Know My Name: A Memoir

In this final chapter, Miller discusses the significance of writing her book. She explains, “[W]riting is the way I process the world” (315). She hopes that as she processes her own experience with sexual assault, she will “show how victims are treated at this moment in time, to record the temperature of our culture” (315).

Miller documents the work of Michele Dauber to recall Judge Persky. By January 2018, Miller reports that “nearly ninety-five thousand local signatures were gathered and submitted” in support of this campaign (318). As the election nears, Miller must implement safety measures to protect herself. Conspiracy theories circulate that call into question the identity of Emily Doe. Some believe that sexual assault advocates wrote the letter, as the language “is so sophisticated from someone who was so young” (319). Although slightly flattered, Miller resents “the implication that victims are frauds, liars, not to be trusted” (319).

In reaction, Miller describes her background with writing. She details her mother’s history as a writer who struggled for free speech in China. These experiences lead Miller not to take “[her] freedom of speech, [her] abundance of books, [her] access to education, [her] ease of first language for granted” (320-21). Miller takes time to express her gratitude to those who “taught [her] how to see the world, to pay attention, to speak up, because [her] opinion was worth something, the ones who told [her] [she] deserved to be heard and seen” (321).

In 2018, Judge Persky is recalled by 62% of the vote. Miller is inspired by the work of the campaign volunteers, who “taught [her] something [she] will know for the rest of [her] life: the world is not fixed” (322). Soon after, Turner’s appeal is denied. Overcome with a sense of freedom, Miller realizes that she “had forgotten it was possible to exist without him, to have a life not tied to his” (322). She looks forward to the healing process and hopes “that one day [she]’ll be able to tell this story without it shaking [her] foundation” (323).

Miller looks back on the ways she used to prefer “to be dissociated […] to believe the goal was forgetting” (323). She now sees that true healing “is not about advancing. It is about returning repeatedly to forage something” (323). She reflects on how writing this book has allowed her to engage in that healing process and gain more control.

Addressing the question of whether she has forgiven her rapist, Miller focuses on how hate “takes up too much space inside the self” (324). Through writing, Miller finds this space for herself to imagine her future. She lists the reasons why she wrote this book: to process her own depression, to reclaim what she lost as a victim, and “to expose the brutality of entitlement, gender violence, and class privilege in our society” (324).

Miller ends her chapter by sharing her reflections on Dr. Christine Ford’s testimony in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee. Miller admires Ford’s willingness to step “straight into the most public, volatile, combative environment imaginable, because she possessed the single thing she needed, the truth” (327). Miller understands the significance of this moment for all survivors.

Miller reflects on the difficulty of her own journey. She notes, “[T]he obstacles became harder, I was up against men more educated, more powerful than me, the game rougher, more graphic, serious” (328). She recalls how “helpless, terrified, humiliated” she felt (328). In the end, she admires her perseverance: “[O]ne by one, they became powerless, fell away, and when the dust settled, I looked around to see who was left” (328). Her final words call upon survivors to keep fighting in spite of the obstacles that stand before them. She cautions them to “stay tender with your power” but most of all to fight just as she did (328).