Fighting Words

Della sleeps in late the next morning. Francine calls the psychiatric hospital, and they tell her that they have admitted Suki and that she is safe, but that Francine and Della cannot speak to her yet until her treatment plan is determined.

Francine suggests that they take a walk and drives them to a nearby park. Della has never “walked just to walk before” (164), and Francine assures her that they can walk for as little or as long as she wants. As they walk, Della asks Francine if there are any wolves in the area because she wants to see them in the wild. Francine tells her that she will have to go out west to see wolves outside of a zoo. Della asks if they can go to Montana, where there are wolves. Francine says probably not, but that they will take a trip to Myrtle Beach in South Carolina in summer. Della is momentarily distracted during their walk, but her mind continues to return to Suki. She soon asks Francine if they can turn around and go home.

On Sunday they go to Food City to grocery shop and Francine informs the managers that Suki will need to take a leave of absence from work but does not say why. Francine explains to Della that “[i]t’s her story” and that Suki can share that information only if she wants to (166).

On Monday morning, Della’s anxiety increases as she continues to blame herself for Suki’s suicide attempt. At school, she cannot focus on the spelling test. Ms. Davonte tells her that she expects Della to try, but all Della can do is think about how she had no idea of the abuse happening in Clifton’s home and what Suki was going through. Ms. Davonte tells her that she will not move until Della writes something on her paper, so Della begins writing a series of swear words.

Ms. Davonte sends Della to the principal’s office, where she meets Dr. Penny for the first time. Della tries to explain about the spelling test and begins to cry. Dr. Penny hands her a stack of tissues and suggests that she stay in her office until she feels calm again.

Della goes back to the classroom just before lunch and Nevaeh asks Della what is wrong. She does not respond, so Nevaeh sits with Della in silence while they eat their lunch. Della thinks about how Nevaeh is a true friend. At the end of the day, Ms. Davonte hands Della a sealed envelope and tells her that her mother needs to read it. Della reminds her that her mother is incarcerated, and Ms. Davonte apologizes for forgetting Della’s home life situation.

At the Y, Della finds a quiet table and puts her head down on her arms. Nevaeh asks if Della can share what happened yet, and Della tells her that Suki hurt herself. Nevaeh asks if Suki survived, Della nods, and then puts her head down again. Nevaeh tells the other girls that she is not going to swim today and stays with Della instead. When Nevaeh tells Della it is time to go home, she hands Della a piece of paper with a field of flowers drawn on it.

Francine reads Ms. Davonte’s note and promptly throws it away. She goes to her bedroom, shuts the door, and calls Ms. Davonte. When she returns, she asks Della to help her cut up vegetables for dinner, handing her a different knife than the one Suki used. She tells Della that she is going to be okay and teaches her a calming breath exercise she can use when she gets overwhelmed. Francine tells Della that she will be late to school tomorrow, as she has a therapy appointment at eight.

That night, Della asks Francine if any of her other foster kids tried to hurt themselves. Francine tells her that their stories are their own, but that she and Suki are not the only kids that bad things have happened to. Della asks if bad things happened to Francine when she was young and she says yes, but she does not want to share that story with her right now.

Della decides to sleep in the living room that night and stares at her purple high-top sneakers that Suki bought her. As she thinks about everything Suki has done for her, she resents wanting the shoes in the first place, thinking that she has taken too much from Suki.

In the morning, Della puts on her old sneakers instead of her high-tops because she still feels guilty. Francine drops Della off at Dr. Fremont’s office for therapy. Della states that she does not want to talk about Suki, thinking that she would rather be in school. Dr. Fremont hands Della a piece of paper with different illustrations of emotions drawn on it. She asks Della to circle the ones she is feeling right now and Della circles “Sad, scared, sleepy. Worn-out. Angry. Confused. Disobedient, grief, lonely. Strong. Ashamed” (179). Dr. Fremont comments that Della is experiencing a lot of emotions. Dr. Fremont asks Della which of the feelings is strongest for her right now, and Della thinks guilt and shame. She tells Dr. Fremont that Suki’s suicide attempt is her fault because “[Suki] had to do too much to take care of [her]” (180). Dr. Fremont tells Della that nothing is her or Suki’s fault, and that they should have been taken care of by the adults in their lives. Dr. Fremont suggests that they spend the rest of the session practicing ways for Della to feel better in the moment. They do a few exercises together and then Dr. Fremont asks Della to make a list of things that make her happy. Della explains that she wants to go to Montana to see the wild wolves but that she cannot go because it is so far away. Dr. Fremont says that Della is allowed to have dreams and visions for her future.

When Della arrives at school, Ms. Davonte has reorganized the classroom, putting Trevor’s desk in the back by her own desk. Ms. Davonte pulls Della aside, telling her that she now knows about Suki and everything else that Della has been through. She asks why Della never told her, and Della cannot believe that Ms. Davonte thinks Della would trust her. Instead of responding, Della does one of the anxiety redirection activities Dr. Fremont taught her and realizes that she does feel better.

At the Y the next day, Della decides that she wants to play basketball again instead of swim and Nevaeh joins her. She sees Tony and tells him that Suki is having mental health problems and needs to stay in a psychiatric hospital. Tony assures Della that when Suki is better, she can have her job back.

Della survives the entire week without being able to talk to Suki, but on Friday Francine picks her up and tells her that they are going to be able to visit Suki. Suki and Della cry when they are reunited, hugging each other close. They sit at a table with Francine and Suki’s doctor and discuss her progress and treatment plan. Della learns that Suki is doing “medium well. Not hurting herself again but not ready to come home” (188). She will need to stay for at least another week. When the doctor finishes, Francine says that they can have a few minutes by themselves before she and Della need to leave.

When they are alone, Suki asks Della if she is angry with her. Della realizes that she is, telling Suki, “Clifton, he’s over. If you’d died it would have been forever” (189). Suki admits that she still feels like she will never get over what happened to her, and Della reminds Suki that they are like wolves: “They fight back, Suki. Nothing kills a wolf” (189). Francine tells her that it is time to go.

On the way home, Della realizes that she is feeling angry again, and asks Francine, “Who’s responsible for loving me?” (191). Francine tells her that she and Suki have each other to love, and that as Della gets older she will meet more people who will love her, too. She tells Della that as time goes on, her and Suki’s pain will lessen, and that they need to leave Clifton in the past so that they can move on to better futures.

On Monday, Trevor pinches Della’s back and she punches him in the stomach in return. In the office, Ms. Davonte and Dr. Penny explain the handbook rules, showing Della that she cannot punch others. Ms. Davonte tries to rationalize Della’s behavior by saying that she has a lot going on at home. Della insists that if she could do it over again, “[she’d] hit him harder” (193), thinking that Trevor’s actions are “creepy in a Clifton kind of way” (193). Della receives in-school suspension.

At the Y after school, Nevaeh plays basketball with Della, telling her that maybe Trevor will leave her alone now that she has fought back. While Della is not sorry for hitting Trevor, she realizes that there must be better ways to deal with her anger than violence.

Della does not tell Francine about her suspension, but when she gets home Francine listens to a voicemail informing her of it. Della worries that Francine will kick her out for being too much trouble. Francine assures Della that she is “tough and resilient and loving and kind” and that it was not her job to stop Clifton’s actions (198).

The next day, Della goes to therapy again. When she sits down, she begins talking about Trevor’s bullying at school and about her mother. Dr. Fremont explains that people hurt other people for different reasons, and that what Clifton did to her and Suki is “common.” This shocks Della. Dr. Fremont goes on to explain that something like what happened to her has probably happened to someone in her class, and that sexual abuse can happen to both boys and girls. She tells Della that abuse always causes problems and that it hurts people in “lots of big ways” (201), but that people can heal from it.

Della decides she is going to hold onto the knowledge that people can get better after abuse. When she gets to school, she tells Trevor, “You are not ever allowed to touch me [...] You are never, ever allowed to touch me without my permission” (202). He laughs this off. Della thinks that while this probably will not stop him, at least she said something. Della tells Nevaeh and her friends that they do not have to let Trevor touch them either and explains that it is the rules that he cannot.

That night, Della and Francine are able to visit Suki again. From Suki’s team, Della learns that Suki is not doing as well as they would have hoped and has to stay for at least another week. After the team meeting, Della is allowed to visit with Suki for a few minutes. Della tells Suki that she needs to testify against Clifton so that he stays in prison longer. Suki’s face drops and she explains that there is no proof of what Clifton did to her, which would mean her word against his. She also states that she does not want to see Clifton in person.

Della asks Suki to tell her something “good about Mama” (205), wanting another memory of her mother that is not about the motel. Suki tells Della about the day she was born and Suki went to visit her in the hospital. As soon as Suki saw Della, Della began to cry, and their mother sang “Skinnamarinky” to make her feel better. Della never knew that the song came from their mother. Suki pulls Della close, and they sing the song together. Suki notices Della’s old shoes and asks what happened to her high-tops. Della admits her feelings of guilt, and Suki tells her that she not only wanted to buy them for Della, but that “[Della gives her] more than [she] take[s]” (207).

On Friday, Teena comes to Francine’s house to spend time with Della while Francine goes out with her friends. They go to Food City and Della visits Maybelline, who asks how Della is doing. When Della begins talking about Suki, Maybelline corrects her, saying that she wants to know how Della is doing. Della and Teena buy snacks and watch television until Della begins to fall asleep on the couch. Teena puts her to bed, singing “Skinnamarinky” as she falls asleep.

Clifton’s trial date draws closer, and Della asks Francine if Clifton would get more time if the police knew the extent of Clifton’s abuse. Francine says that she is not sure, but that Clifton would certainly receive more jail time if he were convicted for Suki’s abuse as well. She reminds Della to stay out of it and to not push Suki, because her story is her own.

Della tells Francine facts about wolves that she has learned from books recently, like the fact that “grown-up wolves have no natural predators” (212). Della thinks about how she and Suki will be like adult wolves one day with nothing able to stop them.