The Graham Effect

“A hockey player isn’t just someone who plays hockey. Someone who plays hockey shows up at the rink an hour before a game, throws their skates on, pounds out three periods, changes back into their street clothes, and scampers on home. A hockey player lives and breathes hockey. We’re always training. We pour our time into it. We show up two hours before practice to hone our game. Mental, physical, and emotional. We strengthen, condition, push our bodies to their limits. We dedicate our lives to the sport.”

Gigi candidly discusses the demanding nature of being an elite college hockey player, shedding light on the immense dedication required for success. That Gigi speaks these words emphasizes that such commitment to athletics is not exclusive to men’s sports. Moreover, this quote underscores Gigi’s penchant for setting unattainably high standards for herself, extending beyond the rink to her personal expectations of maintaining a positive attitude devoid of negativity toward others.

“When you have a famous parent, you tend to spend a lot of your time in their shadow. I knew when I started playing, I would be forever compared to my father. Dad is a living legend, no other way around it. He holds so many records, it’s impossible to keep track of them anymore. […] That little aggrieved pang is one I need to rein in. I know that. If there’s anyone you want to be compared to, it’s one of the greatest athletes of all time. I think maybe I’m just scarred from the misogynistic caveats that come with all the compliments I’ve received over the years. She played really well…for a girl. Her stat lines are impressive…for a woman. Nobody tells a male hockey player that he played amazingly well for a man.”

This quote highlights the themes of The Weight of Legacy and Gender Roles, Gendered Expectations, and Gender Stereotypes as Gigi grapples with the burden of her father’s legacy and the devaluation of her achievements solely because of her gender. The quote also hints at Gigi’s predominant character flaw: her tendency to harbor guilt over experiencing negative emotions toward others.

“The truth of the matter is, men and women’s hockey are two vastly different beasts. Women have fewer opportunities to keep playing after college, the professional league has fewer viewers, drastically lower salaries. I get it—one NHL game probably draws a gazillion more viewers than all women’s hockey games combined. The men deserve every dime they are paid and every opportunity given to them. It just means I need to capitalize on every opportunity granted to me as a female player. And that means? The Olympics, baby. Making Team USA and winning Olympic gold has been my goal since I was six years old. And I’ve been working toward it ever since.”

Elle Kennedy’s narrative underscores the disparities between men’s and women’s hockey, shedding light on Gender Roles, Gendered Expectations, and Gender Stereotypes pervasive in sports. Despite Gigi’s pragmatic acceptance that the salary gap is justified by differences in viewership, the perception of women’s hockey as less physically intense perpetuates the notion that it is inherently less exciting. Gigi’s measured response to the limited opportunities for female players prompts reflection on the fairness of such discrepancies. Furthermore, this quote reveals Gigi’s enduring aspiration to compete in the Olympics, highlighting her lifelong ambition.

“He gives me that earnest expression, and it’s another hit to my already aching heart. It sucks because Case is a genuinely good guy. He wasn’t being malicious when he did what he did. I truly don’t believe he meant to hurt me. He made a mistake. No, corrects the sharp voice in my head. He didn’t make a mistake. He made a choice.”

Gigi grapples with conflicting emotions, acknowledging her lingering anger toward Case for his betrayal and feeling responsible for his emotional distress. Despite her empathy toward him, Gigi remains steadfast in her decision not to reconcile their relationship, despite the guilt she experiences over his feelings. This quote illustrates Gigi’s difficulty processing negative emotions.

“Is that what you need from people? To be told what a good girl you are?”

While Ryder’s words here may be laden with sexual innuendo, they underscore Gigi’s genuine desire for validation from others. As a natural people-pleaser, Gigi often seeks approval and is overly concerned with how others perceive her. This inclination to seek external validation is a character flaw that Ryder will play a crucial role in helping her overcome as their relationship progresses throughout the novel.

“Ryder’s wrong. My last name isn’t why Briar—and half a dozen other big hockey schools—begged me to attend. They wanted me because I’m good. No, because I’m great. I know I am. But that doesn’t stop the dam of insecurity from bursting open and a flood of doubt from seeping into my blood.”

Ryder strikes a vulnerable chord within Gigi by suggesting that her position on the Briar University hockey team is a product of nepotism. Despite her rational understanding that this is not true, Gigi’s tendency to internalize criticism causes this notion to linger, underscoring the recurring theme of The Weight of Legacy throughout the narrative.

“Michael Klein is the teammate whose jaw I broke in the Worlds. He had to get it wired shut after what I did to it. But I haven’t told anybody what was said in that locker room, and I don’t plan to.

‘Yeah, yeah, I know,’ he says when I don’t respond. ‘It’s in the past and therefore forbidden from being discussed.’

Owen likes to mock my ‘It’s in the past’ motto, the phrase I tend to throw out when someone tries forcing me to talk about shit I don’t want to talk about. It particularly annoys women. Or people with sunshine and rainbows in their backgrounds—they’re incapable of understanding why I want to keep that door latched and locked. Behind that door is nothing but darkness and pain. Who wants to trudge through that filth? To ruminate and rehash? Best to always keep the door shut.”

Ryder’s reluctance to delve into the circumstances surrounding his assault on Michael Klein contributes significantly to the ongoing misperceptions about his character throughout the narrative. This quote also sheds light on Ryder’s perspective regarding his past, viewing it as a door best left closed. He believes that avoiding reflection on his past will diminish its impact on him. However, the narrative reveals that this approach proves ineffective, as Ryder’s unresolved emotions stemming from his past traumas continue to haunt him.

“I prefer stability. Once I feel comfortable with something—a place, a person, a routine—I want it to last forever. I hate that it never does.”

Gigi’s disclosure unveils a crucial facet of her persona: her yearning for stability and aversion to change. Throughout the novel, Gigi’s anxiety and discomfort in the face of change present significant challenges for her character. However, her journey is juxtaposed with Ryder’s, who endured abrupt changes during his formative years without the same level of support, highlighting the contrast in their experiences and coping mechanisms.

“I hate this, you know. […] Whatever you think about me and my last name, I don’t use it to get ahead. I never have. Hell, I would legally change it if I knew it wouldn’t break my dad’s heart. But it would kill him. And, really, it’s not his fault he’s the greatest hockey player of all time. He deserves all the love and accolades.”

Gigi embodies the theme of The Weight of Legacy through her reflections on her father’s influence. She confides in Ryder about her discomfort with galas and similar events, where individuals often seek proximity to her father through her. In this revealing conversation, Gigi exposes her inner conflict with negative emotions, grappling with resentment toward the burden of her father’s legacy while simultaneously experiencing guilt for harboring such sentiments.

“‘We were driving back from Malone’s, and I saw your car on the street. At first, I was like, No, there’s no fucking way Gigi would be here.’ Bitterness hardens his voice. ‘And yet here you fucking are. […] Go get Mya,’ he orders. ‘We’re leaving.’

She appears like she wants to argue. Then she releases an annoyed breath and surrenders. ‘One second.’”

Case’s actions in the altercation with Gigi and Ryder underscore the pervasive issues surrounding Gender Roles, Gendered Expectations, and Gender Stereotypes. Firstly, Case exhibits a sense of entitlement over Gigi’s actions and whereabouts, reflecting ingrained gender norms dictating male control over female behavior. Additionally, his expectation of obedience from Gigi highlights the unequal power dynamics perpetuated by gender stereotypes. Moreover, despite her objections, Gigi’s compliance with Case’s demands exemplifies the pressure on women to prioritize harmony and suppress their desires to appease men, thus perpetuating the cycle of gendered expectations.

“Sucking in a breath, I cover her hand with mine, lacing our fingers together. It’s not a standard move in my arsenal. In fact, it’s one I would normally avoid at all costs. But it feels nice, so I don’t question why I did it. I wait for her to start talking. To start asking questions. […] But Gigi doesn’t say anything. ‘Something on your mind?’ I say gruffly. Fucking hell. I initiated a conversation. Willingly. What is happening and how do I stop this? Why can’t I stop this? I’ve never been interested in digging deeper with the women in my bed, but I’m a bit eager for a glimpse into Gigi’s head.”

This moment signifies a significant shift in Ryder’s dynamic with Gigi and underscores The Power of Love and Acceptance in Fostering Emotional Growth. Despite their casual relationship defined by agreements and a lack of commitment, Ryder experiences an unexpected inclination to open up to Gigi and actively engage with her thoughts and feelings. While Ryder acknowledges this departure from his usual demeanor, he resists categorizing or fully acknowledging the depth of his emotions, reflecting his internal struggle with vulnerability and intimacy.

“That’s what my friends say. It drives them nuts that I don’t want to sit around and trash Emma. It’s not that I forgive her or feel any goodwill toward her—I trash her plenty in my head. But I never say it out loud. I feel like I’m not…allowed to be hateful. […] Because I have all these opportunities in my life. I’m not some victim. I’ve had it so good up until now. It feels selfish to bitch about my problems.’

‘It’s not selfish, it’s natural. […] You don’t owe people your forgiveness.’

‘You forgive for yourself, not for them.’ She sounds distraught now. ‘That’s why it upsets me. What does it say about me that I’m perfectly okay holding on to the hatred?’”

This quote offers insight into Gigi’s inner struggles and her fear that harboring negative emotions reflects poorly on her character. Furthermore, it highlights the evolving dynamic in her relationship with Ryder, demonstrating his capacity to attentively listen to her worries and offer genuine, supportive feedback. Gigi grapples with the fear of being judged for expressing her negative feelings, yet Ryder creates a safe environment free of judgment, allowing her to express herself openly and honestly. This exchange underscores the importance of empathy, understanding, love, and acceptance in their growing connection, illustrating The Power of Love and Acceptance in Fostering Emotional Growth.

“I told Dad how excited I was to get older and win it myself. And that’s when he broke the news that as a girl, that wasn’t really an option. […] I just started bawling. There’s a trail behind our house, and I ran off crying my eyes out. I wanted to be left alone, but I was a kid and obviously my parents weren’t going to allow it. Dad found me and sat me down on a log, wiped away my tears, and promised I’d have something even better than a Stanley Cup win: I was going to be the best female hockey player ever to walk the earth.”

This quote underscores Gigi’s family’s unwavering support while shedding light on the disparities in opportunities between male and female hockey players. Despite Gigi’s exceptional talent and dedication to the sport, she faces the harsh reality that her gender precludes her from ever achieving the ultimate prize: the Stanley Cup. Although Gigi has set new goals for herself, this revelation serves as a poignant reminder of the limitations imposed by gender norms and the lingering disappointment of unattainable aspirations.

“You need to stop feeling bad about the way you feel. You hate that chick Emma and feel bad about hating her. You want something your father doesn’t have and feel bad wanting it. […] It’s like you refuse to voice even a shred of negativity, otherwise it makes you a bad person. Or you feel like you need to be eternally grateful for being born wealthy and gifted.”

This quote encapsulates a pivotal moment in Gigi’s character development, as Ryder challenges her to confront her internal conflicts and embrace her emotions without guilt. By urging her to acknowledge her resentment and desire, Ryder encourages Gigi to prioritize her emotional well-being and authenticity over societal expectations. It highlights the pressure Gigi faces to suppress negativity or discontent, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance and breaking free from the constraints of societal and gender norms.

“But saying no to men isn’t always an easy task. I’d love to be direct. Confrontational. Look him right in the eye and say NO. The problem with being a woman is that you never know what a NO will get you. Is it going to earn me an understanding nod and an okay, well, have a great night, it was nice talking to you? Or will it get me a you entitled bitch, what, you think you’re too fucking good for me?”

This quote from Gigi highlights the pervasive influence of gender roles and expectations in interpersonal interactions, particularly in how women navigate saying “no” to men. Gigi expresses the internal struggle of wanting to assert herself directly but fearing potential backlash or negative consequences for rejecting male advances. Her reflections underscore the societal pressure on women to navigate these situations delicately, highlighting the broader theme of Gender Roles, Gendered Expectations, and Gender Stereotypes and women’s challenges in asserting their boundaries and autonomy within a patriarchal framework.

“‘And every time someone calls me that fucking name, I hear her screaming it that night. When I was in the doorway and Dad suddenly noticed I was there, he spun around and pointed the gun at me. Not as an intentional threat. Just instinct, I think. But Mom screamed, Luke, stop. And Christ, I still have nightmares about it. I hear her screaming my name. His name […] that’s why I hate it, all right? I don’t want to think about him. I want to pretend it never happened.’

I pull back and meet his red-rimmed eyes. ‘You can’t, though. Because it did happen,’ I say quietly. ‘I can’t even imagine how painful it was, how painful it still is when you think about it. But pretending it’s not there doesn’t help anything. Isn’t that what you always tell me? To just let myself feel things even if they’re not pleasant?’”

Ryder reveals the deep emotional trauma he carries from his past, particularly the night his father murdered his mother. It highlights Ryder’s struggle to confront and process his painful memories, as well as his internal conflict between wanting to suppress his emotions and recognizing the importance of acknowledging them. Gigi’s response underscores the theme of emotional authenticity and the necessity of facing one’s past in order to heal, mirroring the support and guidance Ryder has provided her throughout their relationship.

“You can’t outrun your history. It doesn’t disappear just because you leave Arizona and move out east and go by the name Ryder. No matter what you do, it’s still there. That is where you come from. […] And whenever you’re reminded of it, instead of shutting down, burying it deep, pushing everyone away…all you have to do is this. […] Just be open and honest with me, and I’ll do my best to help.”

Gigi addresses Ryder’s tendency to distance himself from his past traumas by avoiding emotional vulnerability. She emphasizes the inevitability of confronting one’s history and the importance of facing it openly rather than suppressing it. Gigi offers unconditional support and love and encourages Ryder to embrace honesty and openness to heal and overcome his past.

“And now I’m angry. At myself. Angry for not letting myself live my own life. All this time I was trying to spare Case’s feelings, and now I realize what a crock of shit that was. […] ‘I don’t care. I came to the realization that I can’t live my life worrying about his feelings.’”

This moment signifies a significant turning point for Gigi’s character, as she recognizes the detrimental impact of prioritizing others’ feelings over hers. Trager’s revelation about Case’s infidelity prompts Gigi to confront the reality of her situation and acknowledge the futility of excessively protecting others at her own expense. This shift marks a newfound assertiveness and self-awareness in Gigi, as she prioritizes her own emotional well-being and needs.

“‘You should be prepared.’

‘For what?’

‘You’re gonna marry that girl.’”

Owen exhibits foresight, immediately sensing the possibility of Gigi and Ryder’s future marriage upon their initial encounter. This quote not only foreshadows subsequent events but also underscores the close bond between Ryder and Owen, showcasing Owen’s ability to discern his brother’s intentions swiftly.

“But why don’t I have that other quality he’s looking for? What the hell about me is lacking?’

‘Nothing about you is lacking. Ever. You’re perfect, exactly the way you are. Even with all your flaws. Like needing to be the best. And your taste in music.’ Her answering laugh is a bit wobbly. ‘Nobody likes failure, G. But I maintain that this isn’t failure. This is just one moment in time.’

‘A moment in time,’ she echoes weakly.

‘Yes, and right now, in this moment, you’re down. But that’s okay because I’m here to lift you up.’

‘Always?’ she whispers, peering at me with those big gray eyes.

‘Always. You fall, I pick you up. Always.’”

This quote delineates the transformation in Gigi and Ryder’s relationship since the story’s outset while also exemplifying the theme of The Power of Love and Acceptance in Fostering Emotional Growth. Despite her exceptional performance throughout the year, Gigi experiences devastation upon failing to make the Olympic team. Ryder, in turn, offers solace and reassures her of his unwavering presence and support.

“In fact, Hannah Graham is pretty much my best friend now. Gigi teases me about how frequently we text. It started after the winter holidays, and at first, I pretended it made me uncomfortable. Shrugged it off. Said it was weird she kept contacting me. That was all talk. Whenever her mother checks in on me, it unleashes a flood of warmth in my chest. It’s a totally foreign sensation. But it’s not entirely unwelcome.”

Ryder’s admission reveals a shift in his relationship with Hannah, indicating a growing bond that transcends their initial dynamics. Despite his initial pretense of discomfort, Ryder’s genuine warmth upon receiving messages from Hannah’s mother highlights the unexpected comfort he finds in their connection, underscoring his evolving emotional landscape. This quote suggests Ryder’s gradual acceptance of companionship and support, contrasting with his previous guardedness and isolation.

“It’s cute. I touch his cheek in reassurance, and the moment my fingers connect with his skin, the anxiety leaves his eyes. I have that power over him, and he has the same power over me. Like the night I sobbed in his arms after Fairlee shot down my dreams like a well-trained sniper and left me bleeding from a bullet to the heart. Bang. Dream dead. Ryder made it better that night. He makes it better every night. And day. And minute. We make each other better.”

Gigi’s reflection underscores the emotional connection she shares with Ryder, portraying their relationship as a source of mutual comfort and support. By invoking the imagery of a sniper attack on her dreams, Gigi highlights the vulnerability she experienced and the subsequent solace found in Ryder’s embrace, emphasizing the transformative power of their bond. This quote encapsulates the theme of mutual empowerment and emotional healing through their partnership.

“’I’m sorry I disappointed you,’ I say.

‘You didn’t. I disappointed myself.’ He pauses. ‘I love you. You know that, right?’”

Kennedy skillfully portrays the complexity of reconciliation between Garrett and Gigi, emphasizing the importance of genuine remorse and effort in rebuilding trust. The narrative highlights the nuanced nature of acceptance, showing that it involves acknowledging past mistakes and actively working to mend relationships. Through this process, both characters experience emotional growth, underscoring the transformative power of genuine love and understanding in overcoming familial rifts.