The Code of the Woosters

The three telegrams are from Gussie Fink-Nottle, whose engagement to Madeline Bassett was celebrated at Wooster’s flat just the previous night. With increasing urgency, they demand Wooster’s presence at Totleigh Towers, Sir Watkyn Bassett’s country house in Gloucestershire, to help repair a “serious rift” between Gussie and his fiancée. For Wooster and Jeeves, this is “disturbing” news because if Madeline has broken with Gussie, Wooster is next in line: He has always been too chivalrous to correct her misapprehension about his “love” for her. Another little matter is Watkyn’s belief that Wooster is a professional thief. Wooster fires off a telegram explaining the rift between Bassett and himself, and Gussie responds that he’ll get Madeline to issue him a formal invitation. The next day, her invitation arrives, lamenting the “needless pain” that the sight of her will inflict on his broken heart. In addition, he receives a telegram from Madeline’s cousin, Stephanie “Stiffy” Byng, an old acquaintance of his, cryptically stating that she needs him to do something “very important” for her at Totleigh Towers.

Jeeves answers the doorbell, and Aunt Dahlia barrels in. She, too, has an urgent task for Wooster at Totleigh Towers. The underhanded Sir Watkyn, she says, has outmaneuvered her husband, buying the very cow creamer he had his eye on, after first incapacitating him with large helpings of cold lobster. She demands that her nephew steal the cow creamer during his visit to Watkyn’s estate—otherwise, he’ll never again be a guest at her table. Wooster, who looks forward to Anatole’s cooking as to few things in life, agrees, knowing that she has him over a barrel.

When Wooster and Jeeves arrive at Totleigh Towers, the butler informs them that Sir Watkyn is out for a walk with Roderick Spode, the sharp-eyed “gorilla” whom Wooster remembers from the antique store debacle. Spode’s presence, he knows, will make the theft of the creamer infinitely more difficult. He decides to waste no time, and, telling the butler that he would like to “potter about,” slips into a small drawing room that glitters with silver. However, no sooner does he locate the cow creamer and get his hands on it than he hears a shout (“Hands up!”) from the window. It’s Roderick Spode, aiming a shotgun at his heart.

Roderick Spode calls for Sir Watkyn, and the former judge instantly recognizes Wooster as the “bag-snatcher” who, just the previous day, tried to “steal” the very same cow creamer. Luckily, his daughter Madeline arrives, and, with her support, Wooster tortuously explains the many misunderstandings of the antique store incident and how he came to be in the Bassett house—omitting, of course, his aunt’s designs on the cow creamer. Unexpectedly, Spode gives him a little boost by admitting to having once stolen a police officer’s helmet himself in his student days. All throughout Wooster’s explanation, however, Watkyn feints and jabs like a prosecutor, chipping away at every claim; and when Madeline tells him, innocently, that Wooster’s uncle is noted silver collector Tom Travers, his eyes narrow suspiciously. As soon as he can get away, Wooster telegrams Aunt Dahlia that stealing the cow creamer is now completely off the table.

Once alone with the misty-eyed Madeline, who sighs a bit over his quixotic “love” for her, Wooster turns the conversation to her “rift” with Gussie Fink-Nottle. She laughs and explains that it was all a silly misunderstanding: She saw Gussie removing a fly from the eye of her cousin, Stiffy Byng, and thought it was something more. Not only have they reconciled, she says, but her love for him is stronger than ever, partly because of his new self-confidence. This strikes an ominous chord in Wooster, who, at the recent bachelor party, was astounded by Gussie’s cocksure (and perfectly sober) delivery of a long speech. Something has changed with Gussie, whose extreme shyness always made him something of a joke in Wooster’s circle. Bertie sees more evidence of this just minutes later, when, wandering the house, he catches Gussie speaking sharply to the hulking Spode. This new “self-confidence,” Wooster thinks, would do Mussolini proud. Once alone with Gussie, Wooster learns from him that Aunt Dahlia will soon be arriving—undoubtedly, he thinks, to get her hands on the cow creamer.

Increasingly perplexed by Gussie’s brusque, not to say abusive, new manner, Wooster asks him what has happened. Jeeves, it turns out, is partly responsible. A week earlier, nervous about having to deliver a speech at his wedding breakfast, Gussie turned to Wooster’s sagacious valet, who advised him to “cultivate a lofty contempt” (60) for the people who would be listening to him. Accordingly, for the past week, Gussie has made a study of his acquaintances’ contemptible flaws and failings (including Wooster’s), recording them all in a small notebook for easy reference. This has been especially useful, he says, in asserting himself against Sir Watkyn and Roderick Spode, neither of whom approve of his engagement to Madeline. Spode, he says, is in love with Madeline himself, but can’t marry because he’s saving himself for a bigger prize: to be England’s first fascist dictator. (He’s the leader of the Saviors of Britain, otherwise known as the “Black Shorts.”) Spode regards himself as Madeline’s savior as well, or at least, her knight-like protector. Because of Watkyn’s and Spode’s power to intimidate him, Gussie has been extra diligent in cataloguing their many flaws. Wooster, shocked to hear that he has written down all of these personal insults, asks him where he keeps the notebook. In his breast pocket, Gussie says—and then notices, with mild surprise, that the notebook is missing.