Maame

“I almost tell her that fun doesn’t equate to happiness; at the very least, it lends you happiness and I want to know how to keep it.”

Maddie and her mother have different views of what happiness is. Maddie’s mother is concerned about her staying at home with her father, as she feels a young woman should be out socializing. For Maddie, fun is fleeting—but for her mother, who wasn’t able to have fun as an immigrant acclimating to a new country and culture, the privilege of fun is in itself happiness. This quote emphasizes the generational divide between Maddie and her mother.

“For Mum, work-related happiness is directly proportional to how much you earn. Still, that doesn’t change the fact that although I didn’t think I’d be rich, I expected to be happy and the failure to do so has left me gasping for air most of the day.”

Another generational divide between Maddie and her mother is their connection (or lack thereof) between happiness and career. For Maddie’s mother, financial stability is true happiness. However, Maddie has the mindset that making money isn’t as meaningful to happiness as doing something one loves or takes pride in. The problem is, Maddie hasn’t found this kind of passion, nor does she make a sustainable amount of money. Therefore, both her and her mother’s versions of happiness don’t apply to Maddie.

“Maybe the reason Mum struggles to understand me is because she preaches her experience; no one told her she could do anything she wanted. My parents were Black immigrants in eighties London; they didn’t have time for hobbies or the ability to seek job-fulfillment opportunities.”

Another generational divide between Maddie and her mother relates to their pasts. As an immigrant and a Black woman, Maddie’s mother didn’t have the privilege to explore her interests. She instead tries to instill in Maddie the confidence to explore her own interests and hopefully gain wealth in the process.

“Betraying Dad seems a cruel act on her behalf, but although I’ve never been one of those children to saint their parents, I can’t think too badly of her. She’s still the mum who let me climb into her bed and skip a day of school when I had the scariest of nightmares; the mum who would come into my room and pray for me every hour when my period pains left me bed-bound; the mum who would brag to anyone listening about having the well-behaved, responsible, A-grade gift from God.”

Maddie’s relationship with her mother is complicated by her parents’ dynamic. She is fairly certain that her mother is having an affair but doesn’t hold it against her because she doesn’t want to judge her. She was raised with love and feels obligated to live up to her mother’s image of her.

“I can understand what’s being said, even when interchanged between Twi and Fante, but I wish I could speak the language. My parents spoke it all the time at home, but James and I only got as far as understanding it, always responding in English. We’d be prompted to do otherwise, but we could never grasp it and I didn’t consider it important in my more adaptable, formative years; all my friends spoke English, and I still understood what my parents were saying regardless, so why bother?”

This quote highlights the gradual loss of Maddie’s heritage. Because she is a child of immigrants, she necessarily adapted to the language and customs of Britain instead of Ghana. Still, she feels a pull toward her Ghanaian culture and regrets not being more in touch with this part of her identity.

“I was used to British rain and struggled under the orange Ghanaian sun; I couldn’t balance anything on my head; I couldn’t sweep the floors because I failed to fit the African broom end into my palm and use the force necessary to have bound-together sticks work effectively.”

Maddie was raised in Britain, so her experiences in Ghana are those of a foreigner. This is a disconnect between her and her parents because her parents know Ghana better. She doesn’t fully belong in Ghana because she’s British, but also doesn’t fully belong in Britain because she’s a Black woman, a minority.

“No, I need this job and, to be honest, it looks likely I’ll get it. They need me. They need me here to appear at least semi-decent to the outside world. It’s easier to talk to others about how important diversity and inclusion is if you can wave a hand vaguely around the office and have me sat in the middle of it.”

Maddie understands her role as a tokenized “other” in the workplace. Because she is a Black woman, she is sometimes offered interviews and positions so her employers can appear diverse. This doesn’t mean she’s unqualified or undeserving of these jobs, but performative diversity doesn’t promise respect. Maddie doesn’t want to be tokenized, but this intersection of racism and sexism will always be a factor while looking for work.

“Maybe it’s not that weird. Maybe that time in my life—the rose petals on the bed and lit candles on the floor—is over, or just not me. Will I regret it, though? Ben knows I’m a virgin, so if it is going to happen on our third date, does he have something special planned? How will I feel if he doesn’t?”

Maddie worries she’s too old for romantic notions of dating and sex. Because she feels late to the world of dating, she doesn’t know how other people her age conceptualize sex and virginity. She wants her first time to be special, with this quote characterizing her as innocent but ready to pursue something with Ben.

“The only thing I can think about is Mum saying he died thirty minutes before, meaning I’d have been there if I’d woken up when I was meant to. I would have seen him one last time, said happy birthday, and kissed his forehead.”

This quote captures a major turning point in the novel. Maddie’s grief over her father’s death is paired with guilt. She could have been with her father when he died but instead was hungover. She tried taking a break from her responsibilities to her father, and, of no fault of her own, this ended up backfiring.

“Pretend to feel the opposite of what you’re really feeling so others won’t feel the same. You can cry in front of me.”

Maddie’s friend Nia encourages her to be more open with her feelings. Because she doesn’t share her feelings, she internalizes external conflicts as internal conflicts. She doesn’t want to be a burden to others, as she has a habit of prioritizing others’ well-being. This is a habit Maddie must break in order to live a balanced, happy life.

“Most daughters—I’d bet at least 90 percent of them—would react to their mother crying, hold her, comfort her, but the sight of mine in this state puts me on edge. I sit in the corner and watch the small TV. Whenever Mum leaves the room, I whisper, ‘I’m not really here. I’m not really here. Everything is fine because I’m not really here.’”

Maddie has a difficult time extending affection and comfort to her mother in the aftermath of her father’s death. She and her mother used to have a good relationship, but it’s been challenged by her mother’s time away in Ghana. She is dealing with her own grief and shock, unable to help her mother process hers. Maddie tries disassociating from the reality of her father’s absence and her mother’s presence.

“I know what to do, how not to bring attention to myself. I’m skilled in assimilation, though my subconscious is quick to remind me that it’s nothing to be proud of. I have spent the entirety of my professional life in predominantly white spaces. As a bookseller, a receptionist, at the theater, and now a publishing house. Over the years, my instinct has been to shrink myself, to make sure I’m not too loud, to talk only about subjects I feel well versed in. Being a big reader has helped. Having been to university has helped too.”

Maddie holds herself back from certain risks and opportunities because she’s internalized her society’s racism and sexism. Rather than approach the world with confidence, she feels like a guest in her own life. In a way, this is a defense mechanism, albeit one that leads to her being taken advantage of.

“I know it might seem too small an action to fit under such a big word, but the simple idea that the white girl he’s seeing as the one to invest in suggests your level of worth to be less than hers, and it isn’t. You are worth everything she is, do you hear me? You are not the problem.”

In this quote, Nia again empowers Maddie by identifying Ben’s racism: Ben puts his white girlfriend on a pedestal, while he treats Maddie, a Black woman, like a mistress. He uses Maddie for sex, and Nia is understandably concerned that Maddie will internalize this treatment and blame herself.

“Not that men who do are somehow superior, but there’s a level of learning and understanding that goes into it. You don’t just date her but her history too. Too much is going on and revealing itself for you to think love will conquer all. Does he educate himself, follow the news, raise his voice in uncomfortable conversations? Does he ever question the system that works very well for him but does the opposite for you? He doesn’t have to do it with a megaphone, but he does have to do it. You don’t want a boyfriend who isn’t racist, Maddie. You need a boyfriend who is actively anti-racist.”

Nia’s monologue addresses the importance of deconstructing racist ideas. People like Ben benefit from societal racism, as their privilege protects them. Part of this privilege is ignorance. Maddie has long internalized this reality and therefore doesn’t expect non-marginalized people to examine racism so they can be better coworkers, friends, or lovers. In relation to Ben, Nia says love can blind a person to expecting more from a partner.

“I bounce my head to the music, attempt high notes, shake my shoulders and consider the possibility that people will think I’m weird. I revel in the fact that I don’t care if they do—secretly, they wish they were as free as I am! I wonder if I’m actually happy or just momentarily distracted.”

This quote captures an unusual moment of joy for Maddie. She finds solace in giving in to music on her bike ride. She ignores what people might think of her and lives in the moment. This freedom is a crucial reprieve from her depression, anxiety, grief, and guilt.

“‘And he did love to read,’ Mum continues. ‘He was once a librarian, before Maddie was born, until he was offered a better-paying job at a private school. His love of reading is where Maddie gets it from.’”

Maddie never knew her father worked in libraries and schools. This is a revelation for her because her love of literature is a direct connection to her father. Though she’s still grieving his death, she finds solace in knowing this shared love keeps him alive. On the other hand, this revelation shows how little Maddie knows about her parents’ past.

“Does Sam really like her? Of course, he does—people like Jo. Men must be attracted to fun, to simplicity, to a lack of baggage. Or at least to someone who can hide their baggage well. My problem is that I’m not simple; I’m not a good time, unless I’m lying or pretending to be okay.”

Maddie compares herself to Jo and decides she herself is unlikeable because she is often stressed. Jo exudes carefree energy because she doesn’t deal with Maddie’s challenges. This quote emphasizes how external conflicts can affect a person’s psyche: Maddie sees her problems as baggage she doesn’t want to place on another person’s shoulders. She assumes people won’t want to be a part of her life because of her problems, this being reinforced by Alex breaking up with her. However, she is a human, and part of being human is having problems.

“‘I’m sure there was a time when I was happy,’ I say to the boiling pot of pasta. ‘But how do you measure that? How do you know if you’re genuinely happy or if you’re just mostly all right, with sprinkles of laughter and occasional shit storms of sadness? Maybe I’ve only ever been all right.’”

One of Maddie’s struggles is determining what happiness is. This quote is an important moment in her character development because it demonstrates she is becoming more honest with herself about her depression. It frames happiness as difficult to define except in its absence.

“I can’t help but feel like I’m in trouble, that I am doing something wrong. You go to therapy if you have serious problems, if you’re a threat to yourself. People lose relatives every day but they’re not all in therapy, so why me?”

Maddie has not been raised to see therapy as a positive. Her mother encouraged her to turn to religion for her depression and anxiety instead of professional help. However, Maddie is depressed and has been long before her father’s death. This quote reveals the anxiety that can come with seeking therapy, as she fears it is something to be ashamed of.

“‘Many assume love is straightforward,’ Angelina continues, ‘when really it is the most complicated of things. There is a right way, a preferred way, for each individual, to love and be loved by someone—but there isn’t only one way. I believe the difficulty of life has much to do with understanding and then navigating how the people you love both express and receive love themselves.’”

A major conflict for Maddie is figuring out what love means for her and her family. In this quote, Angelina helps her understand that love is varied in expression. Even if another person expresses love differently, they should be respected. This helps Maddie understand her family dynamics and open up to the idea that love’s difficulty makes its reward sweeter.

“My parents are not special people, they’re ordinary, and one of my problems is that I’m expecting perfection from ordinary people. They are not saints or masters of knowledge, just people, people who have children, which, last time I checked, required no proficiency test. People who continue to make mistakes, attempt to learn from them and repeat, until death.”

Maddie comes to terms with the fact that, just as her mother needs to change her expectations of her, she herself needs to change her expectations. Because all people are imperfect and on their own journeys, it’s not fair to demand what they can’t give. This quote is important because it demonstrates Maddie’s willingness to let go of her resentment toward her family.

“I don’t like my eulogy because I don’t feel it encapsulates everything, but how could it? How can I, in front of my family, describe that I’m not only mourning my dad but the life I lost when he became sick and the life I’ve lost now that’s he’s gone?”

This quote identifies different layers of Maddie’s grief. It is not just her father whom she is grieving, but a life. She has spent so many years identifying herself in relation to her father. Because Maddie spent years living with and taking care of her ill father, she now has to reimagine her identity and future.

“One day we’ll be orphans; one day I’ll be faced with the question of: who am I without my parents? I know I will never live at home again; that home as I know it may cease to exist.”

Maddie’s next chapter requires a reimagining of her identity without her parents. Her father is dead, and her mother has her own life in Ghana; eventually, her mother will die too. Parents are fundamental in developing the identity of their child, but, ultimately, children grow up and discover who they are separate from their parents. Maddie has yet to do this but is on her way. She must make her own version of home.