I'm Glad My Mom Died

Jennette’s mother asks her father to take Jennette to dance class before her acting classes later that day. Jennette’s mother had signed her up for 14 dance classes a week after Jennette did poorly at an audition for a Paula Abdul music video. To Jennette’s own surprise, she enjoys dance class. It lets her get out of her head, and she is relieved to not be under her mother’s watchful eye. While it doesn’t happen often, she likes it when her father takes her to dance class, because he doesn’t yell at anyone at the studio like her mother does. Her parents have a very strained relationship, and Jennette is always busy with her acting career. She remembers the few occasions that they have spent time together well but doesn’t feel she is as close to him as she does her mom: “Being around Mom can be tiring, sure, but at least I know what to do to make her happy. Around Dad, I never really know. It’s less work, but it’s also less rewarding” (81).

He suggests that they bike to her dance class, which excites Jennette. As they bike back from class, he insists that they stop for smoothies. While they are in line, waiting for their smoothies, Jennette realizes she will be late to acting class, incurring the anger of her mother, but decides against reminding her dad. When they return, it is too late for Jennette to go to class, and her mother flies into a rage, screaming obscenities and insults at her father.

Jennette has yet to get her “big break” in Hollywood, and instead has had a “bunch of little breaks” (86). She lists her roles since the MadTV pilot, which include an episode of Malcolm in the Middle, a national commercial, and an independent movie. The national commercial gets her residuals, so she has enough money to buy an oak bunk bed. Her mother eventually fills the top bunk with trash from her hoarding.

Despite not having a breakthrough role, Barbara still feels confident that Jennette will be successful, telling Jennette’s mother to be patient during a phone call. Frustrated, Jennette’s mom hangs up.

Jennette is waiting to audition in her fourth callback for a role in Princess Paradise Park, a feature studio film. The role has been narrowed down to her and one other girl her age. Jennette’s mother tells Jennette that if she gets this role, she won’t have to do auditions anymore. As Jennette fantasizes about what it would be like to not set herself up for rejection, she hears the voice of the Holy Ghost, or her Still Small Voice. The Mormon faith has taught her to anticipate communication with God: “The Holy Ghost is a great guy up in heaven who helps out Heavenly Father and Jesus […] he lives in each and every one of us Mormons” (92). Hearing this voice for the first time, the Holy Ghost instructs Jennette to do a series of rituals like unlocking and relocking the bathroom door, twirling around, and touching her underwear band before her audition. Dutifully, Jennette obeys before heading out to perform.