Seven Days in June

“Sickness wasn’t sexy. And her disability was invisible—she wasn’t missing a limb or in a full-body cast. Her level of suffering seemed impossible for others to fathom. After all, everyone gets headaches sometimes, like during coffee withdrawal or the flu. So she hid it. All people knew is she canceled plans a lot. (‘Busy Writing!’). And was prone to fainting, like at Denise and Todd’s wedding (‘Too much prosecco!’). Or forgot words midsentence (‘Sorry, just distracted’). Or disappeared for weeks at a time (‘Writing Retreat!’—definitely not an in-patient stay in Mount Sinai’s pain ward).”

Eva’s disability affects her entire life and is a massive part of her character and how she moves through the world. However, the lengths she goes to hide her disability from others is also a huge part of her character—she doesn’t want anyone to know how much she suffers, especially since her disability is invisible. There is also irony in the idea of trying to hide an invisible illness.

“Eva’s parenting wasn’t mommy-blog approved. They often had pizza for dinner and fell asleep watching Succession, and since childcare was a luxury, Audre attended too many grown-up events. Plus, on bad head days, Eva allowed Audre unlimited TikTok time after homework so she could crash for a bit. But Eva let herself off the hook for those things. When it came to mothering, what mattered to her was setting a powerful example. When Audre audited her memories, Eva wanted her to remember a ballsy woman who invented her life from scratch. No man, no help, no problem. The Single-Mom Superhero myth, thought Eva, and it’s a trap.”

At the core of who she is, Eva is a mother. She is determined to be better than her mother, despite her disability. Being a good mother is her focus now, but like in her past, she wants to control the story about who she is as a mother. If she seems strong, she is strong, and her daughter won’t remember anything different. Not only does Eva go out of her way to hide her disability, but she also puts equal effort into being the best mother. She doesn’t need anyone; she can do it all on her own.

“The only thing Shane could ever do well was write, but he’d only ever done it drunk. He’d become a critic’s darling while drunk. He’d gotten rich while drunk. He’d churned out four ‘hypnotic, ecstatic elegies to shattered youth’—according to the New York Times—while drunk. He’d won the National Book Award while drunk. He’d never composed even one sentence sober, and frankly, he was scared to try. So the writing was on hold for now.”

For a long time, writing was the only thing that Shane could do. But now that he is sober, he has to learn how to do everything over again from facing his emotions to writing. Writing was one of the ways that he was able to process the world while drunk, but now he doesn’t know if he will be able to write again.

“Back in the dark ages, when his loneliness was like quicksand, when he’d ruin himself to make it stop—and the only bright spot in all of this was loving a beautiful girl with demons ferocious enough to slay his own. For seven days, a million Junes ago.” 

Shane’s pain and loneliness were so overwhelming that only pain or drugs could cut through it. When he met Genevieve, someone who has as much pain and demons as himself, they found comfort in each other. This is the foundation of their relationship and connection.

“Eva threw her hands up. ‘You know I’m not perfect.’ ‘You are! Because you don’t live. You just write books you hate and obsess over me. You don’t have boyfriends or travel or do fun stuff or want anything more than you’ve got.’ She took a deep breath. ‘You write about love, but you won’t go get it. You don’t want anything.’”

During their fight, Audre accuses Eva of not living her life. Eva has been so focused on making sure her daughter had a stable life, unlike Eva’s own childhood, that she stopped living for herself. She was so worried about the story that Audre would tell herself that she forgot about the reality.

“Then he met Eva, and she breathed the same air. She stuck to his bones, imprinted herself on his brain—and thoroughly rearranged his world, in the best way.”

Their time together was so impactful, that Shane and Eva’s connection lasted all these years. Their connection was so natural and more than emotional; they couldn’t resist each other. This imagery and figurative language—sticking to bones, imprinting on a brain—also convey profound intimacy. Brain and bones are among the deepest parts of a person, and this is how Shane feels about Eva.

“Hazy flashes from the night came rushing back. He remembered jolting awake from a dream realizing she was too far away, and pulling her against him, with an unthinking neediness he’d never allowed himself to feel before. At one point, during a brief glimmer of consciousness, he’d realized they were clinging to each other so that it was almost too hard to breathe, but it felt so good that before drifting off again, he thought, Fuck it, dying like this would be worth it.”

Shane is used to turning to drugs for relief, but for one of the first times in his life, he feels comfortable with another person. So relaxed, he can sleep deeply for the first time. With Eva, Shane found comfort and safety he never wanted to let go of.

“‘Look, Audre doesn’t know about any of this. She thinks Lizette’s a hero. I’ve… tweaked history a bit, ‘cause I want her to be proud of who she is,’ insisted Eva. ‘I’ve never even been to Belle Fleur.’

‘Go.’ Abuzz with energy, Shane turned his whole body to face her. ‘Go.’

‘Can’t.’ Eva shook her head. ‘It’d require breaking myself open.’

‘Why don’t you want to?’

‘It’s a mess in there,’ she said hollowly.”

Eva is so scared of who she is and showing people who she is, so she has worked so hard to control the story about her past and hide who she is now. Being honest about her past requires her to be honest about who she is now, and she is not sure she is ready to face that. As this passage shows, Shane is a force in her life that encourages her movement toward self-acceptance. Eva eventually decides independently to go to Belle Fleur, but here Shane is already suggesting it.

“‘So did you? Romanticize us?’ asked Shane, eyes catching hers. ‘Or were we real?’ ‘We were real,’ she whispered almost inaudibly. ‘Then?’ He ground himself against her and she moaned. ‘Y-yes,’ she gasped. ‘Then. And now.’”

In the Dream House, Shane and Eva are intimate for the first time since they were 17. Eva was worried that she had romanticized their connection, but she didn’t. Their relationship now is just as emotional, comfortable, and passionate as 15 years ago.

“Eva shouldn’t have been so nervous to launch such a difficult conversation with her own kid, but so much of Eva’s self-worth depended on how her daughter thought of her. She knew it was unhealthy and over the top, but it was also true.”

Eva’s mother and childhood are full of such pain and trauma that she will do anything to rewrite her daughter’s story and be a better mother than Lizette was. Eva has been so focused on changing her generational curses that her worth is now wrapped up in what her daughter thinks of her, especially since Eva holds so much anger and resentment toward her own mother.

“Shane nodded. ‘Is that like what you did with your mom? Rewriting her history for Audre’s sake?’ Eva squeezed his hand and let go. ‘There's more than what you see,’ she said softly. ‘Between me and Audre. We’ve been through a lot.’”

Even though Eva has worked hard to change their generational patterns, she and Audre still have struggles, and Eva must learn how to navigate motherhood with her disability. Her headaches have complicated her role as a mother, as sometimes she can’t get out of bed or is in the hospital. Changing the narrative about this has been a challenge for Eva as she works to be the best mother she can be, and with no help from a partner.

“In the near darkness, Shane’s eyes blazed. ‘I showed up in Brooklyn, unannounced. Yeah. but let’s tell facts. You came to Horatio Street. You convinced me to go to the Dream House. And you left me there. I know you twist history to make things easier for you, but I’ve never made you do anything. Do you ever think about your role in all of this?’ ‘My role?’ Eva’s voice rose five decibels. ‘Please, I’m not even a real person to you! Just a piece of fiction you made up.’ ‘Nah, you’re fiction that you made up.’”

Shane calls Eva out for the stories she is telling herself, trying to rewrite the past and the present. He forces her to take responsibility for her role in their relationship and the effects of the stories she tells about the past. She is still angry that he co-opted her pain and wrote about it, but he asks her to think about the stories she has been telling about their past and who they are now.

“If I knew the cops would send you to the loony bin, I wouldn’t have. But yes, I called the police! That boy kidnapped you. Hurt you. You were bleeding. Any mother would’ve done the same. Imagine if it were Audre. Besides, he knew he was guilty. You can’t imagine…He…he wouldn’t let you go. He was holding both of your hands in his and just wouldn’t let go. And then he crawled in bed and held you. Right in front of me. So disrespectful. Imagine if that was your baby? He refused to move. When the cops got there, it took all three of them to drag him away from you.”

Because she was unconscious on that day 15 years ago, Eva thought that Shane had left her, but that wasn’t the whole truth. Unlike Eva, Lizette twisted the truth and let her daughter think that Shane abandoned her. For the last 15 years, Eva has mistakenly thought he left and that she wasn’t good enough. According to her mother, Mercier women are cursed, and men would never stay anyway. In many ways, this is the answer to the question Eva has had for the last 15 years.

“‘Stop being so mad at me! You know, boys like Shane belong behind bars.’ Lizette was grasping at straws now, to keep Genevieve on the phone. Genevieve has always confused her. When you’re pregnant, you think you’re gonna have a little you. A tiny person with your same thoughts, same feelings. But her daughter came out wholly herself. Self-sufficient, stubborn, too clever for the world, and an utter mystery. Lizette never really knew how to raise her, and Lord knows Genevieve never gave any clues.”

Although Eva and Lizette are completely different in their parenting styles, they both struggle with knowing what is right for their daughters. This section in Lizette’s point of view helps the reader understand her side of the story, which is different from what Eva experienced and is separate from the stories that Eva has told Audre. This perspective helps portray Lizette as a rounded character with her own struggles.

. “No, I’m sorry. That’s what I came to New York to say, I’m sorry I broke my promise. And I’m sorry I didn’t find you the second I was released. But by then, you’d published your first book. You were a success, and I didn’t want to ruin it. Back then, I was convinced that I ruined everything I touched.”

After Eva learns that Shane never left on purpose, he explains why he stayed away. After seeing her overdose, he thought that pattern had repeated itself; he ruined something else good. This reinforced that Shane didn’t deserve love. Leaning more into alcohol, he was trying to run from the memory.

“My mom keeps a lot of stuff inside, but her thoughts are really loud. I know she’s been scared and lonely. She has a disability, but you probably know that. It is a barometric pressure thing. When it rains or snows or gets really hot or really cold too fast, she hurts. But alcohol, stress, loud noises, and weird smells do it. You have to learn her triggers. And please, just be patient with her. Sometimes she has to lie down for a long time. You might feel bored or lonely or even rejected, but she can’t help being sick.”

Eva’s disability affects more than just Eva, and Audre is protective of her mother. She knows that Eva needs lots of care and won’t ask for it. This also emphasizes that Eva’s disability isn’t as hidden as she thinks, and even though she has tried to be the best mother she can, her migraines ensure there are days that she can’t be motherly. However, this has just made their relationship stronger, and Audre asks Shane to love Eva just like she is, which is not what the men have done in her family before.

“This is that family feeling, he thought. Of total acceptance, belonging to people. A connection that eclipsed everything. Shane hadn’t experienced this since his foster parents—for so long that he’d decided he didn’t deserve it.”

After Shane’s foster mother died and his foster father gave him up, he didn’t think that he deserved a family, that he belonged, or that he would be loved. But now, with Eva and Audre, he finds what he has been looking for—belonging. The phrase “that family feeling” makes the concept sound almost mythical or imaginary—which is exactly how Shane has felt about it all his life.

“Shane had changed his mind. About them. About her. Eva was too much for him. He didn’t want her after all. It was immense pressure taking on a woman and her daughter. Yesterday was fun and games, but when he’d gotten home and put some distance between them, he’d realized that an instant family wasn’t for him.”

When Shane doesn't show up at brunch, Eva thinks that the same old pattern has repeated itself. This is a prime example of how Eva rewrites the story, justifying it to herself. She knows Shane thinks he doesn’t deserve a family, and she comes with a lot of baggage, so she excuses his actions.

“He’d forgotten. He’d forgotten because he had no experience with being needed. As a beloved author, he was a lot of people’s favorite person. But no one had ever really loved him. At least not since he was little.”

Although he wanted a family and a home, Shane forgot what it was like to be needed and depended on. Being needed was something that he wanted, but he spent so much time running from it that he didn't know how to face it. This narration shows Shane’s inner thoughts, and those inner thoughts reflect his growing self-awareness.

“Eva’s ring wasn’t some suitor’s gift to her mom. It had been passed down for generations, infused with love, fury, and passion of these women. Her women. Her people And their stories, like the ring, were now hers. And finally, she knew what to write.”

Realizing the ring has been passed down from the women in her family helps Eva recognize that she is more connected to her family than she thought. Who they are and their stories are now hers, just like the ring. Now, it is time to look honestly at the past and be honest about who she is.

“‘The truth is I… I have an invisible disability.’

‘A what?’ asked Ebony.

‘A disability. My head is fucking exploding and it’s so bad that, Ebony, your nose is melting into your face, and I am concerned that I might vomit on my borrowed Alexander McQueen’ […]

Eva’s words were slurring, her vision was blurring—but my God, she was exhilarated. Just by that one small (huge) admission! She felt unburdened, unshackled.”

Honesty about herself requires honesty about her disability. Eva has spent so much time hiding it, but it is a part of who she is, and this development is paramount to her character development. If she wants to write the stories of the women who came before her, she has to be honest about her own.

“I don’t want to hurt you of Audre,’ he said, his voice tinged with resigned sadness. ‘I am not good enough for you yet. But I want to be, and I’ll work on it. I promise.’”

For the first time in his life, Shane is being honest about how he feels. He knows that he cannot be there for Eva and Audre the way they need, and he needs to heal before he can. Although leaving again, this is different from last time because he can face his feelings instead of running from them. 

“For half my life, I’ve hidden in general. I’ve spent so much time being scared. Scared of digging too deep into who I am, for fear of what I might find. What ghosts I might confront, secrets I might confront, secrets I might uncover. Better to bury it all. I thought I couldn’t be a successful person if I had demons. But what fully realized person doesn’t? No one expects men to be flaw free. Women are expected to absorb traumas, both subtle and loud, and move on. Shoulder the weight of the world. But when the world fucks with us, the worst thing we can do is bury it. Embracing it makes us strong enough to fuck the world right back.”

Although she has been successful, Eva has never been able to write the story she wanted. She was able to hide behind her characters and stay safe and stable. She has spent her entire life in fear, and now she wants to reclaim her life and reclaim the stories of the women who have come before her, who absorbed the trauma and were never loved by men for who they were.