52 pages • 1 hour read
Lisa ThompsonThe Goldfish Boy
Fiction | Novel | Middle Grade | Published in 2017A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Themes
The Shame of Living with Mental Illness
Throughout his narration, Matthew alludes to the deep-seated shame he carries throughout his daily life. Matthew’s deep sense of shame has several origins, one of them being shame about his mental illness. From the start, it is clear that Matthew is intensely fearful of germs, to the point of confining himself indoors to avoid them. Matthew’s germaphobia is later revealed to be the result of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Matthew receives an official OCD diagnosis when he attends his first therapy session with Dr. Rhodes. While an official diagnosis—as well as the subsequent reassurance that recovery is possible—would come as a relief to most people, it seemingly only makes matters worse for Matthew. While Dr. Rhodes carefully explains the specifics of OCD and Matthew’s iteration of it, he feels embarrassed by how his condition has affected his behavior. Though Dr. Rhodes is gentle and informative in her explanation, Matthew cannot help but feel “ridiculous sitting there with [his] stupid plastic gloves” (130). The fear of participating in Dr. Rhodes’s recovery program coupled with his humiliation about being mentally ill in the first place causes both Matthew’s anxiety and shame to increase exponentially.
The shame Matthew feels about his OCD also affects his relationships to those around him. Matthew’s sense of shame and unwillingness to discuss his mental health issues separates him from his loved ones, both physically and emotionally. Matthew avoids his parents at all costs, firstly because he fears the germs they may pass onto him, and secondly because he has no intention of discussing his mental health struggles. The stigma of mental illness also affects how Matthew’s parents first attempt to deal with these issues. Despite knowing that their son’s illness goes beyond the physical, they convince the higher-ups at his school that Matthew has mono, implying they are too embarrassed to admit the truth. Matthew cannot help but notice the way Sheila tries to convince herself of this lie too, by way of asking him regularly how his throat is feeling and if he needs pain medication. In this way, Matthew’s mental health struggles affect not just himself but also the entire family.
Matthew is acutely aware that something is deeply wrong with him mentally and psychologically, and this knowledge is also a source of shame. The acknowledgement that he is unwell and should seek treatment makes Matthew feel helpless and pathetic in moments when he cannot help but give in to his compulsions. When a nightly news segment reports on Teddy Dawson’s kidnapping, Matthew feels triggered and retreats to the bathroom to vigorously wash his hands, which he does 27 times. That he hurries off “to bed before Mum or Dad could see” him points to the awareness that what he is doing is abnormal, and suggests he is too ashamed of his behavior to allow his parents to bear witness (172). By the novel’s end, Matthew’s willingness to share the roots of his trauma with his parents and to continue attending therapy marks the peak of his character arc, suggesting a way forward out of the stigma and shame he has endured for years.
Guilt in Bereavement
Matthew’s deep sense of guilt plays a major role in his struggles with mental health. Throughout his narration, Matthew makes constant reference to the death of his baby brother, Callum, and his belief that he alone is to blame for that loss. He admits to missing the brother he never met and constantly berates himself for that reality, concluding the child only died “because of me” (68). The guilt of surviving his brother is so great that Matthew likens the “the guilt of what [he’d] done” to having “a vicious black beetle” living inside him, “scuttling around in [his] stomach” (34). Matthew’s habit of likening his deep-seated remorse to a living, breathing being suggests that the guilt is not only alive and well, but as persistently annoying and distracting as an insect in a human living environment.
In the second half of the novel, Matthew reveals the origins of the intense and all-consuming guilt he feels regarding the death of his brother. Matthew is convinced that his bout of chicken pox while his mother was pregnant with Callum resulted in the baby’s death only a few days after being born. Matthew assumes that the unborn child contracted his illness via his mother, who nursed him back to health. The trauma of Callum’s death and Matthew’s assumption that he is responsible for it results in the development of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Matthew manages to keep his obsession with cleaning and washing to himself for several years, but the quiet, deep-seated guilt worsens when he discovers his neighbor, Hannah, is pregnant. The anticipation of another baby is triggering to the point where, try as he might, Matthew can no longer hide his fear of germs.
Determined to stay germ-free at all times as a maladaptive coping mechanism for his guilt, Matthew commits to a life of constant washing and sanitizing, convinced he’ll fall ill he doesn’t, which may cause someone around him to die—making their death his fault. When Matthew attends therapy for the first time, Dr. Rhodes explains to him the concept of “magical thinking,” which explains why Matthew “believed that [his] actions and thoughts were able to ‘magically’ prevent some catastrophic illness from hurting [him] or [his] family” (132). In confronting his trauma and realizing that his guilt is baseless, Matthew takes important steps toward processing his trauma in a healthier way and learning to cope with his loss.
The Negative Impact of Social Isolation
Given his germaphobia and obsessive-compulsive disorder, Matthew resolves to isolate himself from the rest of the world—including his family, friends, and neighbors—for most of the novel. Matthew rarely leaves his bedroom, content to observe the world from his bedroom window. Matthew describes his bedroom as “the best part of the house,” and his one place of safety that is “free from germs,” as opposed to “out there,” where “things were dangerous” (18). In the safety of his bedroom, Matthew has full control—of its cleanliness, as well as who and what may enter.
Matthew’s decision to limit potential interactions with germs—and therefore, with other people and the world at large—leaves him feeling lonely and friendless. Starved for companionship, Matthew begins speaking to an image on his bedroom wallpaper that resembles a lion and refers to this image as Wallpaper Lion. Matthew’s anthropomorphizing of the Lion and habit of confiding in him the way he would a living companion speaks to the psychological damage that keeping himself socially isolated has done. Rather than attempt to confide in other humans, such as his parents, best friend Tom, or even his therapist, Matthew settles for friendship with Wallpaper Lion. Part of the appeal of this friendship is that Wallpaper Lion cannot verbally interact with Matthew—limiting verbal interactions with those who are aware of Matthew’s mental health issues subsequently limits the possibility of Matthew having to discuss it.
Other characters in the novel also experience forms of social isolation, as Matthew gradually discovers through forging deeper connections with others. Melody reveals her solitary visits to the cemetery in the wake of her parents’ divorce, in which she takes comfort in a tombstone mermaid—a habit that mirrors Matthew’s attachment to Wallpaper Lion. Jake suffers from years of bullying due to his skin allergies, leading to his estrangement from Matthew and his aggressive stance toward others. Old Nina retreats into isolation after the disappearance of her son, representing the kind of future Matthew could have if he does not learn to break the cycle and seek help for his issues. Each of these characters represents the toll of social isolation and the maladaptive coping mechanisms that can result from it. However, the fact that these characters all share degrees of isolation in common suggests that they are never quite as alone as they believe themselves to be.
By the novel’s end, all these characters have taken steps to lessen their social isolation and are on the path to healthier lives because of it. Matthew, Melody, and Jake begin to solidify their friendships as a trio, a state of affairs that gives all three children newfound confidence and allows them to replace their unhealthy coping behaviors with genuine connections. Old Nina, in advising Matthew not to shut himself away, decides to take her own advice when she joins the community barbeque in the final chapter. The pervasive sense of social renewal at the novel’s end suggests that empathy and human connection are the keys to keeping social isolation and its harmful effects at bay.
