s and 1960s, many Native Americans moved into cities as part of a “relocation” program. There, they suffered cultural shock and loss. They had to be brave to endure these hardships, and many returned home to their reservations.

“Lightning-struck ash trees were rare, but they were preferred because they had suffered ultimate adversity, and ultimate adversity produces strength.”

The author says that Lakota hunters had to find and cure and dry ash wood to construct a boy. However, if they found ash that had been struck by lightning, that wood made the strongest bow. That is because adversity causes something—and people—to become tougher.

“Grandmothers are the very best friends anyone can have. There is no way to replace them.”

This what Good Voice says to the girl In a Hurry in “The Story of the Old Woman’s Dog.” One of the sub-themes of Marshall’s book is the respect for elders. He was very close to his own grandparents, who raised him, and he speaks of the way in which they transmitted the virtues he is writing about to him when he was growing up.

“Life provides the gifts if we know where to look.”

Marshall writes about an old woman, Good Voice, who finds a puppy for the young girl In a Hurry, who has lost her grandmother. Good Voice comes back to claim her dog, whom In a Hurry has grown to love. She finds a puppy for In a Hurry, symbolizing the way in which life can provide what we need.

“Grandmothers in every Native American culture, and no less among us Lakota, are the epitome of all the virtues we strive to learn and practice.”

The author writes about the ways in which Lakota women have sustained their culture. As exemplars of fortitude, they have kept their families together through trauma. The women are the sinews that maintain the connectedness of the culture.

“The woman’s mother gave a bit of simple advice that symbolized an undercurrent of quiet resistance. ‘Whisper,’ she said.”

Marshall writes that Lakota grandmothers had a quiet means of resisting. Rather than overtly fighting, they offered subtle ways to resist. For example, one woman told her daughter to continue to whisper in Lakota in the boarding school where she was told not to use her native language.

“The fact that we still exist culturally has its basis in the quiet fortitude of many of our grandparents and great-grandparents. Instead of overtly resisting, they quietly, but stubbornly, hung on to their ways.”

The author credits elders among the Lakota with sustaining their culture. The elders pass down stories and offer other means of quiet but strong resistance. For this reason and others, Marshall has great respect for elders.

“The Earth shared with us and taught us to share.”

Marshall writes that we should be generous because the Earth itself is generous. The Earth has shared its gifts with us and sustains us. Therefore, we must also share of ourselves.

“When all is said and done, I would prefer to be known for my wisdom.”

The author writes that he would rather be known for his wisdom than for great achievements. He says that in times of crisis, he thinks of people who have shared their wisdom with him. This is the way to return the gifts life has given us.

“Every Indian male has six legs, two of his own and four belonging to his horse.”

This comment, made by a white observer, highlights the importance of the horse to Lakota culture. The horse fit in perfectly with their nomadic culture. Although the horse was not introduced until the late 1600s, it enhanced their nomadic way of life and improved their ability to hunt bison.