Heartbeat

In “Shoeless,” Annie’s second encounter with the track coach is even more unwelcome than the first. During the conversation, Annie thinks to herself twice that she wants to “slug her,” emphasizing this urge with footnotes (119). In her distaste for the track coach, insight into Annie’s character is given. She finds the coach to be “scornful” and “pushy,” and believes the coach is someone who believes “perhaps you are a future / ax murderer” if joining a team does not appeal to you (120). Annie’s angry defensiveness shows that she is stubborn, but also frustrated that she must revisit this topic, and others questioning her makes her question herself. Instead of confronting the coach, Annie punches Max. As she runs off, she reveals her insecurity about her choice that she could not reveal to the coach: “I am apologizing / to the air / to the sky / for not wanting / to waste a gift” (123). Max and the track coach have become one in her mind, as they both seem to accuse her of just not understanding. Annie struggles to assert her independence and to advocate for herself, and when she finally does, she erupts in violence towards a friend. The poem that immediately follows is called “The Gift,” as Annie leaves her savings in Max’s locker as an apology. While this is literally a gift to him, it is also a reference to Annie’s fears of wasting her gift for running.

After watching birthing videos, Annie has a dream that she is watching over a small baby and loses it, only for it to melt away behind a radiator. After she wakes up, she wonders why she “can’t dream / of perfect babies / […] and a perfect / perfect / sister” (128). The dream expresses her anxiety about not being able to fulfill the role she imagines she will have when the baby arrives, and she struggles with what to expect from herself as a sister. Her identity in her family is changing, and she worries that she cannot meet the task.