I Kissed Shara Wheeler

McQuiston’s novel celebrates the multiplicity and complexity of identity. Not only do the characters subvert gender and sexual stereotypes but the novel’s protagonist, Chloe, also discovers the complexity of others’ identities and learns to resist prejudice against those whose stories she does not know. At the beginning of the novel, Chloe swears that “nothing interesting happens” in False Beach (15), but by the end of the novel, she recognizes that the residents are, in fact, complex and interesting people. What Chloe first regards as being “assigned to the world’s worst group project” (10), eventually becomes an experience of learning and growth.

Smith challenges the stereotype of the high school football jock. Although Chloe at first assumes that Smith “isn’t much better than the other football d-bags,” whom she “dislikes on principle” (17), she finds that there is more to Smith than his jock status. Not only is he graceful, but he also enjoys wearing cosmetics and putting flowers in his hair. Smith is in love with his friend Rory whom he had drifted away from once he joined the football team. That Smith “flows” from room to room rather than walks reflects the fluidity of his gender identity. Although he appreciates his strong, athletic body and his ability to succeed as a football player he says that he sometimes wishes it were “smaller or softer or…different” (186). He adds that likes to wear his letterman jacket because he “could be shaped like anything under” it and “can imagine” that he is “not shaped like a dude sometimes” (186).

Chloe at first regards Rory as an archetype of the straight-guy-pursues-beautiful-girl narrative. That Chloe finds his feelings for Shara to be “absolutely, annoyingly predictable” supports Chloe’s biased opinion that nothing interesting happens in False Beach (8). However, Chloe finds that Rory has been struggling with the disparity between the community’s definition of success, that is, dating the most desirable girl, and his true feelings for his former friend Smith. Chloe also regards Rory as a poser in that he sports the “indie softboy” persona while living in a gated community (9). Chloe initially fails to realize that people can be made up of many, contradictory qualities, and that appearances do not make a person less interesting or less worthy of empathy. Chloe later realizes that not only is Rory gay, but he is also a rebel. His hidden nose ring represents a form of resistance to injustice in his community. By getting to know Rory, Chloe finds that being raised in an environment of wealth and privilege does not make him immune to struggles or prevent him from standing up against injustice in the community.

Although Shara appears to be a poster child for the False Beach community and Willowgrove, she, too, is queer and rebellious. Chloe at first regards Shara in a variety of ways that diminish her complexity. She describes her as “a vague mist of a person, checking all the right False Beach boxes so that everyone thinks they see a perfect girl in her place” (29) and regards her as boring and uncool. Throughout the novel, she also reiterates that Shara is not a good person, and she seeks to tarnish Shara’s seemingly perfect reputation. Moreover, Chloe mythologizes Shara by imagining her in the “role of a million different beautiful women laid low: Marie Antoinette in pastel silks, Lucrezia Borgia dripping poison, vampire queens and girls in space” (268). However, Chloe concludes: “If Shara were an SAT question, she’d be one of those confusing logic puzzles. Critical reasoning with no obvious answers to rule out. Simple, straightforward words arranged in a strange, winding order, something to get lost inside” (163).

Toward the end of the novel, Chloe realizes that “Everything extraordinary about her is trapped behind the myth” (268). Chloe finds that being “beautiful” and imperfect are not mutually exclusive. She finds that Shara’s identity is more than meets the eye: “Shara isn’t a monster inside of a beautiful girl, or a beautiful girl inside of a monster. She’s both, one inside of the other inside of the other” (306). Not only does Shara’s queerness challenge the stereotypes imposed upon her, but she also demonstrates that she cares about people. After all, Shara’s decision to kiss Chloe and Rory, leave cryptic messages, and disappear helps Chloe, Rory, Smith, Summer, and Georgia to find love.

The setting of the novel highlights not only the complexity of identity but also the disparity between appearances and reality. The name of the school, Willowgrove, reflects the hiddenness of identity within a dense canopy of layers. Like hiding in a willow grove, the true feelings and inner struggles of its students are hidden. Similarly, the name of the town, False Beach, underscores the false personas members of the community espouse to fit in and fulfill others’ expectations. Not only do the characters hide their true feelings, but they comprise multiple identities, even those that might appear contradictory.

The novel suggests that loving football and loving “girly” things like cosmetics and makeup are not mutually exclusive. Neither are being Christian and queer, or being wealthy and caring about others. The text reveals that a person can be multiple things, and cautions against stereotypes that minimize the complexity of others’ experiences. In her valedictorian speech, Chloe reveals that her kiss with Shara:

[B]rought people into my life who I’d never even spoken to before, and I discovered we had more in common than I ever would have guessed. I learned that there are jocks who love theater and stoners who know a lot more about the world than I do. I learned that a lot of us—a lot more than I thought—are doing whatever it takes to survive in a place that doesn’t feel like it wants us (339).

Chloe not only acknowledges the complexity of others’ identities and recognizes commonalities, but she also reveals that the ability to unite and ally with others can help queer people survive in an intolerant world.