No More Cake Here

The first line of Natalie Diaz’s poem “No More Cake Here” indicates the beginning of what seems to be a solemn narrative: “When my brother died / I worried there wasn’t enough time” (Lines 1-2). However, the speaker’s focus quickly shifts from the death of their brother to event planning. The occasion is not a memorial, but “a party after all” (Line 9)—and an elaborate one at that, with a guest list of one hundred. As for a birthday party, entertainment is a priority. The speaker is disappointed when the fire department can’t provide “free rides on the truck” (Line 7), but is content with a festive drive-by “with the lights on” (Line 9). The emergency vehicle, in this case, is there just for fun, not to mitigate some disaster.

The speaker uses absurd imagery to convey their brother’s troubled past and its impact on the family. The speaker encourages their parents to literally exhale trauma—" jails, twenty dollar bills, midnight phone calls, fistfights, and er visits” (Lines 12-13)—by blowing up balloons—to “let go” (Line 13). Exhausted, the mother sleeps for a decade and misses the festivities. She is not released from the weight of her worry, which will not be mitigated by a party.

In the third, short stanza, the speaker’s siblings make “confetti” (Line 20) of the brother’s worn and dirty clothing, transforming the rags into something celebratory. Their thrill at doing this conveys a sense of joy, an unexpected emotion given the brother’s supposed death. The festivities imply that the narrator and their siblings are relieved, at least in part, that their brother is no longer alive and able to trouble them.

In spite of joy, a sense of ominousness permeates the merry scene. Diaz describes the balloons as a fistful of red grins” (Line 23) caught in the “cul-de-sac” (Line 24), a street with no exit. Clowns blow a smell of “rotten raspberries” Line 25) into the atmosphere. They use “bugles” (Line 24) which are martial instruments, traditionally used in battle and for military purposes. ‘Raspberry’ describes a disparaging gesture made by sticking one’s tongue out between one’s lips and blowing, the noisy equivalent of a thumbs-down. Despite their efforts, the clowns fail to infuse the event with merriment. This suggests that the speaker’s feelings about their brother’s death are nuanced; the party is not a completely joyful moment, but one infused by anxiety, ambivalence, and foreboding.

The poem grows more and more surreal. It takes on a dreamlike quality as stanza four progresses. We learn that the kitchen is crowded with guests, “ninety-nine of us” (Line 28). This is an impossible amount of people to gather into a domestic space. The number ninety-nine can signify many separate entities, and/or just one multi-faceted entity.

The tone of menace escalates when “stray dogs c[o]me to the window” (Line 30). This   introduces the idea of hunger, the dogs’ “stomachs and mouths growling” (Line 31). Meanwhile, the house flows with entertainers, with a “mariachi band playing in the bathroom” (Line 32). Again, the festivity of the moment is marred by tension—the mariachi players gripe “about the bathtub acoustics” (Line 34). Still, the speaker is seemingly unfazed, as though the house were always, to some degree, tense and crowded. The tone is matter-of-fact, with declarative, staccato lines: “The fire truck came by with the sirens on. The dogs ran away. / I sliced the cake into ninety-nine pieces” (Lines 36 – 37). The lines’ straightforward tone puts their dramatic content into high relief. The absurdism is crystallized.

The speaker shows how life can look better in their brother’s absence. They decorate items that the brother, under the influence of meth, “had taken apart and put back together” (Line 42). Sparkly wrappings both draw attention to the objects and cover them so that they are no longer recognized as what they are.

The “two mutants” (Line 45) who show up are presumably friends or associates of the speaker’s deceased brother. Their appearance suggests that they abuse meth as well. In fact, they want his things, the “pots / and pans and spoons” (Lines 48) he used for his “cooking” (Line 49)—an allusion to making meth. The speaker chases them off and retrieves the utensils. They bang “them / together like a New Year’s celebration” (Lines 55-56), repurposing the probable drug paraphernalia in service to the festive occasion.

In the last stanza, when the brother shows up alive, we see the speaker grappling with guilt. They reckon with the knowledge that a part of them wants that party and therefore their brother’s death—they want the release they believe their brother’s death would bring for their brother, their family, and themselves. Everything the party was meant to release—the anxiety over the brother’s health and behavior—is still in place, is still happening, because he still lives, and lives with addiction.