If He Had Been with Me

Autumn and her friends attend Angie and Dave’s quick wedding at the courthouse. Autumn tells Jamie they’re next, but her thoughts drift to Finny.

On Christmas, Finny and Autumn hang out in front of the television while they wait for dinner to be ready. Finny says he’s going to miss having gym with Autumn and suggests they hang out sometime. Autumn refuses because of Jamie, causing tension to build between them.

The night after Autumn’s parents tell her they are getting divorced, Autumn calls Jamie for comfort. She called him the night before, but he was at a movie with Sasha and failed to call her back. He agrees to come to her house.

Autumn’s depression returns and the doctor increases her medication. Jamie suggests she gets a sun lamp to help, making Autumn feel he is tired of taking care of her. Autumn and her mom have dinner at Angelina’s almost every night, so she often does her homework with Finny. She hears that Sylvie is going to Europe for the summer and taking a year off school. Sasha has broken up with Alex again, and Angie has moved into a basement apartment with Dave in his parents’ home.

As they shop for prom dresses, Angie and Autumn discuss Finny’s run for prom king. Angie finds a dress, but Autumn doesn’t, so she goes shopping with her mom, picking out a beige and black dress they both decide is perfect.

On prom night, Jamie criticizes Sasha’s dress but compliments Autumn’s. They take pictures with Finny and Sylvie, with Sylvie asking about Autumn’s lack of a tiara. The boys laugh when Autumn says tiaras are an everyday thing, but “this is a special night” (237). Sylvie thinks they are making fun of her. Finny and Sylvie are crowned king and queen of the prom, and Autumn shares a sweet moment with Jamie during which he promises not to leave her.

Autumn asks Jamie about their plan to be intimate as he drives her home one day. He brushes her off, telling her he’s more concerned with passing his finals. When she says she loves him, he only says “Me too.”

After graduation, Autumn struggles to find her mom in the crowd. Her mom and Angelina insist on taking pictures of Autumn and Finny together. He congratulates her and she wonders what for, perhaps for simply surviving four years of high school. They smile at each other in the moment their mothers take their photograph.

Jamie calls early in the morning and asks to come over. Autumn waits for him outside and Finny briefly joins her.

Later, Jamie tells her he can’t be the person she needs him to be and initially blames Autumn’s family history of depression. He then admits that he is in love with Sasha, and that they slept together a few days before prom. He claims both he and Sasha love her. They delayed telling her to avoid ruining prom and graduation for her. Autumn asks Jamie to leave, telling him that she never plans to be friends with him or Sasha again.

After three days, Autumn’s mom tries to get her out of bed. When she fails, Finny volunteers to come over. This inspires Autumn to get up and shower. Finny drags her out to get ice cream. They go to the park and talk about Sylvie’s trip to Europe, and Sasha and Jamie’s betrayal. Finny sympathizes with Autumn, assuring her she’s better off. Finny takes Autumn home and invites her to breakfast the next morning.

The next morning, the mothers show joy in Autumn and Finny going to breakfast together. At breakfast, Autumn and Finny discuss Sylvie and Autumn’s friends again, talking about Jamie’s desire that they all remain friends. When they get home, Autumn expresses fear she might call Jamie to yell at him. Finny invites her to hang out in his room so that he can keep her from calling Jamie.

Autumn and Finny spend a week together, hanging out in his room. Finny’s friend, Jack, calls and asks to meet. Autumn assures him she’ll be okay alone.

Her parents are signing divorce papers that day and she’s restless until she gets a new idea for a story. She stops long enough to have dinner with her mom, and then goes back to writing. Later, Finny calls and realizes she can see him through her bedroom window.

Later that night, Autumn gets a text that Angie had her baby. Jamie texts soon after to ask if she needs a ride to see the baby girl. Autumn is angry and doesn’t respond. Finny agrees to drive her to see the infant. They arrive a little late and all Autumn’s friends are already there. Autumn holds the baby and tries to ignore the fact that Jamie and Sasha are sitting together. She convinces Finny to hold the baby, and Angie makes a comment about how sexy a man holding a baby can be. The others decide to get some food after their visit. Sasha invites Finny and Autumn but Finny fibs, claiming they are going to see a movie. When they leave, they decide to really go see a movie.

Autumn and Finny have gotten into the habit of staying out late at night and hanging out in his room during the day. Autumn is working on a novel and Finny wants to read it. She doesn’t want to share it with him because she’s worried he’ll recognize the characters are based on real people in her life.

Autumn meets up with Finny after going to a movie with Brooke. She tells him that her friends all still want to be her friend. She admits she’s relieved, but that she doesn’t see how they can still be friends since they’re all going in different directions. Finny asks if she can really drop her friends that easily. He accuses her of making assumptions about Sylvie, and tells her that Sylvie is intimidated by her. He clearly isn’t angry because he asks what they’ll be doing the next day.

Finny and Autumn sit together by the lake, waiting for Fourth of July fireworks. Autumn thinks back on the past six years, remembering how close they were when they were 15.

Finny invites Autumn to see a horror movie with him and Jack. Autumn and Jack hit it off immediately. After the movie, Autumn, Jack, and Finny get drunk behind Finny and Autumn’s homes. Jack asks about Autumn’s breakup with Jamie and she tells him what happened.

When Finny leaves, Jack asks Autumn if she’s playing with Finny’s heart. He explains that Finny was hung up on her since middle school and Jack doesn’t want to see him hurt again. Jack asks Autumn not to tell Finny he told her.