Old Love

The speaker in Pat Mora’s poem “Old Love” is a young person whose aunt has died at the age of 87. The speaker observes and reports their uncle’s immense grief. Apparently, the uncle and the aunt were married for “Sixty years” (Line 20), hence the title’s emphasis on the love being “old.” The poem makes clear that “old” here refers not merely to the number of years the couple spent together but also to the fact that their love matured and strengthened over the decades. This is an enduring love between people who have weathered a great deal together, probably both good and bad, and preserved their connection through it all. It is striking that the uncle keeps saying “I’ve lost my girl” (Lines 4 and 5), as if they were still young. The fact that he remembers her that way suggests that his love for her did not lose the intensity it had at the very beginning of their relationship.

The speaker employs two vivid similes to convey the uncle’s enormous grief and sense of loss. As the uncle “raise[s] his hands (Line 2) and “shake[s] his head” (Line 6), the speaker compares him to “a prophet in the Bible” (Line 3), “raising his voice to / silence” (Line 9-10). Many Biblical prophets grieve over the suffering of the Jewish people, sometimes seeking explanation from an unresponsive God. There is no adequate answer to why pain and death must be part of life, and in that sense, both the prophets and the uncle raise their voices to silence. Silence is also implied in the speaker’s second simile, which compares the uncle to “a tree alone at night” (Line 13). The isolated tree, with no other trees around it, in the silence of the night, captures the loneliness the uncle must feel upon the loss of a woman with whom he shared his life for 60 years. (For more detailed discussion of both similes, see Symbols & Motifs.)

The speaker is taken aback by the intensity and vehemence of the uncle’s grief. They don’t “know what to say, / where to look” (Lines 7-8). Since they describe their uncle as “quiet” (Line 9), their surprise at his emotional outburst suggests that it is extremely uncharacteristic of him. The uncle appears to be a man who typically behaves in a more constrained manner and probably handles difficult situations calmly. The loss of his wife, however, takes him into a different mental place, where restraint and serenity are impossible. The speaker has never seen their uncle in this state, which is why they are unsure how to react. They might feel they are intruding at this moment of the uncle’s profound emotional vulnerability.

The awkwardness of the moment is broken by the uncle’s decision to confide in the speaker, sharing a precious memory of his late wife. “Every midnight on New Year’s Eve” (Line 15), amid celebration and joy, she would look at him with “tears in her eyes” (Line 19). It seems that he understood her tears without any need for explanation: “She knew. / One day, we’d kiss good-bye” (Lines 21-22). This memory testifies to the enduring quality of their mutual love. The fear of losing that love—or losing the life partner with whom that love is shared—reveals the firmness of the commitment they made to each other. (For more on the importance of this New Year’s Eve moment, see Symbols & Motifs.)

While the uncle’s words to his niece or nephew are primarily an expression of his anguish, they are also a kind of lesson about the importance and value of finding and maintaining such profound love. The speaker is clearly so impressed by both the uncle’s raw emotions and his heartfelt words that they may never forget them. In addition to describing overwhelming grief, the poem also hints at the significance of intergenerational family influence. It depicts a moment when a younger family member experiences an epiphany, a profound realization, about an older family member, which is also a moment in which the older person leaves an indelible mark on the younger person and their future. (For more on intergenerational epiphany, see Themes.)