Gabi, a Girl in Pieces

A zine is generally a short, self-published work, often published using basic copy machine or self-printing methods. Gabi’s zine is a compilation of observations on the female body and how it is perceived and judged, told from a female perspective in a combination of hand-drawn illustrations and poetic writing.

Gabi’s first diagram is a biting and concise overview of how the female body is looked upon by others, with special attention given to the “curvature of the waist” and “hourglass figure” that society expects of women. She also captures the social expectation that women compare themselves to one another: “You will notice how your waist is a little wider than (pretty much any name can be inserted here).” She also touches upon the social expectation that women carry and birth children—“You will carry a child there in the middle”—while also bluntly mentioning the socially taboo topic of infertility: “unless you can’t” (196). Gabi’s first diagram establishes the tone of her zine and sets the stage for more direct diagrams and language ahead.

Diagram 2’s focus on the female breasts highlights the attention society gives to this particular body part. Gabi captures the insecurity experienced by women of all sizes when she lists the nicknames used to tease women for their breasts (197). She points out that some people may wish their breasts were larger, while others may wish their breasts were smaller, but regardless of size, “breast is a dirty word” (197).

Diagram 3 is about the vagina, although Gabi points out that readers “will be too embarrassed to call it that” (198), listing again nicknames for the anatomical part that society shames. Gabi captures the confusion of shame and natural physical desire surrounding sex when she writes, “If anyone (or if you yourself) touch this part of your body, you will be labeled a slut, even by other girls just the same as you” (198).

Diagram 4 highlights the way society looks at women’s hair. Mothers demand long braids while rebellious daughters desire loose or even short hair. This conflict between mothers and daughters is about more than hair, though, and represents a larger tension over sexuality and coming of age. Gabi wants to be good in her mother’s eyes, but Gabi also recognizes the very human sexual desires she’s experiencing as she turns 18. She concludes in Diagram 4 that “Bad is not so bad” (199), signifying her acceptance of herself without judgement. Diagram 5 explores the blurred lines between good and bad further when looking at what hands can do, concluding that hands can do many things, but without drawing a final judgement between good and bad.

Diagram 6 echoes Gabi’s first diary entry from July 24 in its repetition that female legs “should always be closed.” The warnings that there may be consequences for wearing short skirts and that “you may be seen as ‘asking for it’ / even if you weren’t” foreshadow Cindy’s upcoming revelation that her pregnancy was the result of rape, not consensual sex. Gabi also draws attention to the double standards between men and women, pointing out that men may sit with their legs apart, but a woman doing so is a slut (201).

Diagram 7 emphasizes the power of words through its focus on the mouth. Gabi warns her female readers to “keep your thoughts to yourself; / you are a girl, speak accordingly” (202) to highlight the social expectations placed upon girls around their language. In this society, good girls do not speak of sex or ask questions about sexuality, which is why so much of Gabi’s sexual curiosity is expressed in the pages of her private diary. But Gabi recognizes her own coming of age when she acknowledges the possibility for girls to “learn to speak and think / and become a woman” (202).