The Art of Love

The Art of Love, or the Ars Amatoria, is a didactic poem—one that instructs the reader in seduction. The speaker of the poem is the poet himself, Ovid. He mentions his own name several times—e.g., “Ovid” (Book 2, Line 744)—and identifies himself as male. In the first two books, Ovid writes to members of his own gender, while the third book offers advice to women.

In Book 1, Ovid introduces himself to his audience, men who are inexperienced in love. The man who “knows not the lover’s art” (Book 1, Line 1) should read Ovid’s guide because Ovid has been blessed by Venus, the Roman goddess of love: “For young Love’s guide has Venus chosen me” (Book 1, Line 7). This establishes his credibility as coming from a divine source, which is meant to persuade the reader to listen to him. Additionally, Ovid identifies himself as “Love’s charioteer” (Book 1, Line 8). Chariots symbolize victory, so this image of Ovid driving the chariot of love shows his control over his subject matter. Similarly, boat imagery develops the idea of Ovid as a guide: Love is “art that speeds the boat” (Book 1, Line 3). Ovid’s goal is to teach the reader the art of seduction.

Ovid clearly outlines his first theme, How to Find, Catch, and Keep a Woman, in the second stanza. He outlines what is to come:

To find an object worthy of his suit

Is the first duty of the new recruit:

The next is to gain the chosen damsel’s ‘yea’,

The last, to keep her love for many a day (Book 1, Lines 35-38).

This structure of previewing the main points frequently appears at the beginning of academic nonfiction pieces. Finding and catching a woman, or seeking out a romantic partner, is compared to a hunt in a metaphor that begins with the line, “The hunter learns where stags are to be snared” (Book 1, Line 45). Ovid’s ideal male lover is a predator and women are prey. Referring to women as objects and animals illustrates Ovid’s sexism—though the simplicity of this reading is often subverted in the text.

Ovid pairs the symbolic with the practical. Metaphoric hunting for love should occur in very real places around Rome. For instance, both Book 1 and Book 3 list the same locations, including the theater and the racetrack—both ideal locations because you can easily exchange love notes with and sit next to women there. Ovid’s discussion of finding a romantic partner in the theater utilizes an example of Romulus and his men assaulting Sabine women in a theater. Ovid is alluding to, or referencing, Roman historian Livy with his story of the “captive brides” (Book 1, Line 125)—the legend that the founders of Rome kidnapped the women of another community and forced them to be their wives. Here, as in other places throughout the poem, Ovid insists that love should be dangerous and painful—though his insistence on the importance of consent and the idea that this pain should be playful undercuts the reference to the Sabine women with a wink at sexual practices modern readers would recognize as bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism (BDSM).

Other locations for finding a woman to woo include gladiator matches, the arcade, and processionals (parades) for Caesar. The gladiator ring, more so than the theater, is a dangerous place. However, the real danger is falling in love—being hit with Cupid’s dart—and becoming “an item in the show” (Book 1, Line 70). The inclusion of the processional allows Ovid an opportunity to praise Caesar—something key for all authors publishing in first century Rome. It is also one of many places where Ovid suggests lying (in this case, making up answers to a woman’s questions about who is in the processional), a dig that slyly hints that his laudatory commentary about Augustus should possibly not be taken at face value. Another location is a “festive board” (Book 1, Line 229), or dinner party. Here, and in Book 3, Ovid suggests that Cupid, the god of love, and Bacchus, the god of wine, are a good pair—in other words, mild inebriation will loosen inhibitions and allow for more pointed flirting. After listing these, and other, “hunting grounds” (Book 1, Line 253), Ovid turns his attention to the second part of the theme: how to keep a woman.

In Stanza 11, Ovid turns his attention to flirting and other aspects of courtship. He asserts that “all women can be won” (Book 1, Line 269). Both Ovid and modern pickup artists operate under the idea that a woman who initially says no can be convinced to say yes. Ovid uses allusions to myth to support his claim—which is the progressive for his time idea that women have strong sexual urges and aren’t simply the passive recipients of male desire. His examples of the mythic Byblis and Pasiphae, who had incestuous or bestial desires, are meant to show that women are not dainty or sexless. The tangent that includes these examples, as well as other women with problematic desires, mirrors the tangent about Romulus and the Sabine women. Ovid gets distracted from overt teachings about love to tell different stories from myth or history.

In Stanza 12, Ovid returns to offering practical advice, continuing the theme of How to Find, Catch, and Keep a Woman. He discusses working with a woman’s maid as a go-between. This woman understands her employer’s moods and schedule. Like location, timing is important in courtship. For instance, a woman is easier to woo when she is “well pleased with life” (Book 1, Line 359), or when a rival has upset her. Then, Ovid reveals more about his audience: Men who are inexperienced, but want to have multiple lovers. Ovid says, “Should one, you ask, seduce the maid as well?” (Book 1, Line 375). The second-person “you” here refers to men who want to have a secret affair with a second woman. Ovid initially advises against this, but then reveals he is not opposed to having multiple lovers. If you must have both, he says, then pursue the mistress first and maid second—an order that preserves class hierarchy and thus will ruffle fewer feathers.

Stanza 13 develops the idea of timing. Ovid warns against calling on a woman on her birthday or other gift-giving occasions. This hints at what Ovid states outright in Book 2—his audience is men who are not rich. Later, he says, “The poor man’s bard am I” (Book 2, Line 165) because the rich do not need artistry to win love—they can use their cash to smooth their way to romance. Here, in Book 1, he says you should “ban any day when giving’s in the air” (Book 1, Line 418), or do not pursue a woman on a gift-giving occasion, as way of avoiding needing to shell out for expensive presents. Ovid builds upon the idea of giving in Stanza 14, arguing that in his letters, a man should seem like he is about to give gifts very soon.

Stanzas 14 and 15 focus on a theme that Ovid does not preview: The Art of Writing—a fitting theme for a poet aspiring to fame and status. Love letters were an important aspect of courtship for hundreds of years. Instead of typing up a text reply, Romans would use a “waxed tablet” (Book 1, Line 437). Wax tablets looked somewhat like modern electronic tablets, but use wax for writing into and on top of. The wax could thus keep the impression of previous writings, if not smoothed with sufficient care between uses. Written on these tablets, love letters should contain “language plain and speech of the common folk, / Yet coaxing, as though in the flesh you spoke” (Book 1, Lines 467-68). This is similar to English poet William Wordsworth’s advice about poetry—that it should use the language of the common man. Ovid suggests using poetic techniques to seduce a woman. Other pieces of advice about writing letters include using strong rhetoric (argumentation) and avoiding being tedious (going on for too long).

Stanza 16 develops some of the ideas about location, bringing together the first two aspects of the theme How to Find, Catch, and Keep a Woman. The places where women are found are places where you can arrange a meet-cute, or an excuse for running into each other.

In Stanza 17, Ovid focuses on appearance. He advocates for good hygiene, but against being overly styled. Heterosexual men—his intended audience—should be like “Rustic Adonis” (Book 1, Line 512). Ovid points out that men in search of women partners want to appear to others as straight rather than gay; his advice is to avoid the stereotypical grooming techniques of gay men, such as using “curling tongs” (Book 1, Line 505), or beauty aids—getting your hair trimmed neatly is enough.

Stanzas 18 and 19 describe how wine can assist a man in his romantic pursuit of a woman. Bacchus is the god of wine—he “calls us; he’s Love’s ally” (Book 1, Line 525). The “us” here refers to Ovid and his male audience. Ovid goes off on a tangent about another myth: Ariadne being betrayed by Theseus, then wedding Bacchus. In a moment of self-deprecating humor, Ovid notes that love is “so easy for a god” (Book 1, Line 562). Humans, on the other hand, need to work at it. This foreshadows moments later in the poem where Ovid reveals his own troubles with love. After his tangent about the Theseus myth, Ovid offers more practical advice, such as whispering to a woman at a party, befriending her date, pretending to be drunker than you are, as well as dancing or singing. Acting, which is a form of lying, is encouraged—though lying can work on the liar himself, as a man may even fall in love with a woman he at first only pretends to love.

In Stanzas 20 and 21, Ovid develops the idea of lying as it relates to How to Find, Catch, and Keep a Woman. Jove, the king of the gods, cheats on his wife, Juno, and he wants humans to emulate him. This allusion to myth is one way Ovid justifies the sexist claims that he makes. He argues for being honest in all dealings except romance: “Women alone the wise may safely cheat” (Book 1, Line 643). This is because most women are sinful and deceptive. Tears can be faked, if they are helpful to your pursuit of love. Furthermore, Ovid argues that kisses can be forced on women, because women secretly want to be kissed and enjoy shows of power. This sexist claim unfortunately persists among modern pickup artists who are not interested in enthusiastic verbal consent. Ovid supports his claim by providing examples from myth of women enjoying unwanted pursuit, such as Phoebe and Helen.

In Stanza 22, Ovid returns to the topic of appearance, connecting paleness with being in love. He uses the imagery of tanned sailors and farmers to contrast pale lovers—a juxtaposition that evokes class differences, suggesting that Ovid’s readership, while not rich, is also not working class. One must outwardly appear to be in love, which is indicated by not only paleness, but also looking “miserable” (Book 1, Line 737). Ovid warns against bragging to your friends about the woman you are seeing, and supports this with various allusions. Friends can be more of a danger to your relationship than enemies. This adds to the imagery of love as a game or competition.

In the last two stanzas of Book 1, Ovid uses fishing symbolism. The various methods used to woo various women are metaphorically represented by various hunting methods. For example, he says, “Some fish are speared, by hooks are others caught, / Some brought to land in trawls with cables taut” (Book 1, Line 763-64). This develops Ovid’s nautical imagery and inspires our modern idiom of referring to potential romantic partners as fish (e.g., the modern dating website Plenty ‘O Fish). The final lines of Book 1 continue the nautical imagery. Since there is still more to teach men in Book 2, Ovid tells readers not to set out on their quest for love just yet: “[S]tay the barque and drop the anchor-chains” (Book 1, Line 772). A barque is a ship that could be fished from, building on the previous lines—though this old-fashioned word is not really indicative of Ovid’s typically contemporary diction, but is this particular translator’s choice. Also, the ship symbolizes the journey that the speaker and reader are on.

Book 2

The beginning of Book 2 continues the ship imagery, connecting the two parts of The Art of Love. The first stanza returns to “our barque mid-ocean ploughs” (Book 2, Line 9). Here, as in the previous book, the ship symbolizes the journey through Ovid’s poem. Ovid also develops the theme of the Art of Writing by acknowledging his debt to the great poets “Hesiod and Homer” (Book 2, Line 4). Ovid offers a reading list to improve your writing alongside pragmatic advice about love.

He previews the main topic of Book 2: “My art must safeguard what my art has caught” (Book 2, Line 12). In other words, he is focusing on the third part of the theme How to Find, Catch, and Keep a Woman. His audience, here, is men who have already started a relationship.

Ovid stated in the first stanza that his goal is to “tell what arts can stay / The flight of Love, that world-wide runaway” (Book 2, Lines 18-19). The second and third stanzas include a retelling of the myth of Daedalus and Icarus to demonstrate a problematic escape, the kind the reader should try to avoid. Icarus fails in his flight, navigating his wings too close to the sun, while escaping Minos. This allusion connects the mythic with the didactic: Ovid’s advice is about controlling Cupid, the god of love. He assures the reader that his ability to “enchain” (Book 2, Line 97) love surpasses Minos’ ability to imprison Icarus.

Ovid does not advocate using magic, but instead aspires to teach his readers how to embody the “charm you need” (Book 2, Line 107) instead. Charm is mental prowess, not simply physical beauty. Developing your mind is important if you want to keep a woman’s interest. For example, Ulysses “shone in speech but looks he lacked” (Book 2, Line 123)—but despite this, many mortal and divine women found him irresistible. Charm should also keep emotions in check. Unattractive emotions, such as anger, are associated with hawks and wolves; to be charming, one should demonstrate the gentleness of swallows and turtle-doves: “On gentle words must tender love be nursed” (Book 2, Line 152). Words—in the Art of Writing as well as romance—represent emotions. Words should “charm the ear” (Book 2, Line 159), or have a pleasing sound.

Having strong language skills is synonymous with mental prowess, argues Ovid. This insistence that words will not fade like beauty is another metafictional allusion to Ovid’s own art—he is teaching men the craft that he displays in the writing of this poem. Here, the Art of Writing almost completely overlaps with How to Find, Catch, and Keep a Woman: A good writer will have more romantic success than someone who is not a good writer. A large part of being a good writer is being familiar with famous works of literature and using them as offhand references the way Ovid does.

The fourth stanza, in addition to offering advice about how to keep a woman, clarifies the class of Ovid’s audience, building on the juxtaposition of his readers with sailors and farmers in Book 1. Again, Ovid differentiates between the rich, who do not need education or charm to woo, and men like him—the erudite and well-born poor. His audience is not men who can woo women by buying expensive gifts, but those who have to rely more heavily on language: “Not to the rich these rules of love I preach” (Book 2, Line 161). He assures his audience that he is also impoverished with an anecdote about a woman who claimed he tore her dress and made him buy her a new one. This put a financial strain on Ovid.

In the fifth stanza, Ovid advises that patience and submission are ways to keep a lover. He describes a power dynamic that privileges a woman over a man: “[P]lay whatever part she bids you play” (Book 2, Line 198). In other words, a man should perform for a woman and do her bidding, treating her as the dominant partner. Various examples of this include pretending to lose games, which puts her in the position of the victor and ruler. Ovid also repeats advice from Book 1 about offering her a footstool. This repetition emphasizes that men should serve at the feet of women. Ovid justifies allowing a woman to “give orders” (Book 2, Line 202) with an example from Greek mythology. King Eurystheus of Tiryns—the man who assigned the labors to Hercules—allowed Antimache to rule over him. Therefore, Ovid’s audience should be willing to do the same, secure in the knowledge that legally and culturally, they wield much more power than women.

Stanza 6 introduces the idea of relationships as adversarial combat: “Love is a warfare” (Book 2, Line 233), an idea that clashes with previous suggestion that a man submit to a woman’s whims or that enthusiastic consent is ideal in sexual intimacy. This long-lived concept of war can be seen in Guillaume de Lorris’s Romance of the Rose, which was written in the early 1200s. De Lorris not only equates love with combat, but he also calls love both suffering and a battle. Ovid describes the suffering that is part of love’s campaign, including bad weather and darkness. Suffering and bravery demonstrate your love—”it’s love’s surest proof” (Book 2, Line 248).

In the seventh, eighth, and ninth stanzas, Ovid continues to offer money-saving tips for his audience of lower class men. Tipping house staff to gain access to your lover “won’t be much to pay” (Book 2, Line 255), and greeting them “costs you nothing” (Book 2, Line 253). Having a person with keys on your side will help you access your lover, which is important if you want to keep her. You can also save money by granting her a “boon you’d give in any case” (Book 2, Line 292). In other words, if you are already spending money on something, find a way to make your expense a gift to your lover.

This avenue of thought turns into a sexist rant about how most women only care about money: “love is bought and sold” (Book 2, Line 279). Ovid sets up poetry in opposition to money—most women want the latter rather than the former. Ovid jokes that the Art of Writing is not as helpful as expensive gifts. For example Homer, despite being such a famous Greek poet, would not be successful with the Roman women of Ovid’s era if he was poor. Bitter at the ease with which the rich move through the world, Ovid snarks that a love of poetry indicates that a person part of a rare and prized elite: The few women who love poetry as much as expensive gifts “are cultured / [or] wish they were” (Book 2, Lines 280-81). These women want to have a reputation for appreciating art.

Ovid’s advice in Stanza 10 shows another way to apply poetry to love. Flattery is a key element of courtship, and this tactic in only a few degrees removed from love poetry. Ovid’s examples, such as praising her hair and “Her dancing limbs” (Book 2, Line 305), have been seen in many love poems through the ages. In fact, so many poems praising women’s fair hair were written before Shakespeare’s era that he wrote Sonnet 130 to make fun of the poetic convention: “If hair be wires, black wires grow on her head” (Line 4). Ovid argues that writers and lovers are allowed to lie. However, you must keep the fact that your flattery overpraises a secret because “Guile helps when hidden” (Book 2, Line 313). Overt lying will not help you.

In Stanza 11, Ovid discusses how much attention will keep your lover around, with a focus on playing hard to get or being strategically withholding—advice normally reserved for women, who are generally socialized to be coy and not admit attraction or desire. Ovid recommends that men pay lavish attention at the beginning of a relationship and during other times, such as when a woman is ill. After you thus “get her used to you” (Book 2, Line 345), be sure to take time apart. Ovid uses farming imagery—resting fields—to describe the benefits of giving your lover space: It will result in a greater “yields” (Book 2, Line 351)—a felicitous translation that puns on the yields of crops and yielding in a romantic sense. Ovid’s original poem, written in Latin, includes many puns and other humorous devices (though of course the joke about “yield” is not one of them—that pun only works in English). He supports his claim with allusions to mythological women who longed for their traveling lovers, like Laodamia and Phyllis. However, you shouldn’t stay away too long. Ovid blames the too-long absence of Menelaus for Helen’s infidelity.

Stanzas 12 and 13 discuss how to conduct affairs and still keep your original lover. Ovid uses allusions to mythological women exacting revenge for their male partners cheating, such as Medea’s vicious retribution on the unfaithful Jason—killing their children. Ovid also uses animal imagery to describe a woman angered by an affair, comparing her to an “asp” (Book 2, Line 376). Thus, to avoid payback for your affairs, he suggests men “draw a veil” (Book 2, Line 389) over their infidelities. In other words, make sure your affairs are secret. Specific methods to avoid detection include checking your wax tablets for impressions from letters to multiple women. This layering of words over each other is referred to as a palimpsest, a favorite image of poets.

As is often the case in this work, Ovid contradicts himself in Stanzas 12 and 13. Initially, he suggests that you “deny the whole affair” (Book 2, Line 410). Then, he—acknowledging that he is changing his mind—advises you to “confess your secrets” (Book 2, Line 428) instead. Ovid argues that there is a prudent way to let slip the presence of a romantic rival—this allows you to use jealousy to keep your lover interested. In this argument, Ovid returns to the symbols of the chariot and ship. A sailor and a charioteer navigating rough terrain must often change directions—just as Ovid’s advice does. An affair offers clear benefits: Your partner’s jealousy can demonstrate how much emotion they have invested in you; additionally, confession of the affair can lead to makeup sex.

Stanza 14 is a tangent about sex being natural. Ovid traces the physical expression of desire from the creation of the world to the first man pursuing the first woman. For them, the “joyous function love untutored knew” (Book 2, Line 80): They did not need to be taught how to love. Ovid then includes a list of animals, including birds, ewes, and cows, all of which engage in natural and shame-free sex. The list, or catalog, is poetic device found in many poems, especially those medieval romances that directly descend from Ovid. Ovid uses this pastoral passage—one that idealizes nature—to argue in favor of makeup sex after affairs.

In Stanza 15, Ovid moves from the earthly to the divine. Phoebus, also known as Apollo—the god of poetry and the sun—supports Ovid’s claims about How to Find, Catch, and Keep a Woman. Ironically for a didactic poem, Phoebus warns against using “lectures” (Book 2, Line 507). Both Ovid and Phoebus advise knowing your strengths and using them in courtship, such as accentuating your best features. Phoebus argues against reading “crazy verse” (Book 2, Line 508), another comic line from a god who rules over poetry in a book written as a poem.

Stanzas 16, 17, and 18 warn the reader about the pain that love brings, particularly the difficulty of enduring “the cruel fair” (Book 2, Line 527). The unkind mistress—typically one who withholds affection—is a poetic figure used extensively by the Italian poet Petrarch in his sonnet sequence. The cruelty that Ovid focuses on is infidelity: Finding out that a woman is having an affair can be deeply painful for the lover she is cheating on, as Ovid knows from personal experience. Interestingly—and again in contrast to some of the sexist messaging in the rest of the book—Ovid puts little blame on the cheater, and instead advises readers to simply accept and forgive infidelity. He hopes the reader will succeed where he failed in his own romantic life: “Bear with your rival” (Book 2, Line 539). In other words, accept that being cheated on is a painful, but unavoidable, part of love. The admission of his own failures hints that Ovid did not react with equanimity when cheated on himself, so this suggestion to take cheating in stride is more wishful thinking than easily applicable instruction. Ovid warns, “Set you no traps for rivals” (Book 2, Line 595). He supports this idea with a mythological allusion to Vulcan setting a trap for Venus and Mars.

Stanzas 19 and 20 focus on what shouldn’t be said or seen. Ovid believes “babbling secrets is the worst of sins” (Book 2, Line 604), and supports this with an allusion to the myth of Tantalus, who revealed the secrets of the gods with whom he was allowed to dine to other mortals—and was thereafter punished with one of the most famous of the apt torture methods in Hades. Venus herself advocates for secrecy about love affairs, and for modesty. Other things must stay hidden to preserve the appeal of the human body, which always flaws. Direct sunlight is not flattering, so one should seek to have sex in low light. Ovid supports this claim by arguing that even the “simple tribesmen” (Book 2, Line 624) that lived before the Roman empire would keep their bodies out of direct sunlight by having sex in caves and forests. If you see a woman’s flaws, you should not talk about them or flatter her. This can include using euphemisms, such as “buxom” (Book 2, Line 661) for someone overweight. Ovid’s discussion of flattering diction can also be applied to the Art of Writing.

In Stanza 21, Ovid discusses age, developing this idea with farming, sailing, and martial imagery that portrays older women in a positive light—another surprising turn for modern readers accustomed to the stereotype that only young women are sexually appealing. For Ovid, the experience that comes with several successful sexual relationships is a strong positive: Older women are a “fruitful field” (Book 2, Line 668), and lovers should cleave this “sea with oars” (Book 2, Line 71). Ovid personally prefers older women: “My glass the old ancestral brand I shall fill” (Book 2, Line 696), comparing older women to finely aged alcohol. Unlike his inability to tolerate his romantic rival, this is a moment where Ovid suggests doing what he does (rather than just what he says).

Stanza 22 focuses on sex, which is crucial to the third part of the theme How to Find, Catch, and Keep a Woman. The explicit instructions offered here may well have been part of what eventually caused Augustus Caesar to exile the poet. Ovid suggests using your hands during foreplay: “[F]ingers find their function in those parts” (Book 2, Line 707); furthermore, exploring a woman’s genitalia in this way will allow you to find the “parts a woman loves to have caressed” (Book 2, Line 719). Ovid argues that this technique was used by Hector and Achilles, using mythological allusions to support his claims. Also, Ovid advocates for simultaneous orgasm: “Together reach the goal” (Book 2, 727). Advocating for and insisting on the importance of female pleasure is another subversively feminist act for Ovid writing in a culture that valorized women’s chastity, virginity, and sexual passivity.

In Stanzas 23 and 24, Ovid concludes Book 2 and his advice for men. He uses martial imagery here, claiming to have armed men for love like Vulcan armed Achilles for battle. Ovid also compares his knowledge of love to the talents of mythological warriors, such as Achilles. Ovid wants his male students to cite him when they win at love: “‘Pupil of Ovid’ on your trophies write” (Book 2, Line 744). However, the last lines humorously upend this triumphant imagery with the declaration that women will also not go into the battle unarmed and untutored: In the final lines of Book 2, Ovid previews Book 3, which is for women instead of men.

Book 3

In Book 3, Ovid switches to the theme Advice for Women. They too need to be equipped as fighter, so Ovid continues his martial imagery: He needs to “arm Penthesilea’s band” (Book 3, Line 2). Penthesilea is an Amazon, or female warrior. Female warriors come up frequently in the Arthurian romances that Ovid partially inspires, such as the female knights Bradmante and Marfisa in the Italian poem Orlando Furioso (1591). Ovid notes that helping women is somewhat controversial. He counters his critics’ arguments about aiding enemy forces with examples of virtuous mythological women, contrasting bad women such as Helen with faithful ones like Penelope (these are two most famous women on either side of the Trojan War, which began when Helen ran off with Paris and ended when Odysseus returned from 10 years of luckless travel to find Penelope still waiting for him). Ovid declares that painting all women with the same broad brush of stereotype is unproductive: “Lay not a handful’s crime on all the race” (Book 3, Line 9), referring to women as a race.

Ovid wants his Advice for Women to mirror his message to men: Venus, aware of his other books, has commanded him to write this one. To cement this parallelism, Ovid uses repetition of imagery and structure. As in previous books, Ovid uses a ship, or “barque” (Book 3, Line 26) to symbolize the journey through his poem. Likewise, to echo his approach in the earlier books, his first move here is to connect the divine with the practical. Women should emulate Venus in her desire for romance and sex, specifically seen in the story of her relationship with the mortal Adonis. Since “time slides along so fast” (Book 3, Line 65), you (a woman) should seize the day before you become old—instructions that mirror how Ovid advocates for men taking chances on love.

Just as he did for men, Ovid spends several stanzas discussing appearance in his Advice for Women. He begins by contrasting the urbane culture of Rome with that of previous eras, when “life was rude and plain” (Book 3, Line 113). Changes in the architecture of famous locations illustrates this contrast. Ovid prefers the mores of his own time—”it’s just the age for me” (Book 2, Line 122)—because he values refinement, such as dressing chic rather than flashy. In a practical sense, this means that women should avoid wearing earrings and clothes that are obviously expensive, like those made of “Tyrian purple double-dyed” (Book 3, Line 170) fabric. Because dyes were made from natural materials during Ovid’s time, it was the color rather than the styling of clothing that marked it as ostentatiously luxurious. In any case, you should find a color that compliments your hair color, rather than buying whatever is the most expensive.

Ovid spends many lines discussing beauty products in The Art of Love—a topic he has written about in another guide, Cosmetics for Ladies, which he promotes here as a kind of upsell. Ovid argues for personalizing your look: filling in eyebrows, choosing hairstyles that flatter your face shape, and tinting graying hair with “Dutch shampoo” (Book 3, Line 163). You should “Consult your glass for what becomes you best” (Book 3, Line 136) rather than simply getting the same fashionable hairstyle as everyone else.

Makeup thus becomes a creative endeavor comparable to the Art of Writing. Both are about the final result—just as you wouldn’t let anyone read messy drafts of your writing, so “beauty’s aids should ne’er be shown” (Book 3, Line 218). Ovid argues that both writing and makeup should appear easily created, almost carelessly thrown together—your seemingly effortless approach will thus reveal you to be a kind of intuitive genius. This pretense would eventually become formally known as sprezzatura, an Italian term for creation that gives the impression of being carefree and unplanned, valorizing the idea that no one should show how difficult something is to create: “Why show the crude design?” (Book 3, Line 228).

The discussion of beauty aids clarifies Ovid’s audience for Book 3. He addresses “the common run of plain and fair, / But mostly plain” (Book 3, Lines 255-56) women. The average-looking Roman woman is contrasted with stunning mythological figures, such as Helen and Leda, who do not need Ovid’s help in love. This mirrors Ovid’s discussion of class in the previous books. Rich men and beautiful women have an easy time getting and keeping a romantic partner. Just as he suggests ways for men to appear richer and more generous than they really are, so too does Ovid include ways for women to appear more beautiful: body positioning and using clothing to flatter your body type.

In the sixth and seventh stanzas, Ovid turns his attention to the attractiveness of behavior. At all times, women should be aware of what they look like—even during emotional extremes. His readers may be surprised to hear that laughing and crying need to be done with an eye to beauty: “Where will art end?” (Book 3, Line 291). Ovid recommends laughing daintily, walking in a manner that does not seem too “studied” (Book 3, Line 301) or rustic, and learning musical skills such as dancing, singing, and playing an instrument. Ovid includes mythological allusions in his discussion of these arts, such as the power of the Sirens’ song and Orpheus’ lyre—both famous for accomplishing extreme feats of allure.

In Stanzas 8 and 9, Ovid turns to women’s intellectual and academic accomplishments—another fairly progressive idea at a time when women did not have the opportunity for formal schooling and were not expected to aspire to scholarship. Ovid compiles a reading list that includes the poet Sappho, a Greek woman known for her love of women “whom all wantonness inspires” (Book 3, Line 331); Callimachus, a famously erudite and sophisticated poet; and of course Homer. Becoming well-read will make you more attractive, Ovid argues, in a subversion of gender expectations of his time. This stanza also develops the theme of the Art of Writing. Part of Ovid’s reason for suggesting women become educated is to spur his own fame: Ovid longs to be as famous as the authors he recommends, praying to Phoebus, Bacchus, and the nine muses for literary success. To round out their intellectual accomplishments, Ovid lists various games that women should learn to play, like chess, a game of martial strategy, and dice, which is all about statistics and math. He argues that “love’s oft engendered at a game” (Book 3, Line 368)—tabletop game playing is a good pickup spot.

Stanza 10 picks up this new topic, listing other locations that are good for meeting potential romantic partners—basically the same list he has already offered to men: the arcade, the theater, and the gladiator ring. Overall, women need to be seen in public to inspire poets, since, “What seeks the sacred poet else than fame?” (Book 3, Line 403). In other words, poets offer immortality and fame to romantic partners—an amusingly self-serving point from a poet interested in finding more romantic partners. To further clarify that this tangent is self-referential, Ovid complains that poets are not as respected as they used to be: “ancient singers earned a lavish meed; / In reverence high was held the name of bard” (Book 3, Lines 406-07). Singers and poets are used interchangeably here, due to the oral nature of poetry. He then returns to the original point: Being out in public increases a woman’s chances of meeting a partner. A woman can even find a lover at a funeral. As with his male audience, Ovid uses hunting as a metaphor for searching for love. Going out in public is like fishing or hunting deer.

Ovid cautions women to avoid men who are too elegantly dressed—a neat counterpoint to his warning to men that being overly groomed marks a man as gay, inferior, or just as straight-out thief. A man who wears perfume, “a suit of finest texture weaved / And rings on every finger be deceived” (Book 3, Lines 445-46). This stereotype is the old sexist saw that excessive love of clothes and beauty is both feminine and negative. This can be compared to Ovid’s advice about women’s fashions in Stanza 3: The overly fine fabric of the man’s suit corresponds to the woman’s purple dress, and the rings on the man’s fingers correspond to the woman’s “costly baubles” (Book 3, Line 128).

Stanza 12 complements advice about the Art of Writing that Ovid offered to men in Book 1, Stanza 15. Both sections recommend using conversational language, or writing in “the common style of every day” (Book 3, Line 481). This poetic concern extends from Ovid to Wordsworth in the British Romantic Era and to 20th century poets like Adrienne Rich, who writes about the dream of a common language. Echoing Book 2, Stanza 12, Ovid reminds women about the impressions that previous letters can leave on wax tablets, connecting the content of writing with its form. However, Ovid has another tip for clandestine romance: Women should address their letters to female correspondent, or refer to “‘him’ as ‘her’” (Book 3, Line 500) to hide what they are doing.

In Stanza 13, Ovid considers displays of emotions. Allusions to mythology support his argument that rage is unattractive—it makes a woman look like a “Gorgon” (Book 3, Line 506); the most famous of the Gorgons is Medusa, with her head of snakes and her ability to turn mortals to stone. Melancholy is also unattractive, as seen in Tecmessa and Andromache. Emotions, like clothes and hair, need to be artfully applied; they should enhance a woman’s features.

Stanza 14 develops the theme of the Art of Writing, arguing that being good at poetry makes you a better lover—mostly because they have to use effort to overcome the natural deficiency of poverty: Unlike lawyers and rich men, “poets nought but poems can bestow, / But we’re the best of lovers here below” (Book 3, Lines 533-34). This is because poetry is an outlet to flatter your lover, or make your muse famous. As usual, Ovid supports this with allusions to myth, such as poems that flatter Cynthia and Nemesis. Poets are also excellent at love because they focus on making art rather than making money. Their emotional intelligence, specifically vulnerability, is also heightened: “Our hearts are softened by our gentle trade” (Book 3, Line 545). In contrast, other professions harden people physically and mentally. Knowing this, women should delegate their needs the way a “commander” (Book 3, Line 526) singles out specific lower-ranking officers for different asks.

In Stanza 15, Ovid’s Advice for Women is to avoid dating inexperienced men—advice that echoes his call for men to seek out older women. Of course, were all of his readers to follow this advice, no one would find a romantic partner—but Ovid doesn’t address this paradox. The metaphor of war to represent love continues: In the previous stanza, Ovid called a smartly delegating woman a commander; here, he disparages young men as “raw recruit in Love’s campaign” (Book 3, Line 559). A man who is new to dating should be avoided, because no one needs the kind of drama he brings: breaking down doors, tearing clothes, and pulling hair when upset. Therefore, a woman should seek a “veteran [...] with quiet self-command” (Book 3, Line 565), or someone with experience in love. In addition to martial imagery, this point about experience is developed with farming imagery, seen in diction like “crop” (Book 3, Line 562) and “hay” (Book 3, Line 573).

Stanzas 16 and 17 focus on affairs, which Ovid recommends to keep the fire of lust alive: “Love thrives not long on easy fairing: mix / With amorous delights occasional kicks” (Book 3, Lines 579-80). Occasionally breaking up with your lover keeps him interested and in pursuit of you. Subtly mentioning a rival and pretending to be in danger are other ways to add spark to the relationship. Ovid uses ship and war symbolism to develop this point. He also includes details about his personal life, such as “I only love when jilted, I admit” (Book 3, Line 598). Finally, he alludes to the story of Thais, a courtesan who traveled with Alexander the Great. This combination of literary devices and personal confession is a way to overwhelm the reader with evidence.

Ovid’s Advice for Women, in regard to hiding an affair, includes giving your partner substances that will make them fall asleep so you can sneak out, and working with a female accomplice. Here, clothing goes beyond flattering physical features. Your female accomplice’s “bodice” (Book 3, Line 622), “shoe” (Book 3, Line 623), and “stockings” (Book 3, Line 624) can hide love letters. Letters being key to an affair also develops the theme of the Art of Writing. Ovid lists several methods for secret writing, including writing on your accomplice’s skin and writing invisible messages in milk (which the reader reveals with coal dust). Your female accomplice can also provide a private location for rendezvous: her bed. However, he also warns that accomplices can turn into rivals: “She, who’s so keen to offer room and bed— / Be sure I’ve oft enjoyed her in your stead” (Book 3, Lines 663-64).

Ovid notes that his advice for men and women is often the same: “I once complained that we must fear our friends; / Not to men only that complaint extends” (Book 3, Lines 659-60). This admission precludes critiques from readers, and acknowledges Ovid’s progressive take on gender equality within relationships: He images men and women using similar guile and artifice to seduce one another—a modern, if cynical, philosophy that bestows agency on women that many writers of the period would never grant. In Stanza 18, Ovid continues the thread that men think he is betraying them, like a traitorous prey animal revealing the location of more vulnerable peers: “Bird guides not fowler to her hiding place” (Book 2, Line 669).

However, just as he does for earlier, Ovid once again suggests ignoring evidence that your lover is cheating on you. He offers the story of Procris as an instructive long-form example. This lengthy digression that retells a Greek myth presages Ovid’s most famous work, the Metamorphoses, which comprises many mythological tales of transformation. Here, we learn about Procris, who believes a rumor that Cephalus is cheating on her; when she spies on him to find out the truth, he accidentally kills her. The tragic story has some comic elements: Cephalus’ sultry conversations aren’t with another lover but with the wind; Procris is so over-dramatic in her panic about his possible cheating that she looks enough like a wild animal that Cephalus kills her. Both have behaved in ways that reading The Art of Love would have prevented: Cephalus would have been more circumspect in his over-the-top wind worship, and Procris would have toned down her crazed emotions and outward appearance. Leaving this long aside, Ovid again boards a metaphorical barque, or ship. This symbolizes the journey of learning about love, specifically approaching its end.

The Advice for Women in Stanza 20 includes how to behave at dinner parties. Good table manners are associated with the mythological Helen, and drinking is associated with the god Bacchus. Mirroring Book 1, Stanza 18, Ovid notes again that Cupid and Bacchus are a “well-matched pair” (Book 3, Line 762). This repetition emphasizes the role that alcohol plays in courtship. However, drinking too much is dangerous: Sexual assault could occur if women pass out from too much alcohol. This echoes his advice to men to consume alcohol in moderation.

Stanza 21 is about sex, as Venus encourages Ovid to include this intimate subject in The Art of Love. Ovid’s list of sexual positions might remind the reader of the Kama Sutra. However, while he suggests that men learn how to give women pleasure, he does not propose women do the same. Instead, his instructions focus on appearance; positions should be based on your best physical features rather than your desire. For instance, athletic women whose legs are as shapely as those of Milanion and Atalanta should put them in full view during sex: “Well-shapen legs on shoulder should be laid” (Book 3, Line 775). His sex-positive language includes advising women to lose their inhibitions, like the maenads, who are ecstatic dancers. It is important that “man and woman equally should thrill!” (Book 3, Line 800), or orgasm; though he does suggest faking orgasms to please men, he pities the fact that some women do not orgasm. Echoing his previous advice to men, Ovid suggests dim lighting during sex.

In the final stanza, Ovid bids his female audience of “scholars fair” (Book 3, Line 811) farewell, ending on the reminder that women should be well read. He wants to be a famous teacher of both men and women.