In Memoriam

The soldiers go into the village for rest. As officers, Gaunt and Ellwood share a room, but Ellwood realizes how uncomfortable Gaunt is being alone with him and suggests that they just go to sleep.

That night, Gaunt has nightmares about Hayes’s death, waking Ellwood up. Ellwood goes to Gaunt’s bed and comforts him. Gaunt apologizes for how he has acted, confessing that he is constantly terrified and overwhelmed by the war. Realizing that Gaunt is still shaking, Ellwood places his legs on him to comfort him but then feels Gaunt’s erection. They lie together in silence, with Ellwood realizing that he is “more aroused than he ha[s] ever been in his life” (99). He moves his hand down to Gaunt’s waist and feels Gaunt move his hips in response, but then Gaunt pushes Ellwood off. He makes light of the situation, telling Ellwood to go back to his bunk and try to sleep.

The next morning, Ellwood catches Gaunt leaving for a walk and joins him. They walk to a clearing, talking mostly about war and poetry. It begins to rain. As Ellwood joyously stands in the rain, he catches Gaunt watching him from under a tree. He goes to Gaunt, who then surprises him by dropping to Ellwood’s knees, lowering his pants, and performing oral sex on him.

Ellwood looks down at Gaunt and is overwhelmed by a “surreal” feeling. He sees that Gaunt pleasures him with “disturbing proficiency, as if he were performing a duty for someone he didn’t respect” (102). He gently stops Gaunt, who becomes embarrassed. Ellwood struggles to process why Gaunt is touching him, having convinced himself that Gaunt is not sexually attracted to men. He unbuttons Gaunt’s pants and performs oral sex on him as well.

Afterward, Ellwood and Gaunt look at each other, with Ellwood realizing that they have never even kissed. They lean toward each other and Ellwood pauses, certain that Gaunt will get up. Instead, Gaunt pulls him to him and kisses him. Then, he again uses his mouth on Ellwood, and Ellwood wonders how long Gaunt has wanted him or if he is just doing this as an effect of the war. When Gaunt finishes, he gets up without saying anything and walks away.

As the two walk back to the village, Ellwood thinks how Gaunt must “hate” him and what they just did together. Gaunt angrily asks Ellwood what poem he is thinking of, and Ellwood lies and says that he is thinking about “The Charge of the Light Brigade.” In reality, he is thinking of “They Flee From Me,” a poem by Thomas Wyatt about the loss of Anne Boleyn. Gaunt angrily forces him to recite it, knowing that Ellwood is lying about which poem he was thinking of. Gaunt then grows calm again, talking about the beautiful sky as the two continue to walk. However, he comments on the fact that he feels like a “ghost” and grows distant as they near the village. Once there, the two go their separate ways without another word.

That night, Gaunt comes into their room and talks with Ellwood. Ellwood is still confused about Gaunt’s feelings and is unsure of what to say. Gaunt shocks him by asking about boys Ellwood has been with in the past, but Ellwood insists that they were just “playing.” Gaunt explains that their friendship means too much to him, and Ellwood tries to convince him that their friendship won’t change and that things will go back to “normal” after the war. Gaunt kisses Ellwood, and the two have sex, with Ellwood noticing how submissive and hurried Gaunt is. He tries to slow him down and reassure him that it can be a “delicate” act.

The following night, the two have sex again. Ellwood is baffled by the way that Gaunt ignores him during the day, still wondering if Gaunt hates him or if Gaunt is mentally unwell. On their final night together, Gaunt is a wreck over their impending return to the trenches. He insists that their relationship cannot continue after they go back. They sleep in separate beds, with Gaunt repeatedly waking up with nightmares.

Ellwood and Gaunt spend the next six days in the trenches, barely speaking to each other. Gaunt drinks more and becomes more distant. Ellwood becomes more certain that Gaunt is becoming a different person, haunted by the war. He still sees traces of the old Gaunt occasionally when they look at each other, but Ellwood fears that this new Gaunt is completely taking over the old.

The soldiers then return to the village. Ellwood sits in their room, reading Alfred, Lord Tennyson and waiting for Gaunt to come up. When he finally does, Ellwood recites poetry to him, causing Gaunt to lose his “hardened” look. However, when Ellwood mentions Sandys saying that Tennyson was gay, Gaunt becomes distant again. Ellwood struggles to figure out if it was the word “homosexual” or the mention of Sandys that upset him.

Before Gaunt leaves, Ellwood asks him about Sandys. Gaunt insists that Sandys did nothing wrong. Ellwood apologizes for bringing it up, and Gaunt angrily tells him that it doesn’t matter since Sandys is dead. He starts crying at the door with his back to Ellwood. Ellwood rests his head between Gaunt’s shoulder blades until he calms down.

That night, Gaunt screams in his sleep, and Ellwood sleeps in his bed to comfort him. During the day, Gaunt performs oral sex on Ellwood in a field. In their time together, Ellwood “pretend[s] Gaunt love[s] him” while being unsure of what Gaunt really feels (119). That night, Gaunt does not even attempt to sleep, despite Ellwood’s efforts to calm him down and comfort him.

Gaunt, Ellwood, and the other soldiers are sent to France. On the train, the officers sit in a compartment together. Ellwood rests his head on Gaunt’s shoulder. Gaunt looks around but realizes that all the men are in physical contact with each other in different ways. As he rests his head on Ellwood’s, he thinks of how, if he were a woman, he could hold his hand or even give him a ring.

In France, the men are told that they will have three weeks of rest in the village, which allows Ellwood and Gaunt to distance themselves from the war. They spend the time reading poetry, kissing, and having sex.

Gaunt gets a letter from Maud telling him that she has been working with the nurses. She also asks about Ellwood. Gaunt thinks about how close he and Maud used to be as children until they went to school. Then, when Ellwood became interested in Maud, Gaunt’s jealousy made it so that he would never be close with Maud again. He writes her a short response.

Over the weeks in the village, the soldiers grow restless knowing that a battle is coming. Gaunt sleeps less and drinks more, and his sex with Ellwood becomes rougher and less passionate.

Gaunt and Ellwood run into Burgoyne, a student from Preshute who used to torment Ellwood. He works in the village as a war strategist. Ellwood treats him harshly, insulting him for never having seen battle. Gaunt defends him, commenting that they shouldn’t “judge men” based on whether they’ve “seen a dead body” (133).

On September 25, the battle begins. Both sides are now using gas, and Ellwood, Gaunt, and their battalion go into No Man’s Land between the two sides’ trenches. Immediately, the men are assailed by machine-gun fire and surrounded by a thick, green gas. When an explosion sends Gaunt into a pile of bodies, he loses his gas mask and struggles to hold his breath. He retreats to the trenches and the battalion’s dugout, where he desperately searches for Ellwood.

Gaunt finds Ellwood, unharmed, in the officer’s bunk. The two kiss each other, frantic but relieved to have survived. Ellwood pleads with Gaunt to try to go home, convinced that they will be allowed because they are 18, but Gaunt insists that they need to stay now. As Ellwood begins to sob, Burgoyne appears in the doorway. He expresses his shock at finding Ellwood “sniveling” and his disgust that Gaunt is a “pervert” (140). Despite Gaunt’s best efforts to stop him, Ellwood angrily strikes Burgoyne in the face. Burgoyne is technically their superior, and he angrily tells them that they will be punished. Gaunt tries to get him to stop, but Burgoyne leaves.

Hayes comes to the bunk and informs them that 140 men died. They begin to drink whisky and hand out rations when the phone rings. Gaunt speaks on the line and then hangs up, visibly distraught as he tries to light a cigarette. He tells Ellwood that they have been ordered to find three men and take them out that night to find a German soldier to take as prisoner. As Ellwood leaves to find volunteers, Gaunt tells Hayes not to tell Ellwood that their mission is “murder” (142).

Gaunt and Ellwood prepare for their mission. Gaunt tries to explain the plan to Ellwood, but Ellwood interrupts him by reciting lines from Tennyson’s poem In Memoriam about love. He then recites poetry from William Shakespeare and John Keats, with Gaunt interrupting him each time to talk about the map and their plan. Finally, Ellwood pulls Gaunt to him and kisses him, with neither concerned about who could come in, as they are convinced that they are going to die that night. Ellwood demands that Gaunt finally “understand” how he feels, just as Hayes comes back to tell them it is time to go. As they leave the bunker, Gaunt thinks of how “it had been hopeless to love Ellwood because Ellwood did not love him back, and now it [i]s hopeless even though he d[oes]” (146).

Gaunt, Ellwood, and three other soldiers sneak to the German trenches in the pouring rain. Ellwood throws a bomb as a distraction as Gaunt and the others jump over the side of the trench. One of the men is shot instantly and killed. Gaunt grabs a German soldier and hoists him over the side to Ellwood. As Gaunt turns to climb back out, he is shot in the chest.