The Hating Game

“I should mention that the ultimate aim of all our games is to make the other smile, or cry. It’s something like that. I’ll know when I win.”

Lucy’s reveals that while she’s immersed in the games she plays with Joshua, she doesn’t actually know what they’re competing for. In the early part of the novel, Lucy speaks defensively, as she does here about her game playing. She reveals self-awareness about being immature.

“You’re chronically addicted to making people adore you.”

Joshua refers to Lucy’s primary character flaw. Her need for others to like her will change due to her relationship with Joshua. She learns to stand up for herself and Joshua by the end of the novel and is no longer so concerned with what she looks like to others.

“Live a little.”

Helene tells Lucy she wants her to enjoy herself and that she works too much. Earlier, Lucy saw a sign with the same words in Danny’s office. The phrase has subtext, referring to how Lucy has kept herself insulated and static.

“You’re always beautiful.”

Lucy receives roses with this note attached. She assumes the roses are from Danny, but learns eventually that they’re from Joshua. While Joshua needs to know he’s more than his good looks, Lucy needs to know she’s beautiful on the outside. 

“Trust us to be opposites.”

During the paintball game, Joshua protects Lucy and gets hit all over his back, and Lucy protects Joshua and gets hit all over her front. Lucy refers to the ongoing motif of her and Joshua as opposites, foreshadowing how Opposites Attract.

“I never knew the full story. When Josh smiles, he is blinding.”

When Lucy is sick and Joshua cares for her, Lucy sees parts of Joshua she’s never seen—his kindness, humor, and warmth. She begins to understand him on a deeper level; it’s because she notices these things about him that they fall in love. Thorne suggests that a deeper connection beyond lust is valuable, and that falling in love is a combination of physical attraction and emotional connection.

“I’ve always suspected people in our lives are here to teach us a lesson. I’ve been sure Josh’s purpose is to test me. Push me. Make me tougher.”

Joshua wants Lucy to stop worrying so much about what others think so she can be a better advocate for herself. He wants to see her be better. The above quote foreshadows how Lucy will change through her relationship with Joshua, how she will become stronger and more assertive.

“No one can kiss me like you do.”

Joshua wants Lucy’s affection for himself, for Lucy to see that he’s the only one for her. He tells her to kiss Danny, and says that he’ll wish them well if she feels as much as she did when kissing Joshua. She does kiss Danny, and feels nothing. When Lucy tells Joshua that “no one can kiss” her like him, their romantic and sexual relationship begins for real.

“The Joshua I know is no longer enough. Knowledge is power, and I can’t get enough at this point.”

These lines mark a shift in the book. Lucy originally believed that whoever had the most knowledge about the other was in a better position to win. When she first sees Joshua’s apartment, she begins to want to know more about him—not to win, but because she’s become romantically invested.

“All my favorite boyfriends when I was younger weren’t particularly nice.”

Helene tells Lucy this after Lucy says that Danny is nice. Lucy doesn’t understand yet that Joshua is bothered by the idea of “nice” because he has a history of women leaving him for nice men. The more she comes to know Joshua, the more she sees that he too is nice behind his façade—that his niceness is actually kindness, something deeper than mere friendliness. Both Lucy and Joshua come to learn that Appearances Can Mask the Truth.

“The trick is to find someone who’s strong enough to take it. That one person who can give it back as good as they get.”

Lucy and Joshua are constantly playing games. Their Games Prevent Intimacy, but their willingness to keep the games going leads them to ultimately make themselves vulnerable for each other.

“I want to see you be as strong with other people as you are with me.”

Joshua genuinely wants to see Lucy grow. He wants her to have better boundaries with other people and not let them walk all over her. Their relationship influences her to stand up for herself and to care less what others think. Their opposing qualities, rather than hindering a relationship, complement one another.

“The thing about being in combat with Joshua Templeman? I never truly win. That’s what is so deceptive about it all. The moment I think I’ve won, something happens to remind me I haven’t.”

As long as Lucy and Joshua are not authentic, they will stay enemies. Lucy will realize that winning means something different than what she originally thought. Intimacy—not cheap victory and getting one up on Josh—is the ultimate reward.

“I am so much more than my insane body.”

Joshua tells Lucy this after she says his body is “insane,” meaning perfectly sculpted. He wants her to understand that plenty of women have wanted him for his looks, but never has anyone also loved who he truly is beneath the skin. This quote points to how Appearances Can Mask the Truth.

“If I ever thought I was an addict before, it was a vast understatement. I want to OD on him. By the end of this weekend, I’ll be legless in a back alley, unable to say my own name.”

Lucy’s narration is often humorous, as this quote illustrates. She often refers to her sexual chemistry with Josh as addictive; once they are alone in a hotel room together, she feels more like an addict than ever. The motif of addiction recurs throughout the novel. Though addiction is usually perceived as negative, it has positive consequences for Lucy: It prevents her from holding herself back, allows her to let down her guard, and enables her to recreate herself.

“He’s seen me sweating, vomiting, feverish, and asleep. He’s seen me angry, frustrated, scared. Horny, lonely, heartsick. No matter how I look, it never seems to faze him. He always looks at me exactly the same way.”

Like Joshua, Lucy wants to be wanted no matter what she looks like on the outside, and Joshua has always made her feel that way. She tells the reader that there’s no need for pretenses when it comes to him. She can be herself entirely, and he will want her. Here, Thorne hints at the unconditional nature of authentic love.

“Sure, he’s an argumentative, calculating, territorial asshole 40 percent of the time, but the other 60 percent is so filled with humor and sweetness and vulnerability.”

Lucy knows Joshua in ways most don’t, beyond his exterior. This depth of knowing someone, Thorne suggests, is also a quality of true love. Additionally, the above quote highlights how Joshua conforms to the heroic archetype in romance novels—a bad boy with a vulnerable core.

“But she never challenged Josh. You have since the first day you met him. You make him angry. You’ve never been scared of him. You’ve taken the time to try to understand him, just to get the upper hand in your little office skirmishes. You notice him.”

Joshua’s mother sees that Lucy’s taken the time to get to know her son. Joshua has made clear no woman has done this with him, just like his father hasn’t—this is why it’s so important and special when Lucy does.

“I may as well be the best at something, even if it is being an asshole. I’ll never be nice.”

Joshua has built his façade because of his father. Patrick is the favorite son, and Joshua has determined to become Patrick’s opposite. However, it becomes clear that Josh is in fact a nice guy. Even better, he’s also kind.

“He makes words like intimacy seem inadequate.”

Lucy suggests that her connection with Josh is beyond words. Love, Thorne suggests, is a melding of the carnal and emotional.

“I’ve changed. I’m someone new today. Today is a momentous day.”

Lucy stands up to Joshua’s father, more concerned about Joshua than with what Anthony might think of her. This marks the completion of Lucy’s character arc. She’s no longer a people pleaser.

“You love him. You love him. You always have. More than you’ve ever hated him. Every day, staring at this man, knowing every color and expression and nuance. Every game you’ve ever played has been to engage with him. Talk to him. Feel his eyes on you. To try to make him notice you.”

By the end of the novel, Lucy realizes she’s always been in love with Joshua. This is a common theme in romance. In the film Clueless, for example, Cher, the heroine, can’t stand her stepbrother, also named Josh. Then she has a similar epiphany: “I love Josh.” (Clueless: I Love Josh. YouTube.com.) The Josh of Clueless, like the Josh of The Hating Game, helps the protagonist become a better person. The above quote from The Hating Game also echoes the novel’s opening, where Lucy notes that love and hate feel similar. 

“I love the energy we create between us when we banter like this. It’s the most intense sensation of pleasure, knowing he’ll always have the perfect response ready. I’ve never known anyone like him; as addictive to talk to as he is to kiss.”

By the end of the story, Lucy’s addiction has extended beyond the physical. Their conversations create the same sort of pleasurable response as their physical connection. Thorne shows the multifaceted nature of true love.