I Beat the Odds: From Homelessness, to The Blind Side, and Beyond

Chapter 17 depicts Oher’s first season with the Baltimore Ravens. For Oher, it was important to be successful in the NFL, as his goal was not just to be drafted but to thrive. After the draft, he traveled to Baltimore to finalize his contract; he also needed to finish his last semester of college and find a new place to live. Leigh Anne Tuohy helped Oher find a place and furnish it. He lived modestly, knowing it was easy for players to be reckless and waste money.

Training camp started in July, followed by preseason. The Ravens won all four of their games, which gave them positive momentum going into the regular season. They also won their season opener at home, in picture-perfect weather, and Oher was on cloud nine. It was hard to imagine a better start to his career. During postseason, the Ravens beat the New England Patriots in a wild card game before losing to the eventual AFL champions, the Indianapolis Colts. Overall, it was a great year, and Oher was recognized for his performance: He was the NFL Rookie of the Month that December and was named to the Mid-Season All-Pro Team by Sports Illustrated.

Yet, Oher knew he needed to keep improving to keep his job. Just as he had displaced someone on the offensive line, he knew the same could happen to him—so he worked out even on vacation.

In Chapter 18, Oher discusses Michael Lewis’s book The Blind Side and its film adaptation. Lewis first visited the Tuohys during Oher’s junior year of high school. Sean Tuohy and Lewis had been childhood friends growing up in New Orleans and wished to rekindle their friendship. Lewis was surprised to see Oher as part of the household, doing his homework at the dining room table like the other Tuohy children, Collins and S.J. He became intrigued by Oher’s story and decided to write an article about it for The New York Times.

As Lewis researched Oher’s life, he realized an article wouldn’t do the story justice. He also researched the left tackle position in football—and saw a connection. The left tackle position was changed in 1985, when Lawrence Taylor of the New York Giants broke the leg of Joe Theismann, quarterback of the Washington Redskins, during a tackle. Theismann had been hit on his blind side, this one play changing teams’ overall approach—making left tackle a focal point of protection. Similarly, Oher’s life included seemingly small changes—attending a new school and meeting the Tuohys—that had a lasting impact. Thus, Lewis decided to combine his two points of research into a single book.

Upon hearing that Lewis contacted many of his acquaintances, Oher decided to learn who the man was. Before then, he had considered his life uninteresting and hadn’t paid much attention to Lewis’s research. He soon learned that Lewis was a well-known author who had written a number of successful books. Before The Blind Side was published in 2006, Oher called Lewis from his college dorm and the two had a conversation—which clarified some details missing from the story.

An Oher-focused excerpt of The Blind Side appeared in The New York Times, called “The Ballad of Big Mike.” This garnered attention, but mostly from readers who were already football fans. A couple years later, a movie based on the book was made. It was released during Oher’s rookie season in the NFL, so he didn’t have time to see it until the season ended in January 2010. He had mixed feelings upon watching it: Overall, he was happy that his story could potentially help someone in similar circumstances and inspire them to change their life for the better. However, he was perplexed that viewers cried at the end of the movie as he considered it a happy ending—he left the projects and found success. Oher was also disappointed that his younger self was portrayed as unintelligent and ignorant of the rules of football, when neither was true.

Chapter 19 presents a sampling of a week’s worth of Oher’s fan mail. Written by adoptees, parents, students, and volunteers, the letters reveal just how much Oher’s story impacted them. The film version of The Blind Side reached more people than the book, and Oher is grateful that both gave others hope—despite reservations about his portrayal. However, the sheer volume of mail indicates a problem: “Imagine how many children are hurting and looking for help” (219).

Chapter 20 comprises Oher’s personal advice to those in circumstances similar to his younger self. Oher didn’t have many positive role models when he was young, but he knew not to emulate his mother. He distinguishes between his love for her and his desire not to follow in her footsteps. Patterns of behavior are hard to break, so he suggests tools for doing so.

First, Oher says people should think about the positives associated with their families. While circumstances may be overwhelmingly negative, it’s important to acknowledge and find strength in familial love. Oher discusses some of his siblings, some of whom he knew better than others, and expresses how grateful he is for their presence in his life. He is proud of how they tried to stick together in spite of their challenges.

Oher’s relationship with his mother proved more difficult. He gave his brothers some money once he made it to the NFL, so they could buy used cars and clothes for work. His mother resented this, selling what gifts she could and keeping the money for herself; she later left an angry message on Oher’s answering machine. However, Oher realized she was the one who failed him, not the other way around. Oher’s mother relapsed when he was 16 and made poor choices that hurt the family. Oher admits that they no longer have a relationship.

Oher reiterates that one never has to follow in the footsteps of family members who make poor decisions. Everyone is their own person, and the same applies to friendship. Oher advises readers to choose positive, trustworthy friends and distance themselves from negative influences. While it’s important to remember where one came from, he reminds readers that true friends want friends to grow and succeed, not be held back by a negative environment.

At the same time, people should be on the lookout for potential mentors. Oher learned something from every mentor in his book, from Tony to the Tuohys; each taught him how to live responsibly. The relationship between mentor and mentee can be challenging for both, but it is worth pursuing. Oher also suggests that people can and should control their attitude toward life. The right mindset helps, especially when one cannot change their situation right away. It can remind them that their circumstances do not define them.

However, mentors don’t come along for everyone. If Oher hadn’t met the Tuohys, he might have ended up working at Taco Bell—which isn’t to say such a fate is shameful. Success can take on many forms, as long as it makes meaningful use of one’s skills. Oher recommends finding one’s strengths and seeing where they lead. He also warns that no one is entitled to another’s money, and while helping those in need is admirable, people shouldn’t forget to take care of themselves. Finally, everyone should present themselves properly in given situations. Just as Leigh Anne Tuohy taught Oher the rules of etiquette, everyone should learn how to dress and behave in different situations.

The final chapter presents a list of organizations that reach out to young people via volunteers and donations. Oher briefly describes each one, from common and well-known programs like the YMCA and YWCA to more specialized organizations such as the Martin Pollak Project in Baltimore, which aids children who age out of the foster care system. He also recommends “popcorn giving,” a term the Tuohys use to describe opportunities that “pop up.” After all, this is how Oher and the Tuohys connected, which forever changed their lives.