Hell Followed With Us

Back in Benji’s perspective, a meeting is held to discuss Nick’s upcoming plan. Everyone gathers in a room and awaits Nick’s arrival, and the tension in the air is thick. When Nick does arrive, he appears exhausted. Cormac starts complaining about how he refuses to work with Benji, but Nick ignores him and demands the attention of the group as they start to devolve into arguments. Nick announces his plan to intercept and kill a group of Angels that are supposed to be heading to a nearby church four days later. Nobody objects.

For the next four days, Benji tries to fit in and get to know the people at the ALC. Some of them are friendly, while others want nothing to do with him. Salvador is most understanding and interested in getting to know Benji, and Benji confesses to Salvador that he joined the Watch to get revenge for his father’s death. Salvador tells Benji some personal secrets about other people in the ALC but doesn’t want to say anything about xemself.

The night before leaving for the church, a deer is caught and shared among the group. Benji tries to refuse to eat, feeling guilty for taking anything from the group, but Nick notices how hungry he is and insists. Benji and Nick sit and eat together, and Benji feels warm and comforted in Nick’s presence. Nick tells Benji that “it’s okay to be scared” (124), and Benji realizes that he’s been grinding his teeth.

Benji likes the fact that at the ALC, he doesn’t have to constantly think about being trans and can instead just exist as he is. He doesn’t mind the female traits of his body, but he hates the fact that Seraph is turning his body into something else entirely. After being dressed in all black, Benji heads out with the Watch to attack the church. He thinks about how he will be returning to the place where he lost Theo to the movement, and he wonders if he’s still in love. Approaching the church, Benji can hear the sounds of Graces wailing and the church choir singing. The Watch sneaks in through the back, and Benji heads up to the second floor to position himself. He looks out over the balcony and sees the boys all waiting to be infected with the Flood and initiated into the death squad. Behind the altar is a nest of flesh, made up of the souls who were left behind after Judgment Day. Benji speaks to it, calming it down, and uses a pistol to shoot a hole through a nearby window. Suddenly, he is thrust into another reality.

Benji suddenly wakes up in New Nazareth in the fields where people who are deemed failures of the movement or too weak to handle the virus are taken to be killed. He sees a massive beast with six wings and a giant gaping mouth and knows it to be some sort of product of the Flood and God combined. The beast looks at Benji, and then Benji wakes up again back in the church, confused about what just happened or how.

Benji is spotted by Theo, who takes Benji by surprise. Benji feels love for Theo all over again, but he also remembers the day that he confessed his fears of becoming Seraph. That day, Theo exploded at Benji and violently attacked him. Theo tries to apologize to Benji, claiming that he left to search for him, and Benji can’t help but kiss Theo, promising to come back for him. Benji has doubts, knowing how devoted Theo is to the movement, but his love for Theo rules out. Benji then meets back up with the Watch, who successfully killed 14 Angels after Benji distracted them with his shot. Benji sees that two of the dead Angels are young children, and Aisha runs outside to throw up. Benji leaves with the others, thinking about his new promise to return for Theo.

After a long and awkward silence as everyone sits together following the attack on the church, Nick leaves, and Erin asks Benji to go talk to him. Benji reluctantly goes and finds Nick on the rooftop along with his rifle. The sun is hot, and by April (it is now February), it will be unbearable. Nick is difficult to get to open up and says that he’s fine, instead turning the conversation toward Benji instead. He asks Benji how long he has before he turns into Seraph, and Benji guesses a few weeks at the most. All the while, Benji thinks about Theo and convinces himself that Theo won’t hurt him again. Nick helps Benji put his bobby pins in his hair properly, and Benji finds it strange to be touched by someone he doesn’t know.

Benji had to confront his gender dysphoria in order for it not to overcome him; now, he feels like he has been tasked with this same challenge again in the form of Seraph. Benji closes his eyes and wills himself to go back to the place of his previous vision, and he finds Seraph in New Nazareth, which is the grounds of an old university. He chases the beast but cannot catch up with it. Benji knows that Seraph is just his future self and what he will become, and he believes this to be the will of God; at the same time, he doesn’t know what he must do in order to face it. When Benji wakes up, he feels like he has glass in his mouth, but it’s actually a Seraph canine growing in. Benji finds a private spot and attempts to pull it out with pliers but pulls out the wrong tooth. It is clear that he cannot outrun what he is becoming.