Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat

On Friday night, Raj tells Klawde about how miserable camp is. Meanwhile, Klawde yowls and jumps at the closed door of Raj’s room. When Raj finally says that he just wants to move back to Brooklyn, the cat looks at Raj, “and then Klawde said something. In English” (96).

Desperate for Raj to stop talking and help him, Klawde explains that his real name is Wyss-Kuzz and that he was banished across the universe. He lies and claims that he was a kind and peaceful warlord. Raj is thrilled because he has the coolest cat in the world, and he thinks it’s adorable that Klawde’s real name is Whiskers. Klawde tries to argue that his name is Wyss-Kuzz, not Whiskers, but Raj insists, “Sounds like Whiskers to me” (100). Because Klawde needs Raj’s help, he doesn’t incinerate the boy on the spot.

The next morning, Raj wonders if he dreamed that Klawde spoke to him, but when he finds Klawde sitting on the toilet and reading a newspaper, Raj realizes it’s all true. He exclaims, “I had the best pet EVER!” (102). Raj can’t wait to tell all his friends back home, but Klawde orders him not to do this, explaining that his own situation is highly sensitive. Instead, Raj must help Klawde build a teleporter so that the cat can return to Lyttyrboks.

Raj is sad that Klawde wants to leave and starts to cry. Klawde placates Raj, saying that he wants Raj to come with him. He suddenly realizes that Raj could help him to reconquer Lyttyrboks. Klawde points out all the terrible things about Raj’s situation, including nature camp and his new school. Raj looks hopeless, which thrills Klawde, who thinks, “The Most High Throne would once again be mine!” (109).

Although Raj enjoys helping Klawde build his teleporter, he is still disappointed that his cat is leaving. As they work, Raj asks Klawde if he misses Lyttyrboks. When Klawde says he misses even the less pleasant parts, Raj admits that he misses Brooklyn the same way. Klawde concludes, “We are both in exile” (113).

To get the parts he’ll need, Klawde has Raj purchase them online. When Klawde goes to the window to receive them, Raj explains that the parts will not arrive for two days. This news enrages Klawde, who asks, “What kind of instant ordering takes two days?” (114). Still, they are making good progress, and Klawde estimates that he will be able to leave in four days.

Survival Night will be at the end of camp’s second week. On Monday, the campers prepare by racing to build shelters atop the camp’s mountain. A girl on Scorpion’s team tells Raj about a shortcut. Raj runs that way until he finds a fence with a sign that reads “PATH TO SUMMIT CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE” (120) and realizes that she tricked him.

Later, Klawde is annoyed at Raj’s fixation on being tricked at camp, seeing the boy’s complaints as a waste of time. When Raj asks for advice, Klawde suggests declawing the girl and ripping off her tail. When Raj argues that she doesn’t have claws or a tail, Klawde cannot believe how unimaginative Raj is. Klawde offers wisdom from his world about having a great heart, but he cannot tell whether Raj is impressed by this.

Raj starts to wonder if Klawde is really an evil warlord, but even if he is, Raj doesn’t care. He says that Klawde is “still [his] Evil Alien Warlord Cat, and [he] didn’t want him to leave Earth” (127).

When Raj’s dad tries to pet Klawde, the cat bites him and then purrs because “it had been far too long since I injured something” (128). Klawde’s supplies are delivered, and he finishes building the teleporter, as well as a communication device, which he uses to call his one loyal follower on Lyttyrboks.