Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success

In this final chapter, Grant introduces Derek Sorenson, an athlete turned contract negotiator who was voted Most Ruthless in his negotiation class. Sorenson’s approach to negotiation was purely competitive, with a win-at-all-costs mentality. Once he realized that his tactics were only leading to short-term gains and long-term damage to his relationships and reputation, Sorenson decided to shift his approach. Grant describes how Sorenson was actually a giver who, over time, learned to adopt a taker approach during his time as an athlete. Sorenson’s transformation from a ruthless negotiator to a giver—his innate reciprocity style—shows that people can embrace giving qualities despite societal pressures and norms that may push them toward being a taker.

Grant acknowledges that many givers hide their natural reciprocity style for fear of being perceived as weak. However, he points out that even in seemingly competitive environments like negotiation, a winner-take-all approach is not the most effective one; givers can utilize their strengths to achieve better outcomes. He cites a study that found that the most intelligent negotiators are the ones who achieve win-win outcomes by considering the interests of both parties involved.

Grant encourages givers to embrace their giving nature. He even suggests that, in order to recognize and accommodate givers, organizations should change how they view success. Takers may achieve individual success, but givers contribute to collective, long-term success—though this type of success may be hard to observe and recognize using traditional metrics of achievement. Overall, Grant believes that all organizations and individuals could benefit from shifting culture closer toward the giving end of the spectrum.