Dry

After his release, Burroughs returns to his apartment, horrified to find hundreds of empty scotch bottles everywhere—counters, floor, table—and swarms of fruit flies hovering over every bottle. He finds one full bottle of Dewars and flushes it down the toilet. He spends the next seven hours cleaning and fumigating his apartment and decides to attend an AA meeting that night. First, though, he visits Pighead who tells him he looks like a different person. Burroughs confesses that he’s “turned recovery”—AA meetings every day, quoting Rae’s aphorisms. He’s bursting with emotions he doesn’t understand, so he leaves while he’s still happy.

At the Perry Street AA meeting, Burroughs introduces himself and tells the group he’s on day 30. A member of the group, Nan, speaks about her own alcoholism: A rising star in the fashion industry at age 20, she’s seen too many parties, too much drinking and drugs. She is now 90 days sober, and Burroughs wonders if “she’s just barely holding it together” (107). Nan then confesses she has terminal cancer, but rather than spending her final days drinking, she wants to recover the life she wasted in her twenties and thirties. Burroughs admires her dedication and feels certain he wouldn’t have the same resolve. Nevertheless, he feels grateful for AA and for the intimate, safe space it creates among strangers who are willing to share their deepest secrets.

The next day, he goes to the gym. After making eye contact with another guy, he suddenly shies away, feeling unable to interact on a normal social level. It seems unfair.

On Burroughs’s first day back at work, Greer enters his office and asks how he’s doing. Overwhelmed with information and emotion, he replies that rehab was wonderful, but when she reports that they’re pitching a beer company account, he’s nervous about being around alcohol. She laughs it off, arguing that beer shouldn’t count. When he corrects her, she promises to be careful. On the cab ride home that night, he feels the euphoria of sobriety.

During his first outpatient therapy meeting at HealingHorizons, he meets Wendy, his counselor; they discuss his schedule of group and one-on-one therapy. When she asks about rehab, he reports a positive experience despite his initial skepticism. Back at home, he feels lonely, a completely predictable emotion—he misses alcohol. Over lunch with Greer the next day, he talks about his transformation and about being able to let things go, to flow with the current rather than fighting it. This realization elates him—“The technical term is Being on a Pink Cloud” (120)—but he knows the elation is temporary.

After work, he attends group therapy at HealingHorizons, and the meeting is interrupted by the late arrival of Foster, a “painfully handsome” man with a crack addiction. Foster, who is in an abusive relationship, almost used the night before, but his dealer was arrested right in front of his eyes. He introduces himself to Burroughs, who is aware that Foster is watching him for the duration of the meeting. He is enthralled by the attention and looks forward to the next group meeting. Afterward, he goes straight to his Perry Street AA meeting.

Hayden calls. He’s being released the next day and asks if he can stay with Burroughs temporarily. Burroughs agrees immediately. The next day at work, he discovers a drawerful of beer ads stuffed in his desk, a “weird joke” perhaps, but unnerving nevertheless.

That night, Hayden arrives six hours late. They grab a late-night dinner and discuss plans. The only caveat to his stay is that if he relapses, he has to leave. The next morning, Burroughs leaves for work, and Hayden plans to inquire about a music editing job. At work, Burroughs realizes Greer is reshaping herself to accommodate his new self. After group therapy that evening, Foster gives Burroughs his phone number; this gesture is not unusual for people in recovery, but Burroughs wonders if there’s more to it. After attending an AA meeting with Hayden, he confesses his excitement over Foster, but Hayden warns him to stay away: “I’m going to keep my eye on you’” (132). Although Burroughs claims he won’t get involved, he continues to entertain the fantasy.

Pighead calls. He’s not feeling well, so Burroughs goes to his apartment and walks his dog. He is disconcerted to see fear in Pighead’s eyes for the first time. Back at home, Hayden cautions him to be prepared—it could be nothing, or it could be something serious. Not wanting to ponder the possibilities, Burroughs returns a call from Jim, who is ecstatic about a new girlfriend. He invites Burroughs to meet her at a restaurant, and Burroughs agrees; but it’s “a restaurant with a bar” (135), Hayden scolds.

At the restaurant, he finds the elegant bar alluring. He finds Jim and his girlfriend, Astrid, cocktails in hand. Seeing Jim through sober eyes for the first time, he thinks he looks like a “train wreck.” Without alcohol, he feels unhip and finds Jim’s work story unrelatable. He leaves before the temptation becomes too much.

After his one-on-one therapy with Wendy, he runs into Foster who invites him out for coffee. They go out for a cappuccino, a warm summer breeze wafting through the early twilight. They discuss their issues: Burroughs’s childhood living with his mother’s “crazy” psychiatrist and being abused by the psychiatrist’s son living in the barn; Foster’s inability to break off from his abusive relationship because he fears the man will kill himself. Soon, the conversation becomes flirtatious, but Burroughs calls an end to the night, wisely realizing he must be cautious. He reassures himself that this feeling of infatuation is for Foster, not for Pighead for whom his feelings are still not completely resolved. The next day at work, he gets a call from Pighead; he’s in the hospital.