Mad Honey

Two months before her death, Lily goes to see a school hockey game with Maya. At the after-party, Asher spends all his time talking to Maya and Lily, and then the three of them go out to eat. When Maya excuses herself to go to the bathroom, Asher asks Lily out.

Before Asher, Lily has had only one boy boyfriend: Jonah Cooper, whom she befriended in her sophomore year. The two of them often went hiking together, and Jonah took her hand and kissed her on one such hike, asking for them to stay friends no matter what happened between them.

A week after asking her out, Lily and Asher go ice skating on their first date and share their first kiss. They draw closer together over the next couple weeks, and Asher even introduces her to Olivia. Lily’s life begins to orbit around Asher, though she’s cautious about what she reveals to him. She eventually introduces him to Ava; Asher sees an old picture of Lily as Liam at their house, and Lily claims it’s her cousin who died of leukemia.

Lily participates in a fencing tournament at Dartmouth and runs into Jonah, who is now a freshman at the school. She remembers how her father turned up, drunk, at a fencing tournament at her school in Point Reyes and outed her to everyone by calling her his son, Liam. Lily’s friend Sorel later confronted her and, upon learning the truth, told overtone else.

Jonah apologizes to Lily for what he did to her. Asher sees Lily talking to Jonah and yanks her arm, jealous. Maya asks Asher to snap out of it, and Ava takes Lily home, even though Asher apologizes to Lily. Maya comes over for a sleepover the next day, and as the girls snap selfies, Maya spots the bruise on Lily’s arm. Maya asks Lily if she’s okay, and Lily replies, “‘I’m fine […] It’s nothing’” (327).

Dr. Powers takes the stand as the first witness for the defense. She’s an accomplished surgeon and a trans woman. Dr. Powers explains to the jury what it means to be transgender: “Trans people are people whose gender identity doesn’t match the gender they were thought to be when they were born” (328). She uses the analogy of left and right handedness to explain gender identity, in that everyone has a dominant identity, which isn’t a preference. While most are right-handed, similar to how most people are cisgender, some are born left-handed. Dr. Powers describes Lily’s transition, which involved the use of puberty blockers and “bottom surgery”—a vaginoplasty so realistic that not only was penetrative sex with a male partner possible, but he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference unless explicitly told.

As Gina begins her cross-examination, Olivia writes down ingredients for a honey loaf recipe, which she usually makes for Asher when he has lost something. Gina questions Dr. Powers about post-surgical scars, and Dr. Powers confirms that there are none. Gina insinuates that the only scars Lily sported were the ones left by her boyfriend. During a recess, Olivia runs into Mike at the water fountain, who asks how she’s doing and reveals that he’s attending the trial to support her.

Coach Lacroix testifies next and describes Asher as talented, responsible, sensitive, and empathetic with younger kids—a natural leader. Gina brings up how Asher was involved in fights during his hockey career, which Coach defends as Asher fighting back because he was often targeted for how good a player he was. Gina brings up the cheating scandal and suspension, and to Coach’s response that it didn’t line up with his character, Gina insinuates that this seems to be the case with many things about Asher.

During the lunch break, Olivia, Jordan, and Asher encounter Braden outside the courtroom. He wants to testify as a character witness, which Jordan flatly refuses. Braden reveals, to Olivia’s shock, that he and Asher met once a month. Asher pulls Olivia aside and apologizes for lying to her. He wanted to be part of Braden’s life, but despite their monthly meeting, Braden never once invited him to his new home. Olivia asks if Asher remembers anything about their life with Braden, and Asher can remember just one instance, a memory of Braden convincing Asher that they could see Santa flying through the night sky at Christmas.

Olivia takes the stand, and even as she talks about Asher’s good qualities, she registers the resemblance between Asher and Braden—and what Braden was capable of. However, she defends Asher’s character by finally revealing her own history of domestic abuse, recalling the day that Asher stepped between Braden and Olivia and saved her. She has known and loved abusive men, and she lies that she’s sure Asher isn’t one of them. Olivia bursts out crying, and Braden, livid, leaves the courtroom.

During the 10-minute break that follows, Asher and Olivia talk about Braden. Asher wonders if Braden could ever change, but Olivia doesn’t think so. Olivia asks Asher if he wants to tell her something, and he’s hurt. Jordan calls them back before Asher can answer, and Olivia realizes that some part of her thinks Asher is guilty. On her way in, a waiting Mike tells Olivia he’s sorry—and that not every man is like Braden.

During Gina’s cross-examination, she shows Olivia pictures of the bruises on Lily’s arm, asking if it’s possible that Asher did this. She points out the possibility of loving someone who inflicts physical harm, and Olivia, thinking about the similarities between Braden and Asher, agrees. She remembers how, when Asher stepped between Braden and her, Braden picked him up and hurled him across the room. As Olivia consoled a hurt and shrieking Asher, she decided to protect her child at all costs.

At one point in the chapter, Olivia thinks about “mad honey,” a type of honey that is dangerous to consume; created by bees that feast on rhododendrons and mountain laurel, mad honey is attractive to humans because of its sweetness—but it contains poisonous toxins that cause a range of complications, from nausea to convulsion and cardiac disorders, and can be fatal if untreated.

Ten weeks before Lily’s death, she completes her second week at Adams High. She attends a morning meeting at school that day, which involves a presentation from the student LGBTQ group called “Rainbow Alliance,” led by two students, who are trans and non-binary, respectively. Lily doesn’t to join them because she doesn’t want to come out as a “trans” girl; she wants to be just a girl.

Lily walks home after school, remembering what her father did to her on their last night together. Ava found her sobbing on the floor after he cut off all her hair. She promised her not to worry about anything, and two hours later, they left Seattle. On the way to California, Lily decided what her new name would be and that she wouldn’t be a girl. When she said this to Ava, Ava hugged her and responded, “You’ve always been a girl” (359). Ava and Lily moved into a house owned by Ava’s family in Point Reyes, where she was home-schooled for the rest of the year. She began puberty blockers at age 12, and Ava began introducing Lily to everyone as her daughter. Lily eventually started taking hormones, and by ninth grade she developed breasts and hips. This, combined with her unchanged lower body, put her in danger, as men began to notice her more.

Now on the way home, Lily takes a wrong turn and gets lost. It’s late and dark now, and a man begins following her. As he gets closer, Mike’s car passes her, and he stops to ask if Lily is okay, revealing that he’s a detective. Mike gives Lily a ride home, and she introduces herself to him, stating that she’s new in town.