The First Rule of Punk

“I didn’t really believe that six tiny stick figures had magical powers that could take away my worries. Still, I lifted my pillow and lined them up in a row underneath. I turned off the light and climbed into bed. Then I buried my face into the pillow so that Mom wouldn’t hear me crying.”

Malú’s dad gives Malú six worry dolls prior to Malú and her mom leaving for Chicago. The dolls function as means for Malú to alleviate her anxieties. They also remind the reader that Malú is still quite young, and while she wants badly to be more mature and independent, she nonetheless relies on children’s things in moments where the world still seems too large and too intimidating. By the end of the novel, the worry dolls have disappeared from the narrative.

“‘You got your Mexican from your Mom and your punk from me,’ he’d say.”

This quote encapsulates Malú’s bifurcated identity: part of her is Mexican American, and part of her is white. At the novel’s outset, Malú’s punk qualities are aligned with her whiteness, while the Mexican American portion of her identity is aligned with her mom, whom Malú sees as uncool and controlling (although Malú’s mom is the primary caregiver). Much of the novel’s plot centers on Malú’s ability to stitch together these two parts of her identity, making them a singular, unified thing.

“She said it loud enough for the kids around us to hear. She said it like there was something wrong with my name. Like there was something wrong with me.”

Selena Ramirez, on the first day of school, mockingly queries Malú about her full, given name. On the following page, Selena goes on to ask, “What are you? You’re not Mexican, right?” (49). Malú struggles with her identity for much of the book, attempting to deduce how she can bring together or overlap the fact that she’s Mexican American and a punk rocker. Selena, firmly entrenched in her Mexican American identity, consistently chides Malú for not being the same.

“The cafeteria was noisy with kids laughing and talking sometimes in English, sometimes in Spanish, and sometimes in a combination bouncing back and forth between languages. It was strange to hear so much Spanish. Back home I almost never heard it unless Mom spoke it or happened to be listening to something in Spanish.”

José Guadalupe Posada Middle School, as a setting, both mimics Malú’s identity while also disavowing it. It functions as an environment in which Malú can explore and query her Mexican heritage; Malú constructs a family tree for her Spanish class and is generally around a large Latin demographic than she was in Florida. The tradeoff for this is that Posada Middle School, for much of the book, disallows Malú from expressing the punk side of herself: She receives a dress-code violation for wearing a lot of eyeliner on her first day of class, and the Co-Co’s aren’t allowed to play Fall Fiesta because their music doesn’t align with what the school brass see as traditional Mexican cultural performance.

“I watched as she walked up to another girl in our class, her red bun shaking and threatening to topple over as she talked enthusiastically about cafeteria food. Maybe not everyone at Posada was so bad after all.”

Ellie, the band’s drummer, is white and red-headed. She has never played an instrument prior to being asked by Malú to join the Co-Co’s, but quickly takes to the drums and performs well when they play. Ellie is both an activist and an overachiever, and she’s an interesting inclusion in the novel, as she brings both no musical talent and no Mexican heritage to the narrative. Instead, Ellie personifies something Malú’s dad once said to her: “You think that every musician that’s ever lived had formal lessons? If you want to do it, find a way” (137-38). Ellie and Malú align socio-politically: just as Malú is DIY in regard to her zines and the band, Ellie is DIY in regard to changing aspects of the social fabric of school life. A good number of celebrated punk bands harbored members with no formal training whatsoever; instead, these individuals had a torrid desire to voice their beliefs and learned their instruments as a means to an end. Ellie, who perceives herself as an outsider at JGP, finds her people and learns an instrument in the process.

“What’s important is that we keep going. That’s how we survive […] [y]ou keep looking back and you get stuck in the past.”

This is one of the many pieces of sage advice Oralia offers Malú over the course of the novel. In this moment, Malú’s homesick and sad. Oralia imparts some of the wisdom that comes with having lived a full life and raising a precocious daughter. Oralia, in a kind, gentle manner, urges Malú to live in the present and look ahead, as looking backward can only make one static, immobile, and mopey.

“The truth was, back home I always felt like I was the only brown punk in the whole world. Dad understood a lot of things, but I didn’t think he could really understand what that was like.”

Malú begins to pull away from her father as she grows into her own person. Both Joe and Benny, while perhaps overall less punk than Malú, still harbor punk tendencies and are willing to play punk music in her band. Further, Mrs. Hidalgo, with her tattoos and love of punk, functions as a role model and mentor for Malú for much of the book. In finding other “brown punk[s],” Malú locates a community she hasn’t had before, and the role of her father in her life begins to diminish.

“‘Malú, do you think I care that you don’t like cilantro or that you’re a vegetarian?”

‘Of course,’ I said. ‘Because real Mexicans love cilantro and hot sauce on everything. Especially meat.’

‘I don’t expect you to be like me,’ Mom said. ‘I just want you to be proud of who you are. Of everything you are.’

‘I am proud of who I am,’ I said. ‘It’s you who seems to have the problem.’”

This is one of many back-and-forths between Malú and her mom in the novel, exemplifying the very-relatable bickering between a child just coming into adolescence and a mother being unable to be heard by said child. Malú’s mom is concerned she’s not embracing her Mexican heritage enough, but it has nothing to do with superficial things like cilantro, not liking meat, and not liking hot sauce; rather, it has to do with understanding her cultural history. Malú views her mom as uncool and as foisting her heritage onto Malú. Ultimately, the two care about one another very much, and there isn’t really a moment in the book where that love isn’t felt, despite the arguments that arise between mother and daughter.

“I started to pull out the tiny cilantro leaves that were ruining my perfectly good guacamole. If you ever want to torture me, just force-feed me cilantro. Mom jokes that it’s my diluted Mexican genes that make it taste soapy to me.”

As discussed in the Symbols & Motifs section, Malú abhors cilantro, as it tastes like soap to her. This symbolizes Malú’s identity: she’s white and Mexican, and her mom jokes that were Malú fully Mexican, she’d likely enjoy cilantro. While her taste buds don’t change over the course of the novel, her embracing her Mexican roots evolves and grows.

“Anyway, coconuts is supposed to be an insult, right? So we use it our own way and then it isn’t. That’s totally punk rock.”

Selena calls both Joe and Malú “coconuts” multiple times in the novel. This disparaging remark often refers to people with Mexican backgrounds who eschew Mexican culture for something else. Joe’s birth name is José, but he goes by Joe; his dark hair is also dyed blue when Malú meets him. Malú’s birth name is María Luisa, but she doesn’t like to be called such. Malú has no idea what the term “coconut” means until Joe explains it to her. When he does, Malú decides to co-opt the term, altering it and making it the band’s own.

“I thought about Mrs. Hidalgo saying that it was important to know my history. Mom had said the same thing when she was telling me about Posada. But the history Mom was talking about was totally different than the history Mrs. Hidalgo was talking about. Wasn’t it?”

This passage functions as one of Malú’s initial ah-ha moments in regard to synthesizing her Mexican American heritage with her passion for punk rock. Up to this point, she’s supposed that these two portions of her identity are bifurcated and have no way of overlapping or otherwise bleeding into one another. The punk version of Lola Beltrán’s song that the Co-Co’s play will typify the falseness of this.

“At first I felt pretty good about not letting Selena get the best of me, even though my Irish spring joke was kind of corny. But then I started to think about how her mom not letting her dance wasn’t so different from my sneaking around with the band, afraid Mom wouldn’t let me do it if she knew. I understood wanting something badly and feeling disappointed, even if I didn’t get why [Selena] would want to go from one stomping dance to another. It was kind of like how in The Outsiders, Ponyboy and Cherry Valance are from completely different worlds, but they understand each other, at least in some ways. I tried to convince myself that punks don’t feel guilty about giving mean people a taste of their own medicine, but by the time we got home, I felt even crummier about my joke.”

With a nod to the seminal book The Outsiders, Pérez, illustrates that while Selena and Malú may be different in many ways, there also exist similarities between the two girls. Both seek to expand their cultural horizons and find themselves in the process, and both have mothers who are unsupportive of these new interests. By the end of the novel, Selena and Malú understand and appreciate one another more, even if they don’t consider one another to be a friend.

“As I headed to first period, my ears burned with anger at the unfairness of it all. I couldn’t believe we’d been shut out of the talent show for being too loud.”

The powers that be at Posada Middle School, including Principal Rivera, decide that there’s no place for the Co-Co’s at the Fall Fiesta, as the music is too loud, played badly, and doesn’t align with the school’s notion that since it’s the school’s 30th anniversary, the acts that are included should support the cultural history of the school’s namesake. A cover of a Ramones’ song simply doesn’t fit into this idea, and while Joe assures Malú that the auditions are a formality, the school shuts the Co-Co’s out.

“I kept thinking about Mrs. Hidalgo and her anti-homecoming dance idea. How did she ever come up with such a great way to make a point? And wasn’t she afraid of getting in trouble? She must have really believed in what she was doing to take that risk. At the moment she seemed like the bravest person I knew.”

At Sunday dinner, Mrs. Hidalgo recounts throwing an alternative prom when it becomes clear that many of the students at her school can’t afford the mandatory outfits for actual prom. Malú, her band having been denied playing at the Fall Fiesta, homes in on the idea, and, in the process, Mrs. Hidalgo becomes a role model for Malú. It’s through Hidalgo’s recounting of this act that Malú comes up with the idea for the Alterna-Fiesta.

“Maybe we can do a punk version of an old Mexican song […] Principal Rivera wants traditional and family friendly […] [s]o let’s give it to her. But our way.”

This passage functions as set-up for the band performing a punk-rock cover of a Lola Beltrán song. Beltrán is considered one of the most notable singers of ranchera music, which pulls from traditional Mexican folk music and dates back to the early 20th century. In deciding to cover a Beltrán song, Malú embraces her cultural history while retaining her punk rock ideals.

“Could I sing in Spanish? Joe’s question played in my mind on repeat as I walked home. It was really cool the way Ellie had come to my defense, but I wasn’t so sure I believed in me as much as she believed in me. Having to sing in Spanish was kind of a big detail to overlook. It was one thing to say ‘hola’ and another thing to sing an entire song. I thought about what Señora Oralia said about singing along to Beatles songs even though she couldn’t speak English. If she could do that, maybe I could sing in Spanish.”

Once it’s decided that the band will cover Lola Beltrán, Malú comes to the full realization that she’ll have to sing in a language that is not her native one. Oralia learned English through singing Beatles songs when she was young, and here, Malú draws on that fact, attempting to inspire confidence in herself through Oralia’s example.

“We went through the song a few more times. My body felt like a tightly-wound coil, but it wasn’t just nervousness anymore. It was excitement. Each time I sang, the words felt more natural coming out of my mouth. Like me and Spanish might belong together after all if we gave each other a chance.”

Malú’s confidence grows as the band rehearses the song. Readers see, in a singular act and in real time, Malú beginning to overlay her love of punk rock with her Mexican American heritage. This merging is exciting for Malú in that it’s a big step toward her becoming her own, complete person.

“I felt bad as soon as the words came out of my mouth. I realized it was the first time I’d ever thought there was something Dad just couldn’t really help me with.”

Malú’s dad offers to help break the news of the band and their impending performance to Malú’s mom, but Malú refuses the help, saying that Mrs. Hidalgo can do a better job than her dad could. It’s a moment in which Malú grows in independence, through stepping away from the aid of her dad. However, this growth is painful for both of them, with Malú feeling that she’s been a bad daughter in refusing her dad’s help and her dad feeling disappointed that Malú has looked elsewhere for help.

“I was really surprised to hear that. The plan was never to disrupt Fall Fiesta with our talent show. We just wanted to be part of it without being judged.”

Joe leaves a flyer for the Alterna-Fiesta in the library copier, and Selena happens upon it, giving it over to Principal Rivera, who then calls Malú into her office and warns that there will be “consequences” if Malú and the Co-Co’s “disrupt” the Fall Fiesta. This, however, is not Malú’s intention; while she craves space to create and perform what and how she and the band choose to, the performance is meant to foster community and champion independence, as opposed to raining on anyone else’s parade. Malú is taken aback that Rivera sees it differently.

“A picture book about a bird called the quetzal caught my eye. The illustrations showed a little green fuzzy-headed creature. It looked like it had spiked hair—a little punk rock bird. Its long tail feathers were green and turquois, and a bright splash of red feathers covered its breast.”

The quetzal was a vital part of both Mayan and Aztec culture, with nobility wearing the bright tail feathers of the birds in their headdresses, plucking the single feathers and then letting the birds go, so revered were they in the respective cultures. Further, the quetzal is virtually unique among the class and order it’s a part of, and its genealogy remains mysterious even today. It’s unique, important, and very brightly-colored, just as Malú is by the time she performs at the Alterna-Fiesta.

“‘One of us has to be the uncool, mature one,’ she said.”

Later in the book, Malú’s mom stands up for herself in having to consistently choose to be more of an authority figure in Malú’s life, than, say, Mrs. Hidalgo, who can be friendly and a role model but is also not ultimately responsible for Malú’s well-being. Objectively, Malú’s mom has been both allowing and forgiving over the course of the book; while Malú may not see her as such, she actually is a pretty cool mom, with a pretty cool job, who knows a lot about pretty cool stuff. By the end of the book, Malú seems to start to realize this, and the two grow closer.

“I caught our reflection in the glass wall. Joe in his Henry Huggins look, tall Benny with his long hair and trumpet case, Ellie with her army jacket covered in pins, her long red hair sticking out from under her hat, and me. A group of outsider weirdos in matching T-shirts and mariachi hats. We looked ridiculous and amazing at the same time.”

This passage arrives just before the band goes into the auditorium, to watch their classmates perform in the school-backed talent show that is part of the Fall Fiesta. Malú is able to look at her “weirdo” bandmates through of lens of increased objectivity; this is a rare moment, as overall, she believes so staunchly in her punk/DIY aesthetic that for her to admit that the group looks, in part, “ridiculous,” due to the odd combination of mariachi hats and otherwise punk clothing. However, she also offers that the group looks “amazing,” thereby showing a growing self-confidence, and belief that there is indeed a way for her to meld the punk and Mexican portions of her identity.

“I sat down on the curb and thought about why we planned the alternative talent show. Because Principal Rivera excluded us from the Fall Fiesta show for being too loud, and not being good enough for the anniversary show. I thought about it more, and I knew there were other reasons. Reasons that involved Mom and feeling like I could never be who she wanted me to be.”

Further self-analysis here shows Malú questioning her reasons for pushing for the Alterna-Fiesta in the first place, even when other members of the band were skeptical. Here, Malú focuses on feeling that she needs to prove herself in the face of authority figures, including her mom and Principal Rivera. Malú speaks often of feeling like she can’t live up to her mom’s standards, and the two, after the show, have a big talk about this, reconciling and understanding one another’s perspectives a bit more. Malú is a bit of a rebel, but this rebellion stems from a place of good, in which she wants there to be a space for everyone to be heard.