Expiration Dates

Content Warning: This section discusses heart failure, chronic illness, and medical trauma.

Expiration Dates explores the contrast between fate and choice, symbolized by the notes that Daphne receives. She believes that these notes represent a promise from the universe, not only telling her how long each relationship will last, thus protecting her from heartbreak, but also promising that she will live for that span of time, thus protecting her from her own mortality. Daphne claims that the notes allow her to “hack the system” because she knows when to invest in a relationship and is never “blindsided” when it ends (28). However, the notes ultimately leave her feeling resigned to her fate rather than excited for the future.

Daphne allows the notes to structure her relationships with both Jake and Hugo rather than trusting her own emotions. For instance, though Daphne is attracted to Jake and has feelings for him, she often feels the need to reassure herself that the notes have dictated that this is the man she is meant to be with. Rather than feeling joyful and excited about this prospect, she resigns herself to the choice the universe has made for her. Similarly, each time a relationship ends, she makes no effort to fight it and often actively causes the end merely because the notes have told her that it is time. For example, she explicitly states that she is in love with Hugo and wants more time with him. However, when she hits the three-month mark, she ends the relationship despite Hugo’s own objections, relying on the nebulous fate dictated by the notes rather than on her own feelings and choices.

For Daphne, fate and love are inseparable from her concerns about mortality. Crucially, part of her reason for breaking up with Hugo stems from her heart condition and her fear of hurting her loved ones with her death. However, rather than face these fears and her own choices, she uses the notes as an excuse. She claims that “it’s not up to [her]” because “something else has always called the shots in [her] life” (9). She places the choice—and therefore the blame—on the fate handed to her by the notes. In reality, she has abdicated from choosing her own path because it is easier than facing uncertainty and the potential for loss and disappointment it comes with.

Daphne’s character arc culminates in her acceptance of the unknown, in terms of both love and her health. Ironically, Daphne learns that Jake’s note is not even real but rather was written by Hugo, underscoring that for Daphne, acquiescing to “fate” often simply means letting others make decisions for her. She has resigned herself to a lifetime with Jake out of a misplaced sense of destiny, and yet it is not even the fate originally intended. Hugo wants her to experience the unknown like every other human being must: the commingled feelings of anticipation and anxiety that come with not knowing how long a relationship will last. Similarly, Daphne’s father reminds her that no one really knows when they will die or how long their loved ones will remain in their lives. In both cases, the unknown is a basic element of human existence. It is only at this point that Daphne can face her own choices, or lack thereof, and accept that choice and uncertainty are intrinsic parts of life. Importantly, Daphne knew deep down the man she wanted to be with the entire time, but she allowed her nebulous concept of fate to dictate otherwise. In the end, she makes the choice for herself, understanding at last that if she wants the excitement, anticipation, and hope of the future, she must also choose to accept the anxiety of the unknown.