The Color of My Words

“As Mami herself said, there always has to be a first person to do something.” 

This is Ana Rosa’s reflection at the end of Chapter 1, as she begins gathering the strength and inspiration to become a “first person to do something” as a writer. Ana Rosa’s description of “as Mami herself said” is an important illustration of the way that a young person might connect their own ideas and desires to their internal map of family relationships and understandings. Since Mami has said it “herself,” Ana Rosa is more readily able to internalize this idea and bridge it to her own conclusions about what she can and cannot do.

“The empty pages filled with wind and blew up one after the other, showing me all the lovely blank spaces waiting for words.” 

Inside, Ana Rosa is constantly motivated to find a way to use words to tell stories. When she encounters Guario’s empty notebook, which she knows she shouldn’t use, her interest in writing outweighs her knowledge that it’s the wrong thing to write in. This kind of dilemma is characteristic of adolescents, and as Ana Rosa learns her lesson, it is an important illustration for young readers about what it looks like to be accountable to one’s family.

“It was the first time I knew that words could not tell everything.” 

As Ana Rosa gets closer to being more adult in her perspectives, she begins to struggle with the nuances of situations that require being more abstract and less concrete. She begins to understand that words can “not tell everything” and that there are sometimes complicated situations where words won’t be enough to fix things or understand things. This is an important realization at this point in the narrative since later Ana Rosa will have to deal with more traumatic situations and cannot just rely on her ability to talk through things.

“Señor Garcia apologized to me over and over again.” 

When it is discovered that Ana Rosa had actually been correct about seeing the sea monster (a whale) in the ocean, the adults in her life are forced to see that she should not have been dismissed so quickly with her stories. Ana Rosa receives Señor Garcia’s apologies, which are a shift in the way adults treat her. She begins to be taken more seriously as both a participant in the village life as well as a potential storyteller.

“Then Mami, who was usually quiet during these kinds of discussions, spoke up loud and clear. ‘Ana Rosa would be the best person to write a story about the sea monster.’” 

In this moment, Mami appears to have a change of heart about Ana Rosa’s future as a writer. Where previously Mami might have argued against Ana Rosa becoming a writer, Mami now decides it is time to advocate for her daughter to write stories for the public eye. This is an apology of sorts on Mami’s part and has a great effect on Ana Rosa’s confidence.

“The beautiful black-and-white sea monster had helped me to make my dream come true. I loved the whale. And I named him Guario.” 

Just as a young girl from a village becoming a writer is a kind of impossibility in Ana Rosa’s world, so too is a “sea monster” in the ocean next to their village. The existence of the sea monster, which is actually a whale, is a kind of inspirational event that helps Ana Rosa have confidence, much like her brother Guario. To continue the parallel, eventually the whale leaves the bay for bigger waters, just as Guario hopes to eventually move to the United States.

“By the time the fiesta starts, though, Papi’s hair would be in curls all over his head again, each curl springing up separately, a rebellion of his primary African race over his Spanish bloodline.” 

A subtle undertone of the novel is the ways that Lynn Joseph weaves in different aspects of Dominican culture, heritage, and history. In this example, Joseph references the mixed racial and ethnic heritages carried by many people in the Dominican Republic as a result of Spanish colonization and the legacy of slavery. The description of Papi’s hair as rebellious is important as it relates to larger themes of freedom against the government’s control.

“At that moment, my Papi was everything I had always wanted him to be.” 

Ana Rosa’s relationship with her father is complicated. Though she loves and admires his free spirit, she also struggles with his drinking and the subsequent embarrassment when he behaves poorly. After Papi teaches Ana Rosa to dance at the beach, she feels refreshed in her admiration for him, as he helps her connect with her heritage.

“There was just Angela and her slim, perfect dress and I had never seen anyone so lovely.” 

As part of Ana Rosa’s development into a young adult, she spends some time worrying about how she is perceived by others, especially her crush, Angel. On the night of the Christmas fiesta, Ana Rosa sees how beautiful her sister, Angela is, though she expresses some confusion about how and why Angela is so obsessed with performing her femininity. Ana Rosa is forced to realize that Angel and Angela will be a couple, so this is an important image for her to hold: that Angela is “so lovely” when Ana Rosa herself is still young and not viewed as an attractive option for an older boy.

“What I didn’t know was that my own future was galloping toward me like a riderless horse, and with it were a lot of questions that only I could answer.” 

The novel begins approaching the climax, though Ana Rosa is not quite prepared for the changes to come. She is cautiously aware of this, trying to figure out her role in the events happening in the village. Ana Rosa’s burgeoning understanding that there are “questions” she will have to answer foreshadows the complex emotional path she will have to go through to reach a resolution about her own identity and her relationship with her family.

“I knew from nothing I had been told but from everything I could feel that our lives had changed.” 

With Ana Rosa’s growing maturity comes a new capacity to interpret what is happening beyond what she is explicitly told. She begins to take a more nuanced approach to language and words, realizing that many things cannot just be said out loud or explained. Ana Rosa also develops a new ability to watch what other people are going through, rather than just focusing on herself. This development of Ana Rosa’s character is an important aspect of the novel for young readers who might go through similar processes in their own lives.

“If Papi was not my father, then did I still have a family? And what about Guario—was he my brother?” 

These questions, like others that appear later, represent Ana Rosa beginning to parse out the true meaning of identity and family and what these mean to her. To a large extent, this is the true conflict of the novel: Ana Rosa’s processing of her own identity and place in society through her relationships with others. When she realizes that Papi is not her biological father, she must redefine her understanding of family.

“The Spanish said, okay you can have freedom, but what they didn’t realize was Guarocuya had had it all along, it wasn’t something for them to give.” 

This short reference to the Taíno chief Guarocuya has multiple possible meanings in the text. It foreshadows the villagers’ resistance to the government trying to take their land. This story also points to Guario’s specific role as a freedom fighter for his community; it is Guario who is named for Guarocuya. Finally, this is a critical moment where a story, and words, hold great power over Ana Rosa, who is a future storyteller herself.

“Everyone liked the article except for Mami. When she saw it, she started to cry and I knew it was because of those rocks in the river she was afraid of.” 

With more recognition of her skills as a writer comes more danger for Ana Rosa. Mami has clear concerns around this publicity, which she expresses to Ana Rosa in the first chapter; in this moment, Ana Rosa is able to recognize Mami’s fear just by reading Mami’s emotional reaction to the published article that Ana Rosa has written. Although Ana Rosa empathizes with Mami’s tears, she doesn’t seem to be afraid of the “rocks in the river” herself.

“Guario didn’t need a future—he was the future!”

With the government takeover looming on the horizon, Guario takes on a new identity and meaning in his community. He organizes his peers, making pamphlets and speeches to help his community fight back against the government. This transition turns Guario, like Guarocuya before him, into more of a symbol of freedom than an individual person.

“Let’s pray for understanding instead of indifference, friends instead of enemies, generosity instead of selfishness. And most important, words instead of violence.” 

Ana Rosa’s community and family represent all of the positive values in this list, while the government represents all of the negative traits. Ana Rosa has seen her community and family grow in their understanding and care, as well as extending tremendous generosity towards her and others. This is part of what forms her identity as a budding writer, even in the face of violence.

“But even those words didn’t come out. They were trapped inside of me where all my fear lives.” 

Ana Rosa’s self-awareness continues to develop as she processes the violence she witnesses. She identifies her feelings and understand that she is not able to speak because she is afraid. Later, after she spends some time sitting with her emotions after Guario’s death, Ana Rosa continues this internal journey, figuring out how to get out the words that are “trapped” inside of her.

“I looked down at Guario lying on the ground below my gri gri, his arms spread wide like angel wings, and that’s when I knew it was all my fault.” 

Feeling guilt over the death of a loved one is a common feeling, and Joseph illustrates this poignantly in this scene; Ana Rosa blames herself for not shouting down to Guario to warn him. Ana Rosa’s portrayal of Guario as innocent like an “angel” is part of this: it couldn’t be Guario’s fault so therefore it must be her own. Eventually, Ana Rosa will be able to let go of this guilt and move into a healthy processing where she is able to see that government violence caused Guario’s death.

“But there were plenty of words swirling around and around in my head and although I couldn’t see what they were, I saw only a haze of color and the color of my words was red.”

In one of the only actual references to words and colors, Ana Rosa processes her grief with “red” words. The red could be representative of her anger and could also be related to having witnessed the red spreading on Guario’s body as he bled. In either case, Ana Rosa develops a more nuanced perspective on her relationship to words, which aren’t always just for telling stories or describing her life but can also be for understanding and processing emotions.

“But they didn’t realize that it wasn’t theirs to give or to take back. We had it all along and had never given it up—not one inch—because of Guario.”

Though Guario’s death is a significant tragedy, Ana Rosa and her community feel his legacy strongly. Ana Rosa relates this back to the story of Guarocuya, feeling that Guario and the village were able to prove that their freedom had been theirs “all along.” Guario’s transition into a symbol of freedom is cemented through this realization.

“Señora Perez came by and gave me a painting she had painted just for me, she said. It was Guario, with angel wings on his back, sitting at the bottom of my gri gri tree.” 

This interaction with Señora Perez is significant for several reasons. Not only is this an important representation of the meaning that Guario has taken on for the community, but it also shows that Ana Rosa is being taken more seriously by the adults around her. In addition, Señora Perez, who is artistic, is able to see Guario the way that Ana Rosa saw him: like an angel under the gri gri tree. Ana Rosa’s internal narrative and vision is connected more to other members of her community than before.

“A few days before he died, cariño. He told us you must be a writer. And we promised him.” 

Ana Rosa’s family gift her a typewriter for her thirteenth birthday. The gift itself had been proposed and initiated by Guario before he had died, though by the time it is given the rest of her family have all contributed towards the purchase. In this powerful moment, Ana Rosa receives the full support of her family towards becoming a writer.

“You wonder for a moment if Guario is listening, but you know he is because he is your brother and he always will be no matter what.” 

The final section of the novel switches in perspective for a few short pages as Ana Rosa narrates to herself. This particular section, as Ana Rosa names her feeling that Guario will “always” be listening and there for her, is an important emotional resolution of her grief and guilt that she had previously held inside. Her “wonder” about whether he is listening reflect some of the past conflict she has had.