If He Had Been with Me

Finny is both the story’s protagonist and antagonist. As Autumn’s oldest friend and strongest supporter, Finny is always present in Autumn’s life, and willing to do whatever she needs to help her get through the day. At the same time, he and Autumn are no longer friends, and he surrounds himself with people Autumn considers her enemies.

Autumn often looks back on their childhood friendship with fondness, thinking of all the times Finny supported her, such as the time he hit a boy for calling her a freak. She grieves the loss of their connection throughout high school, especially when she realizes she loves him. Finny doesn’t show Autumn that he has always loved her. He appears to side with his friends, who pick a fight with Autumn and her friends over a lunchroom table, making him seem like an antagonist. However, when she finds him sitting at the table one day and confronts him, he relinquishes it without a fight, calling his antagonism into question.

As the novel progresses, Finny’s character is hidden from the reader, who can only appreciate him through Autumn’s eyes. The reader doesn’t learn until the book’s end that Finny’s actions have been motivated by affection. Autumn learns after their high school graduation that Finny has loved her since middle school. Finny’s decision to be friends with Autumn’s enemies was not done to hurt her. Instead, Autumn’s so-called enemies were actually her friends in middle school, and felt that it was Autumn who ended their relationship.

In the end, the narrative reveals that Finny is a kind, gentle person who has only wanted the best for Autumn. This new understanding of his character makes him a protagonist and his death a tragedy.

Jamie is a minor character in the novel. When Autumn begins high school and seeks to build a new friend group, Jamie joins. He becomes a love interest when Autumn begins to see him as a potential boyfriend. Autumn and Sasha both find Jamie attractive, but Autumn is the one who wins him over.

Through Autumn’s relationship with Jamie, the novel explores The Impact of Adolescent Intimacy. Autumn sees Jamie as her partner for life despite the fact that she and Jamie are only 14. They discuss marriage and children, professions, and sex. Within these discussions, Jamie begins to exhibit controlling behavior, illustrating how some men attempt to control women. He pressures her to become a teacher, encourages her to drink, and pushes her to have sex.

Jamie also acts as a plot device, as he is an obstacle that Finny must overcome. Jamie is a foil for Finny, or a character that illuminates another character’s traits through opposing qualities. His attitude of male superiority highlights Finny’s kindness and egalitarianism, showing how Finny is more supportive and understanding of Autumn’s dreams, and thus the more desirable partner. Jamie’s betrayal of Autumn with Sasha reinforces that he is the less appropriate boyfriend.

Sasha begins the novel as Autumn’s best friend. Autumn and Sasha knew each other in middle school and were part of the same friend group, but both felt they were pushed out of that group because of their disinterest in and inability to make the cheerleading squad. Sasha is a minor character; she begins as Autumn’s partner in building new friendships and remains a confidant until the final chapters of the novel.

Sasha, like Autumn, focuses on boys and relationships more than anything else. She seems benign; Autumn doesn’t notice when she begins spending an extraordinary amount of time with Jamie, forgetting that Sasha was once also attracted to Jamie.

Sasha becomes an antagonist when Jamie announces that he and Sasha have fallen in love and intend to be together. Sasha believes that Autumn can forgive her and remain her friend, but Autumn quickly shuts that idea down. While Sasha remains in Autumn’s peripheral, she becomes less of a character and more of a mode for pushing Autumn and Finny closer.