Hell Followed With Us

Benji puts on the dress and avoids looking in the mirror. Theo half-heartedly complains that his mother is being unfair but tries to tell Benji that he and his mother love him. Benji goes with Theo to the chapel, where his mother finds him and takes him to the pews. She puts a firm hold on his neck under the guise of compassion but also to keep him under control. She warns Benji that he will have to be “cleansed” again after returning from the world of sin and choosing to abandon the church. The reverend announces Benji’s return and praises God for giving the church its savior back. He sees a near future in which Benji leads the church to complete the “cleansing” of the world and destroy what life remains on it. Later that evening, Theo attempts to become sexual with Benji, but Benji fiercely rejects Theo’s touches, wishing that Nick had killed Theo when he had the chance.

Benji is taken to the river with his mother, the reverend, and Sister Kipling, the woman who created the virus and inserted it into Benji. He steps into the river with the reverend and exposes his back, bracing for what he knows is going to be painful. The reverend holds a knife and begins cutting Benji’s back and then his scalp, imitating the wounds that Jesus received on the cross. Benji expected this much but did not expect the reverend to then stab the blade through his palm. He screams in agony and watches as his blood fills the river. In that same moment, Seraph begins to take its final form as Benji sprouts wings and loses the remaining pieces of his old body. Filled with the greatest pain he has ever known, Benji does not have the strength to command the Graces or enact the plan, and he fears what will happen now.

Benji sees himself from the outside, observing himself as he turns into Seraph and is kept in a sealed room to be watched. When he comes back into his body, he can feel his new wings as they start to grow in and feels like his body is completely out of proportion. He wonders about Nick and the others and what they did when the plan didn’t go through. Sister Kipling enters the room, and Benji can see that she looks gray and deteriorated. She shakes as she sits down next to Benji and blurts out a strange apology. Sister Kipling suddenly admits that she was wrong to create Seraph and that she believes all the Angels will go to Hell for what they have done to the world. Benji is shocked to hear this, especially from the person who created Seraph. Sister Kipling asks Benji to kill her and to do so quickly (with mercy), but Benji believes that she deserves no such thing.

Theo and Benji’s mother come in to see Benji now that he has fully transformed, complete with fangs, wings, and a tail. Both of them are totally awestruck and speechless. Theo gets some time alone with Benji and spends it preening his newly formed wings and telling Benji how proud he is. Theo sees Benji’s new form as beautiful, but Benji feels like “a charred corpse” and a shell of his former self (347). Benji spends the next week in a testing room as Sister Kipling and a few other people test his ability to control Graces. They find that not only can he command them, but he can also alter their form, as well as command the virus to activate in anyone who carries it. All the while, Benji thinks about Nick and the others, wondering if they’re okay. One day, when he has time alone with Sister Kipling, Benji asks her to do him a favor. He gives a Grace the bead lizard that Nick made him and shows the creature a map of Acheson, pointing to where Nick should be. Benji asks Sister Kipling to release the Grace, and she does so several days later, the night before the church plans to march on the city. Benji watches Sister Kipling leave and thinks about his former name, Esther. Esther was a Jewish queen who saved her people from her own king and his adviser. Benji plans to live up to her name and then lay it to rest, proving that being close to God does not mean being benevolent.

On the morning of which it is planned to march on the city, Benji awakens to see his mother there, and Theo arrives soon after, unusually joyful and wearing white. Benji immediately knows that Theo was reinstated into the death squad and hates him for it. Theo and Benji’s mother walk him out to the lawn where the people of New Nazareth, along with a dozen Graces, await. The reverend announces that Theo and “Esther” are to be wed this morning, and Benji is stunned. He can’t believe that even while they “worship” him, they still attempt to use and control him. Benji refuses the marriage, which sends a shock through the crowd, and then the Watch appears and starts shooting people.

A massive battle erupts as Graces start attacking the people of the church; snipers from the Watch shoot Benji’s mother, Sister Kipling, and many others; and Theo injects himself with a failed version of the Seraph virus known as Dominion. Theo looks at Benji with a deep and horrible anger, as though Benji betrayed everything that was supposed to be. Theo transforms almost immediately into a crude version of Seraph and drags Benji off into the fields. When Benji comes to consciousness, he and Theo are both in their human forms, and the river is filled with blood. Theo holds a rock in his hand, accusing Benji of being a liar.

In Nick’s perspective, the Watch continues shooting at the Angels down below while also getting shot and attacked by Graces. Nick tries to manage everyone and ensure they’re okay as Faith is shot in the side of the head and Aisha loses control of her sniper position. Nick looks at Benji down below, who appears both terrifying and beautiful. When Nick is attacked by an Angel and its Grace partner, the Grace claws at his leg, rendering Nick unable to move. At the same time, what remained of the Flood virus activates in Nick’s body, causing his skin to crack open. Nick tries to talk to Benji through the virus, and Benji hears him.

Theo holds a wet and bloodied stone in his hand as he approaches Benji and tells him that Benji betrayed the entirety of New Nazareth, as well as himself. Theo releases an anger unlike anything before and accuses Benji of not accepting himself. Staring at Theo, Benji realizes that he does not believe in Heaven and that he considers this his only life. Theo, on the other hand, sees this as a temporary gateway, which is why he is so willing to be reckless with his life. Benji pulls out the knife that Nick gave him weeks before and stabs Theo in the ribs. He holds Theo by the chin and bites his lip, when suddenly he hears Nick speaking to him. Benji and Nick share an understanding, and then Nick shoots Theo, killing him.

Benji is surrounded by the bodies of Angels and Graces, including his mother’s. He does not pity them, instead believing that they brought this on themselves. Benji looks at Theo lying on the ground before him and then sees Nick and the others nearby. Reunited with them, the group heads back to the ALC to recover, celebrating the fact that none of them died and their newfound freedom from the Vanguard (because they now have almost endless supplies). Benji goes back to the battle site to clean up the bodies and search for supplies there, and in doing so, he sees Theo again. He wonders if Theo was always queer like him and if he perhaps hid this part of himself his whole life. Later on, Nick finds Benji, and they have a moment alone together. They share a comforting silence, and Nick pulls Benji’s forehead to his. Benji finally feels like he has found his family and his home.