Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat

“I don’t think the Humans understood my sophisticated language.

Their own speech was as ugly as their long, whiskerless faces. What came out of their mouths was an incomprehensible mix of slurring and grunting.”

This passage reflects Klawde’s thoughts when he first meets Raj’s family, and the humorous portrayal also indicates The Differences between Animals and Humans. Klawde is horrified by the humans’ language and appearance because they are so different from his, and it is clear that both the humans and the cats of Lyttyrboks tend to fear anything that is different from their own experiences. This section also indicates that Klawde feels superior in all situations, not only as the warlord of Lyttyrboks. He immediately discounts the humans’ language as “grunts,” believing his own yowling and meowing are far more “sophisticated.” His lack of understanding of human clothes also shows how he processes new information and uses his own cultural biases to find an explanation for inexplicable things.

“The smallest ogre now appeared to be begging the long-furred ogre for some kind of mercy. I sensed that the long-furred one was the warlord of the fortress, while the small one was some kind of underling. The largest, baldest ogre was clearly lowly as well.”

Here, Klawde observes Raj and his parents as they discuss whether Raj can keep Klawde as a pet. Though Klawde still doesn’t understand the human language, he is able to pick up on the context of the discussion based on tone of voice and nonverbal communication. This scene shows that people from even cultures and languages can find some common ground. This passage also lightly pokes fun at the power dynamics within Raj’s family. Klawde immediately believes that Raj’s mom is in charge, even though she is not the only adult human present. When the cat tries to assign a hierarchy to the humans, he shows that he makes many assessments using his own military background. In this scene, he instinctively assigns rank and can discern who is in command and who is subservient.

“I kept sneaking glances at Klawde, safely back in his cat carrier. When dogs do something bad, they look guilty. Not Klawde.

He was definitely purring now.”

This scene takes place after the incident in which Klawde attacks the vet. Raj’s observations deliver a humorous comparison between cats and dogs, utilizing common stereotypes about cats’ mischievous and unapologetic nature. This moment also foreshadows the fact that Raj will soon learn about Klawde’s true nature and violent personality. In this moment, Klawde is clearly proud of the harm that he has done.

“Strange smells—delicious smells—came from a pot that the long-furred Human was stirring. I spit out the pellets and jumped near the flaming metal box to sample this food, but the long-furred Human pushed me off.

The gall! If only I had my molecular disintegrator, I would have vaporized it. Did this ogre have any idea what I did to the entire population of Poosikat?”

Here, Klawde and the humans have returned from the pet store, and Klawde has rejected his cat food. This moment shows a typical cat behavior from the perspective of an intelligent alien feline. With this whimsical approach to a common occurrence for cat owners, Johnny Marciano combines everyday events with more outlandish details that belong in the science fiction genre, placing Klawde’s character in a familiar context while illustrating his unique quirks. Klawde’s thoughts about disintegrating Raj’s mom also indicate his violent thought processes and his low tolerance for perceived insubordination.

“‘Some fear that humans are destroying the planet, but Earth will be here long after we are gone. Nature is indestructible,’ Turkey Vulture went on. ‘Humans, on the other hand, are not.’”

This dire speech is representative of Turkey Vulture’s harsh outlook on the world, and his viewpoint critiques humanity’s destructive tendencies. Rather than encouraging the idea of humans’ dominance in the world, Turkey Vulture holds more confidence in the enduring power of nature. These lines also serve as a warning that the Earth can only take so much abuse. As Turkey Vulture’s words suggest, once a threshold is passed, nature will become the destroyer, leaving humans to survive as best they can.

“One oddity was how they ate. Why did they use metal tools and weapons to bring their food up to their mouths rather than just bringing their mouths down to the plate? Could they be so stupid that they never thought of it?”

Here, Klawde observes Raj and his family eating, and Klawde’s thoughts create a whimsical example that parallels real-world experiences of culture shock. For the humans, eating with utensils is normal in their culture. However, to Klawde, this process seems inefficient and impractical. While humans regard good “table manners” and use of silverware as a mark of civilized behavior, Klawde immediately assumes that the humans must be less intelligent because they do not eat directly from the plate as he does. The moment therefore exemplifies The Importance of Exploring Different Viewpoints.

“‘Cats!’ Turkey Vulture exclaimed. ‘Wherever they roam, they hunt and murder songbirds. In fact, the domesticated house cat is the only living creature more destructive than human beings!’ Turkey Vulture’s voice grew cold. ‘If human beings truly cared about nature, they would stop letting these savage, evil beasts out of their homes!’”

This venomous speech from Turkey Vulture ironically suggests that he is not entirely in favor of natural things, for he condemns all cats as agents of destruction and fails to see that they, too, are technically part of the natural world. This scene also foreshadows his determination to destroy Klawde during the book’s climax. Though cats are animals and a part of nature, Turkey Vulture dismisses them because he dislikes their detrimental effects on bird populations. The moment suggests that even someone as nature-oriented as Turkey Vulture holds strong biases about certain aspects of the natural world.

 “‘It’s a cultural thing,’ I said. ‘My whole family is vegetarian.’

This wasn’t totally true. My mom’s family was from Karnataka, and they were all serious vegetarians. But Dad snuck hamburgers more than he’d ever admit.”

These lines provide more information about Raj’s heritage and indicate the author’s commitment to promoting diversity in middle-grade literature. Karnataka is a state in the southwestern region of India, and Raj’s mention of vegetarianism introduces valuable ideas about cultural choices. As a country, India has a reputation for being populated by vegetarians, but this is not strictly true; only about 40% of the population self-defines as vegetarian. This number offers additional context for Raj’s family and their beliefs, as well as how those beliefs shape their unique cultural experiences. Raj’s dad choice to “sneak” hamburgers shows that he both embraces his wife’s culture while also holding onto the things he enjoys.

 “This ‘love’ was an entirely un-feline concept. Was it an emotion, like pride or aggression, or a type of illness?

I suspected the latter.”

Here, Klawde has just finished a mind-meld with Raj and gained a deeper understanding of the boy’s world and emotions. Klawde finds himself contemplating the foreign concept of love, and his lack of understanding shows cultural differences between humans and the cats of Lyttyrboks. As he has done before, Klawde attempts to understand love based on the world he knows. Since love seems to make Raj pliable, Klawde concludes that the emotion is harmful and therefore classifies it as an illness.

“‘We never give up,’ Mom said. ‘A Banerjee ALWAYS finishes what she starts!’

‘But, Mom, I’m not a she!’

‘That’s not the point.’”

Prior to this exchange between Raj and his mom, Raj has begged to be allowed to stop attending nature camp because he hates it and it makes him miserable. Raj’s mom refuses with the argument above, which shows her determination and pride in her family’s work ethic. Raj’s response exemplifies that he will do or say anything to get out of camp. When his mother remains unmoved, the narrative indicates that Klawde was correct to assume that she is in charge.

“‘What kind of special alien powers do you have?’ I whispered through the door. ‘Are you as powerful as Americaman?’ I asked. ‘What is life like on your cat planet? Is there oxygen there? Trees? Mice? Houses?’”

This excerpt comes shortly after Klawde reveals the truth to Raj—that he is an alien cat from another planet. Raj is immediately fascinated by this information and wants to know everything about Lyttyrboks. The questions that Raj asks here show the priorities of his interests. His reference to a superhero indicates that he still sees the world in rather cartoonish terms, and only then does he move on to more practical questions about living conditions on Lyttyrboks.

“Disappointed was not the word.

Disappointed was when the Knicks lost a game.

Disappointed was when the ice-cream shop ran out of chocolate.

Disappointed was when I left my new stack of comics on the subway.

But this? Learning that my pet was a Kind Alien Warlord Cat, and the next day finding out that he was leaving? That was a billion times more disappointing than any disappointment ever!”

These bombastic lines reveal the depths of Raj’s attachment to Klawde and foreshadow the fact that Raj will learn several important lessons from the cat—both about fighting his battles and about dealing with loss. The disappointments that Raj references here also outline common childhood experiences, and as Raj works through his emotions, he demonstrates the importance of sifting through one’s feelings.

“‘The year is 2047, and global warming has caused the seas to rise one hundred feet. The world economy has been destroyed. No technology exists! The internet is DEAD!’ […] ‘What few humans remain have taken to higher ground, and only those who can adapt will survive. The question you must ask yourself is… will you be one of them?’”

This speech from Turkey Vulture lays out the terms for Survival Night and the world that the kids will pretend they live in during the game. Though this speech is dramatized for effect to inspire the kids, the author uses Turkey Vulture’s overexaggerated scenario to refer to current environmental issues.

“‘We have a saying on my planet: All is fair in war!’

‘Oh, we have that saying, too,’ he said. ‘Except it’s all is fair in love and war.’”

This exchange between Klawde and Raj exemplifies The Importance of Exploring Different Viewpoints while also showing that these same viewpoints can display crucial similarities. Though Raj and Klawde are from vastly different planets and cultures, their respective species have developed this nearly identical saying, indicating that some concepts are universal. However, because Klawde’s saying omits any mention of love, this quirk reflects the fact that love is a foreign concept to the cats of Lyttyrboks.

“‘Most cats actually seem pretty, uh, happy these days? General Ffangg made furcare a universal right, and everyone is super-excited about the unlimited free trips to the exuviating parlor.’

‘He’s trying to buy them off! It’s an insult! The good felines of Lyttyrboks must see through his sneaky ways!’”

These lines are part of a greater discussion between Klawde and his loyal follower back on Lyttyrboks. In the wake of Klawde’s banishment, one of his former loyal generals has taken over the planet and has made life better for the cats of Lyttyrboks by giving them rights that they did not have under Klawde. Klawde’s response shows his lust for power and his undying belief that no leader would improve life for their followers without an ulterior motive. While the exchange here is meant to be comical, it also delivers an oversimplified version of the political power struggles that appear in the real world.

“‘I’ve heard all about that camp. My brother’s friend went last year. He said that on the last night of the camp, a kid died!’ […] 

 ‘This sounds like a most excellent camp!” Klawde said. “I really do not know why you complain about it so much.’”

This dialogue creates a humorous contrast between Raj’s reality and Klawde’s misinterpretation of human norms. The first section of dialogue is spoken by a girl who lives in Raj’s neighborhood. Her take on nature camp and Survival Night serve to increase Raj’s anxiety about the whole experience, but Klawde finds her description of the camp and Survival Night to be glorious because it reminds him of the harsh conditions that he promoted as the supreme leader of Lyttyrboks.

“‘You must not shrink from tonight’s war. Reach down beneath your fur—or whatever that is covering your hideous body—and bring out the inner feline: the battle cat!’ I cried. ‘As I said to my troops before the War of Skratshink Poast, it is better to die ten thousand deaths than turn tail and run! An army need not be stronger—only smarter! And crueler!’”

This rallying speech from Klawde comes as Raj prepares for Survival Night and expresses his fears. Since Klawde has already decided that Raj’s camp is an excellent experience for the boy, he does not understand why Raj is so afraid. Instead, Klawde views Survival Night as a chance for Raj to find a new sense of inner strength, which emphasizes the novel’s focus on Embracing Challenges to Achieve Growth. Klawde’s references to past battles on Lyttyrboks show that his military experiences have shaped who he is and how he approaches conflicts. Though Klawde is being serious, the mention of a battle named after a common Earth cat toy brings humor to the speech and links Lyttyrboks to Earth cats.

“‘Hey, you can’t use ROCKS!’ Cedar yelled at them. ‘That’s against the rules!’

‘Rules?’ Newt scoffed. ‘There’s no such thing as rules on Survival Night!’”

This exchange between two of the girls participating in Survival Night shows that the campers have internalized Turkey Vulture’s lectures differently. Cedar, one of Raj’s teammates, cites the rules when she argues that Scorpion’s team cannot throw rocks. However, Newt, a member of Scorpion’s team, has taken Turkey Vulture’s harsh speeches to heart. This dynamic shows that adults’ words can have a profound impact on children’s behavior and beliefs, even when some of these ideas are outlandish or over-exaggerated.

“‘But we’re all going to the same school!’ she said. ‘There’s only one middle school in this town.’

My heart sank. The thought had never occurred to me. In Brooklyn, no one went to the same middle school. There were hundreds of them!”

This excerpt is a reminder of how much Raj’s world has changed from the life he knew in New York. In his old life, Raj thought nothing of going to school without his friends; New York had so many schools that he never expected his friends to join in that part of his life. In his new town, however, the population is substantially lower, which means that the community can only support one middle school. Thus, Raj is forced to view his relationships outside of school in a new way. Rather than separating his summer experiences from what he’ll experience at school, he must deal with the fact that his actions over the summer will affect his experiences and relationships during the next school year. This comment also sets the stage for future installments of the series.

“I was no longer on vile Earth. I was rocketing through space, flying past exploding nebulas. I watched stars being born, and entire new galaxies bursting into being—all of them ready to bow down before me! I was not just the ruler of one planet. I ruled the entire universe! HA-HA-HA!

Then I woke from my nap.”

This segment of Klawde’s thoughts comes after he enjoys a catnip toy and falls asleep. Marciano uses this scene to poke fun at real-world cats’ fixation on catnip, creating a scenario in which the smell of the toy sends Klawde off to experience intense dreams that show him his greatest desires. His focus on achieving power is once again emphasized, foreshadowing his ongoing efforts to improve his situation and return to reconquer his home world.

“Cedar’s eyes got fierce. ‘They’re closing in on us,’ she whispered. ‘We’ve got to scatter, and then it’s every man for himself. Only one of us needs to survive, remember?’ She reached down to the mud of the path and spread it across her cheeks. ‘Camouflage!’ she said. And then—like a shadow—she vanished.”

These lines show Cedar’s commitment to Survival Night and indicate that she has learned many useful tips from Turkey Vulture. When she realizes that Scorpion’s team has the upper hand, she starts planning new strategies to help her team win. She knows that she can’t beat Scorpion and his team in a fair fight, so she relies on her strengths—blending into her environment and keeping quiet. This scene reveals Cedar’s quick thinking, as she has internalized Turkey Vulture’s practical lessons about survival.

“Thankfully, this vehicle operated on push-button technology. (Why couldn’t the Humans do this with everything?) With a press of my paw, I started the engine; with another, I put it into drive mode and set the speed control.

The brake was out of the reach of my hind paws, but who needed brakes? What I needed was speed!

As for finding the boy-Human, that would be no problem. Because I had chipped him in his sleep, the tracker in my communicator showed me exactly where he was.

Even at the sluggish pace of—what was it now?—107 miles per hour, I began to purr as I rolled down the open road.”

This scene once again strikes a humorous note by comparing Klawde’s disdainful opinion of human technology as he rushes to rescue Raj. Klawde’s thoughts show him in his element—going off to battle. He is efficient and ruthless, focusing only on his next goal. His observation that the speed of 107 miles per hour is a “sluggish pace” indicates that the cats of Lyttyrboks have manufactured superior travel technology.

“‘A CAT!’ the creature yelled. ‘Behold, campers, this vile and destructive creature! This killer of songbirds! This murderer of chipmunks! This perfidious predator!’

I know—it sounds complimentary. But I took offense at the creature’s tone.”

This moment of conflict between Turkey Vulture and Klawde brings Turkey Vulture’s dislike of cats full circle. In this scene, he is enraged beyond reason at Klawde’s presence because his hatred for cats cannot be contained. Klawde’s appreciation for Turkey Vulture’s insults also symbolizes the differences between cultures. Under other circumstances, Klawde would revel in being called such names, but here, he recognizes the words for the insult they are and changes his response accordingly.