Iona Iverson's Rules for Commuting

18:17 Waterloo to Hampton Court

Iona feels optimistic. Ed, her editor, has scheduled a meeting for the next day, but she feels that with the help of Emmie, Sanjay, and Martha, her columns have been causing a stir, and she hopes Ed intends to celebrate her 30th anniversary with the magazine. She encourages Sanjay to get over Emmie, and he replies that Iona is “just a frustrated old woman with nothing better to do than interfere in other people’s lives” (152). These words deeply hurt Iona. At the Surbiton station, she sees an irate woman on the platform. Piers says it is his wife, Candida.

Candida confronts Piers, having learned he lost his job three months ago. He confesses that he was made redundant. He’s been day trading with his severance package and has lost three-quarters of it. Now exposed, Piers snaps. The next morning, not knowing what to do, he dresses in casual clothes and drives his Porsche to the subway platform. He walks to the edge.

07:59 Surbiton to Waterloo

Martha is worried that Piers intends to jump from the train platform. She’s come to appreciate his help. She feels her audition went fairly well and things have been getting better at school. Piers appears to be in shock, and Martha calls Candida. On the train, Martha sits next to Jake. They both wonder where Iona is. Jake owns a gym and gives Martha a free pass, telling her that if she’s dealing with bullies, she should learn how to throw a punch.

Julie Harrison asks Sanjay to cut her hair, which is falling out from the chemo treatments. Sanjay coaches Julie’s husband and son to remind Julie she is beautiful. He has another, quite severe panic attack and decides to ask Iona for help.

Piers finds it hard to get out of bed in the morning. Candida discusses how to get their finances back in order. Piers feels stripped down to the lost boy he used to be, whose real name is Kevin. Candida tells Piers he should talk to someone, and he thinks of Iona.

Martha pretends she is Other Martha, who has friends and is a brilliant actress, kind of like Iona. The cast list is posted, and Martha has the part of Juliet. She wants to tell Martha and waits on Platform 5 to see Iona, but train after train passes, and Iona is in none of them.

18:40 Waterloo to Hampton Court

Iona ducks into a tourist shop to avoid Martha. She is dressed up for what she thought would be her 30th anniversary party. Feeling deflated and useless, she boards a different carriage, and cries. No one says a word to her. Rather, people walk away, or stand up, “rather than face the old woman whose life was falling apart” (181).

08:19 New Malden to Waterloo

Sanjay feels guilty that he has been avoiding Emmie and Iona on the train. He looks for Iona, wanting to talk to her about his insomnia and panic attacks. He sees Piers in casual clothes. Piers admits he was fired and was taking the train so his wife wouldn’t figure out what had happened. He’s hoping to talk to Iona, too, but Iona isn’t on the train. Sanjay wonders if she’s trying to avoid him after what he said.

08:08 Thames Ditton to Waterloo

Emmie has cooked a pie from her mother’s recipe. At Toby’s urging, she’s begun working from home more often. Emmie confesses she’s not happy trying to write ad copy for toothpaste. Toby suggests she should strike out on her own. His tech company can be her first client. Emmie feels like her world is getting smaller, rather than bigger. She wishes she could ask Iona for advice. She takes the train and encounters Martha, who shares that she got the part of Juliet. Emmie helps her rehearse, but they both wonder where Iona is.

08:13 Surbiton to Waterloo

Piers sits on the train with Emmie, Martha, and Sanjay, and David. They wonder where Iona is, recognizing that she brought them together. They share their different names for her: Rainbow Lady, Crazy Dog Woman, Magic Handbag Lady. Martha tries to imagine what Iona would do. Sanjay stands and shouts to the other commuters, asking if anyone knows how to get in touch with Iona. No one does.

Emmie calls Fizz and learns that Iona resigned three weeks ago after Ed said they were bringing in someone else to write her column. Iona called Ed names and stormed out. Piers realizes everyone in the carriage is listening to the story. David says they know Iona boards at Hampton Court, so they should meet there and look for her.

Iona feels worthless. She is trying to keep a routine. She misses her train friends. The last time she felt this low, she recalls, was in 1991, when she was ambushed and beaten in an alley outside a party by men who attacked her for being a lesbian. Bea called the police and took care of Iona, insisting they would not let men like that stop them. Bea said, “If you give up, they win […] They want us to be small, so we have to stand tall. They want us to be invisible, so we have to be seen. They want us to be quiet, so we have to be heard. They want us to surrender, so we have to fight” (201). Iona doesn’t know how to fight aging.

09:10 New Malden to Hampton Court

Sanjay takes the train toward Hampton Court and Emmie boards at Thames Ditton. They both admit they are looking forward to finding Iona. Sanjay promises that he will try to be Emmie’s friend. They stop at a coffee shop and Sanjay goes in. When he comes out, Emmie is gone.