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30 pages 1 hour read

Chinua Achebe

Marriage is a Private Affair

Fiction | Short Story | Adult | Published in 1952

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Character Analysis

Nnaemeka

As the protagonist of the story, Nnaemeka represents the younger generation in Nigeria who struggle to reconcile traditional values with modern attitudes and beliefs. Through Nnaemeka’s character, Achebe explores themes of identity, family obligation, love, and the conflict between tradition and modernity.

Nnaemeka is initially introduced as a young man who is living in Lagos with his fiancée and pursuing his own dreams and aspirations. He is independent-minded and has a strong desire to make his own choices in life, which puts him at odds with his father, Okeke, who is a traditionalist and holds strict views on marriage and cultural customs. Despite this conflict, Nnaemeka is portrayed as a loving and respectful son who deeply values his family and their traditions.

Although he is deeply respectful of his father, Nnaemeka is willing to challenge traditional norms and his father’s expectations in pursuit of his own happiness. This is most evident in his decision to marry Nene, a woman who is not from their tribe, and thus not chosen by Okeke for his son. Nnaemeka’s defiance of his father’s wishes highlights his determination to live his life on his own terms and to assert his own identity in the face of cultural pressure.

Nnaemeka attempts to gracefully navigate the generational divide between himself and his father. As a young man who has been exposed to new ideas and ways of thinking, Nnaemeka is more open to change and innovation than his father, who is firmly rooted in traditional tribal ways. Despite this difference, Nnaemeka is extremely respectful of his father and tries to find a way to reconcile their differences. He is patient and understanding in his interactions with Okeke, even when he is met with resistance and disapproval.

Nnaemeka’s character also highlights the challenges faced by individuals who are trying to forge their own paths in a society that places a high value on family obligation and loyalty. Nnaemeka is torn between his love for Nene and his loyalty to his father, which creates a sense of conflict and tension in his character. This conflict is further complicated by the pressure of cultural expectations and the fear of rejection from his community. Nnaemeka’s struggle to balance his personal desires with his obligations to his family and culture is a common theme in Achebe’s work and reflects the experiences of many young people in Nigeria and other societies.

Nnaemeka is a multifaceted and dynamic character through whom Achebe explores themes of identity, family obligation, love, and the conflict between tradition and modernity. Nnaemeka’s willingness to challenge tradition and pursue his own happiness, while also maintaining respect for his family and culture, makes him a relatable and sympathetic character. His story serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of empathy, understanding, and communication in bridging cultural and generational divides.

Okeke

Okeke serves as a representative of the older generation in Nigeria who struggle to reconcile traditional values with modern attitudes and beliefs Okeke is initially introduced as a traditionalist who values cultural customs and practices above all else. He is deeply rooted in his community and sees his identity as being defined by his adherence to traditional norms and values. Okeke’s views on marriage are particularly rigid, and he believes that marriage should only occur between members of the same tribe who have been approved by their families.

One of the defining characteristics of Okeke’s character is his resistance to change and his unwillingness to accept new ideas and ways of thinking. He is dismissive of his son’s decision to marry Nene and sees this as Nnaemeka’s betrayal of his family and cultural values. Okeke is unable to see beyond the traditional boundaries of his community and is fearful of the consequences of breaking with tradition.

Despite his rigid views on marriage and family, Okeke is portrayed as a loving and caring father who is deeply committed to his family. He is protective of his son and wants what is best for him, even if this means making difficult choices or sacrifices. This demonstrates his strong sense of family obligation and his willingness to put the needs of his family above his own desires.

Another important aspect of Okeke’s character is his struggle to reconcile his traditional beliefs with the changing world around him. He demonstrates his ability to think outside of tribal traditions by his dismissal of the suggestion that he enlist a native doctor to help his son. However, he is unable to let go of his beliefs that marriage should be arranged by elders and that love is not an essential component of a successful marriage. Okeke’s inability to understand or accept his son’s choices highlights the generational divide between them and the challenges faced by individuals who are trying to balance tradition and modernity.

Okeke’s character also serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of cultural narrow-mindedness and the potential for prejudice and discrimination. His rejection of Nene based solely on her tribe reveals the extent to which cultural biases can shape individual beliefs and attitudes. And this rejection results in Okeke’s missing out on the first years of his grandchildren’s lives.

Okeke’s character highlights the need for empathy, understanding, and acceptance in bridging cultural divides and fostering a more inclusive and tolerant society.

Okeke’s resistance to change and his adherence to traditional values serves as a reflection of the older generation in Nigeria, while his struggles to reconcile his beliefs with the changing world around him highlights the challenges faced by individuals trying to balance tradition and modernity.

Nene

Nene is Nnaemeka’s fiancée, a strong-willed and independent woman who has a meaningful career of her own. Nene is also a caring and loving partner to Nnaemeka. She supports him emotionally throughout the story, especially when his father disowns him.

Even in the face of the unfair treatment to which Okeke subjects Nene, she still understands the importance of family, as evidenced by her writing to her father-in-law to tell him that his grandsons are eager to meet him.

In fact, it is Nene who ultimately brings about the possibility of reconciliation between Okeke and Nnaemeka, demonstrating her profound empathy and her ability to exist in a way that bridges the gap between the tradition of the old tribal lifestyle and personal choice and a more modern lifestyle.

Okeke’s Traditional Friend Group

Okeke’s traditional friend group consists of elderly men who uphold and value traditional beliefs and customs. They are depicted as stubborn and unyielding, refusing to accept new ideas and change their ways.

The men in Okeke’s friend group are characterized by their adherence to traditional gender roles and expectations. They believe that men are superior to women and that a woman’s duty is to obey her husband and take care of the home. This is evident in their objections to Nnaemeka’s relationship with Nene, as she is from a different tribe and does not conform to their idea of an ideal wife.

The men in the group are also resistant to change, particularly when it comes to the modernization and westernization of Nigerian society. They view these changes as a threat to their way of life and reject them outright. In fact, when discussing Nnaemeka’s decision to break with tradition and marry outside the Igbo tribe, one of them suggests that “[i]t is the beginning of the end” (26) as prophesied in the Bible.

They also hold tight to the old, traditional ways, as evidenced by their suggestions that Okeke consult a native doctor to craft a love potion to help Nnaemeka recover from his “sickness.” Interestingly, Okeke does not agree with this, demonstrating that even he has abandoned some of the old, traditional ways to which his peers still cling.

Overall, Okeke’s traditional friend group represents the traditionalist perspective in the story. They are deeply rooted in their beliefs and resistant to change, even when it means standing in the way of their children’s happiness. Their support of Okeke in his refusal to accept Nnaemeka’s relationship with Nene, despite the couple’s obvious love for each other, highlights the conflict between tradition and modernity that is central to the story.

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