The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens

The seventh habit returns to the self, but with an emphasis on how to keep balanced by paying attention to the body, the brain, the heart, and the soul. Covey emphasized the need to care for one’s body, particularly through good nutrition and exercise. Covey realizes that many teens are self-conscious about their bodies, but he urges them to focus on how they feel rather than how they look. He points out the falsity of many celebrity pictures, airbrushed to create seemingly flawless skin and bodies. He then moves on to the need to stay away from addictive drugs and alcohol. He provides the five steps of the “Refusal Skill,” developed by the Comprehensive Health Education Foundation, to help people resist engaging in risky behaviors; because of the power of addictive substances, it’s better that one never starts.

It’s also important to care for your brain. Covey emphasizes the value of an education, but he also reminds us that we must be ready to work hard for that education: “An educated mind can focus, synthesize, write, speak, create, analyze, imagine, and so much more. To do that, however, it must be trained. It won’t just happen automatically” (217). He encourages reading as the gateway to learning. Covey emphasizes that learning happens both inside and outside of the classroom, and he urges us to find what we love, “our niche,” so we will be inspired to learn about that. He urges us not to let roadblocks like money, peer pressure, screen time, over-emphasis on grades, and over-emphasis on sports get in the way of education.

We must also care for our hearts. Covey acknowledges that the heart, especially the teenaged heart, is subject to rushes of emotions that can make us feel like we’re on a roller coaster. To help steady that feeling and nourish our heart, we should focus on both our personal bank account and our relationship bank account. The deposits for each of the accounts are similar “because deposits you make into other people’s accounts usually end up in your own as well” (229). As for sexual relationships, Covey gives a list of 50 reasons (from Journeyworks Publishing) someone may not be ready to have sex to help readers decide to have sex or wait.

Covey reminds us that it is okay to feel depressed, but he urges those with deeper depression to seek the help of a doctor or therapist. He refers readers to the resources in the back of his book. Finally, he reminds us that laughter is good for the heart. He recommends keeping a “humor collection” as a readily available resource whenever we need a laugh.

Lastly, it is important to care for one’s soul. Covey urges us to figure out what inspires us, whether it is God, meditation, helping others, writing, reading, walking, music, art, talking to others, or reflection. He has found spending time in nature as well as writing in a journal to be effective strategies in filling his soul. He also recommends unplugging from phones and social media for a while since media has such a powerful force over our lives: “You’ll eventually become what you view, hear, and read, so continually ask yourself the question ‘Do I want this to be part of me?’” (237). One destructive example of social media that he points out is online pornography. While some may say it’s harmless, Covey points out the addictive nature of online porn, which is similar to other addictive substances. You are no longer in control; the addiction is.