I Must Betray You

Cristian speaks with Dan about two weeks later. Dan invites him into his bedroom to give him more American stamps. Cristian makes mental notes about the contents of Dan’s room, noting the American shoes, music, and other items. Cristian asks Dan questions about America, and when Dan replies, he changes his volume and directs his speech to the light fixture on the ceiling. Cristian is certain that Dan knows he is being surveilled.

Cristian speculates that the light fixtures in the Van Dorn apartment are bugged. Cristian meets Dan’s parents. Mr. Van Dorn makes small talk, praising Cristian for walking his mother home from her cleaning job. On their walk that evening, Cristian attempts to obtain information about the couple from his mother, but she refuses to answer.

Cristian asks Cici for some of her contraband to use as a gift for Liliana in return for her sharing the Coke. Cici suggests tampons, but Cristian decides on chocolate. He gives Cici his American dollar in exchange. He then laments to Bunu about the cold and the unreliability of the electricity. His grandfather asserts that Ceauşescu’s regime was initially not as strict as it has become, but the younger generation knows nothing other than oppression. Bunu tells Cristian that he overheard his conversation with Cici concerning Liliana, and Cristian worries that the listening devices may have captured it as well.

Cristian is sorting produce along with Luca as part of their “compulsory volunteering.” He is certain that Luca informed on him as he is the only one who knew of the American dollar. Cristian recalls that Cici expressed suspicion about Luca. Bunu explained that pitting citizens against one another is a means of governmental control. Cristian continues to worry whether Luca can be trusted as he studies the weed field in front of him—a sharp contrast to the lush fields of crops portrayed in Romanian propaganda meant to instill pride and trust in the Romanian government. Cristian’s anger seethes as he feels even the natural world is betraying him. In a fit of anger, he punches Luca.

At school, Cristian is summoned to speak with the Securitate officer, whom he has nicknamed Paddle Hands. The officer asks Cristian to draw the floor plan of the Van Dorn home and to mark all electrical devices (which can be used for surveillance) in Dan’s bedroom. Cristian tries to be vague in his responses. The officer orders him to interact more frequently with Dan and to find out the contents on Mr. Van Dorn’s desk. Before he leaves, Cristian must put down all he has said in a signed document. He attempts to disguise his handwriting and signature when he does so. He notices the name of a famous Romanian soccer player in the officer’s pocket—information that might prove useful.

Cristian laments the cold weather and tries to express his feelings through poetry that he writes in his secret notebook. One day Liliana invites him into her home. He is surprised to find a car battery that her brother is using to power the lights. Cristian gives Liliana the chocolate, and they talk softly. Eventually, Liliana extinguishes the candle, and the two hug wordlessly in the dark.

Cristian rises at five o’clock in the morning to get in line at the local food shop. He studies the people around him huddled in the cold and notes how they contrast with the image of Romania conveyed in government propaganda. The previous night, his father had been able to obtain only an expired can of beans. While in line, Cristian is approached by a stranger who asks him to pass along a message to Bunu about coffee. Because coffee has not been available for a long time, Cristian is confused but agrees to give the message.

As November begins, Cristian is in the Van Dorn apartment again. He notes how different it is from his with its heat and color television. Cristian inquires about a stack of videotapes, and Dan replies—through a note rather than speaking—that they are home recordings sent by his American friends. He plays one of the tapes for Cristian, the sound coming through headphones. Cristian is amazed not only by the thought of American teens possessing a video camera but by the large quantities of food evident in the American home. As Dan and Cristian exit the apartment, Cristian is left stunned, unable to believe that what he saw in American films at Starfish’s is true.

Cristian and his mother walk home from the Van Dorns’ apartment. He tells her about Dan’s videos, but she does not wish to discuss the topic. She chastises him for engaging with Dan and reminds him that doing so is dangerous. He thinks about what his mother would say if she knew he had betrayed his family by becoming an informer. Instead, he challenges her, accusing her of being unwilling to fight for a better life. An argument ensues and Cristian’s mother slaps him. She tells Cristian he should not want to end up like his grandfather. He is unsure what she means.

Cristian writes poems in English in his journal to process his experiences and feelings. Friday arrives, and he waits to be summoned for a meeting with the agent. Cristian debates what he should tell him and then considers skipping the meeting altogether. At school, he studies the portrait of Ceauşescu that hangs in the classroom and recalls that students have been warned of their leader’s constant surveillance. As the lesson continues, a student enters, hands the teacher a note, then bursts out that he is an informer. The student leaves the room, and Cristian realizes that likely everyone employed at the school—and even many of his fellow students—are likely informers.

Cristian is never called to meet with the agent. He thinks about the student’s outburst, then wonders if Liliana could be an informer as well. Upon reaching his building, he finds Cici outside; she tells him that a man visited Bunu and that his health is improving. She wonders if he may have somehow received medicine or other treatment. Starfish then approaches them, inquiring whether Cici plans to attend the next video night. She says that she has other plans, and Cristian learns that they involve a date with Alex Pavel, Liliana’s brother. Cristian initially finds this to be unsettling but then urges Cici to keep the date. He tells her about the outburst at school earlier.

Inside the apartment, Bunu is attempting to work the radio, wanting news of imminent government action. Bunu laments the control that Ceauşescu and his wife have, stressing that because Cristian is young, he knows nothing other than this highly controlled Romania. Bunu tells Cristian that he received a package, and Cristian understands that this is the medicine promised to him by the agent. Bunu is disgusted by the countless spies that undoubtedly surround them, and Cristian worries he will be discovered.

Cristian and Liliana meet in secret in the apartment stairwell. They discuss the date taking place between their siblings. They chat and imagine life in the West. They are interrupted by the sound of footsteps, and Cristian worries that the Securitate is watching him.

Cristian shouts for the presumed spy to reveal himself, but it turns out to be his mother. She is returning home from the food line but dropped the bottle of cooking oil when Cristian shouted. Liliana and Cristian help her into the apartment and then clean up the spilled oil. Inside, Bunu rages that the regime uses fear to pit its citizens against each other. Cristian then realizes that no one came running upon the commotion in the stairwell: he wonders which of the neighbors would have come to help them and which are likely to betray them. He and Liliana speculate as to whether Americans know about the poor conditions in Romania—this suddenly sparks an idea for Cristian.