39 pages • 1 hour read
Laurie Halse AndersonA modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Kate Malone is out for a late-night run. It is early spring, and she has found that running at night helps her relax. It’s her escape: “I wish I never had to stop” (4). She feels a ghost hover about her called “Bad Kate.” While Kate is an honors student, a formidable cross-country runner, and “the sweet little preacher’s daughter” (21), Bad Kate is “bitchy,” arrogant, and reckless.
When Kate gets home, she checks on her younger brother, 14-year-old Toby, and then irons clothes. Kate’s mother died from pneumonia when she was in fourth grade. Since then, Kate has run the household. Her father has a busy schedule and relies on Kate. Tonight, Kate knows she will not sleep much, and worries about her application to MIT. She had not applied anywhere else, which no one else knows. As she struggles to sleep, she ponders: “When does night end and morning begin?” (13). Night is the only time she allows her thoughts to drift from her school and home duties.
The next morning, Kate goes into automatic: She prepares breakfast and makes sure Toby has taken his asthma medications. Her father, who got in late, scours the paper for subjects for his sermon. She reminds her father to bring the MIT acceptance letter to school as soon as it arrives.
As Kate drives to school, she thinks she ought to pray about MIT, but religion doesn’t work for her. Guiltily, she thinks: “Sometimes I wish I did have faith” (20). She thinks about her mother, who she regrets is now more like a “distant aunt, someone who was fun to play with, but forgets to send birthday cards” (22).
When Kate forgets her student ID, the school security guard detains her. She hurries to her AP chem class, which she loves: “If I had my way, I would study chemistry all day” (24). At lunch, Kate notes a lone figure dressed in bulky flannel. It is her neighbor Teri Litch who the other kids consider a misfit. Teri’s family receives government assistance, and she is known for gaining weight back in the ninth grade. The other students call Teri “the ugly girl, the one who smells funny, studies carpentry […], and has fists like sledgehammers” (28). The image of sledgehammers will become significant later in the novel. Teri is a bully and picks on other girls, Kate among them.
Kate sees Mitch Pangborn, her boyfriend. Even though Kate knows he is immature, she obsesses over his looks and the fact that he is a “jeans-creaming phenomenal kisser” (31). He is also high-achieving and has already been accepted into Harvard. They kiss passionately in the cafeteria, but his coffee breath puts off Kate. Some jocks taunt Teri. Before anyone can stop her, Teri swings a thick history textbook at one of the boys, sending his front tooth flying. The jocks swarm Teri. She fights back until school security escorts her out. She cries that they broke her watch.
In English class, which Kate dismisses as a waste of time, the teacher explains the birth of Athena, a mythological Greek goddess. Kate’s mind drifts. She glances out the window and sees her father hurrying through the parking lot. It must be her acceptance letter, she thinks. She is surprised when her father returns to the car and leaves.
The track team scrimmages after school. Kate loves the freedom, the “positive, rhythmic” pace she feels when running cross country. Her glasses are uncomfortable, and she tosses them to the coach. When it starts to rain, Kate takes a wrong turn in the woods and finishes last.
Kate arrives home. The hot water heater is broken, and she can’t shower. She goes next door to the church to help at the weekly chicken-and-biscuits dinner. Before she helps at the serving line, she slips off her mother’s watch. When she returns, she notices that Teri Litch is standing by the kitchen and that her watch is gone. Certain Teri took it, Kate follows her in her car back to Teri’s home, which is next to Kate’s. Kate notices Teri wearing the watch.
When Kate gets out to confront Teri, Teri invites her in to meet her family. Taken aback, Kate follows. The house smells of old food and toys are scattered around the floor. Kate meets Teri’s mother, who watches TV blankly and has a pink scar along her forehead. Kate also meets Teri’s little brother, Mikey, an energetic two-year-old. Kate’s father arrives to check on Mikey’s ear infection, surprising Kate. Apparently, her father had been there the night before as well. Kate accuses Teri of taking her watch. Kate’s father tells her he is there to talk with the mother about Teri’s fight and the watch will have to wait. Kate leaves: She needs to run.
The question Kate asks herself as she wrestles with insomnia—“[w]hen does night end and morning begin?” (13)—suggests a recurring theme. As the line between morning and night is blurred, so is the line between childhood and adulthood. Kate wonders when her childhood will end, and her adulthood will begin. The novel will explore her coming of age.
In her last months of high school, Kate recognizes she is on a threshold. She is in conflict with herself, struggling with who she is versus how others perceive her. She is a model student yet feels the wickedly attractive presence of Bad Kate. If Good Kate tries to be that impossible model student, Bad Kate mocks authority and yearns to skip classes and make out with her hunky boyfriend. Bad Kate sees school as a waste, her friends as annoying, and understands the irony of pretending to be good while harboring anything-but-good thoughts.
Kate is torn between being a responsible teenager and being a kid. She is still a child in that the world revolves around her. Her English teacher assigns vocabulary in connection with Athena’s birth, including the words “hubris,” “pride,” and “agape,” a love of humanity that defies selfishness. These words will define the journey of Kate’s maturation.
Kate is preoccupied with herself and with her world. She experiences every distress with some degree of exaggeration. For the first half of the book, Kate hangs out with friends she sees as shallow. She helps her father despite feeling that since her mother’s death, her father would rather occupy himself with his parishioners than spend time with her and Toby. Her obsession with getting into MIT sets her up for traumatic failure. Escape empowers her. Her brief mention of her mother’s death, a grave emotional trauma for any child, reveals her desire to flee her problems. This theme develops with Teri’s tragedy later in the novel. The juxtaposition of plot points reveals how little Kate understands about the world. Kate only sees part of her reality and because of that, she misjudges things.
When Kate first glimpses Teri in the lunchroom, she does not see her as a person. Teri is a “slumped shape” reading People magazine, which Kate considers low brow, and eating her “government-subsidized breakfast” (27, 28). Teri is overweight and not dressed stylishly. She is unattractive and has large hands. Kate and her friends treat Teri like a pariah, but Kate has no idea about the difficult life Teri has led, her abusive father, or her pregnancy, which caused her weight gain. Kate is as insensitive and judgmental as her wealthy, college-bound friends. She understands her hypocrisy and knows she should stand up for Teri. When she tries to, Teri gives her the finger. Instead of redoubling her efforts to reach out, Kate gives up.
Kate’s disastrous track competition is a metaphor for her lack of vision. She thinks she throws her glasses to her coach, but it is actually the other team’s coach; she makes the mistake because she cannot see. Without her glasses, Kate can’t judge her location: “I should be near the school by now. I’m on pace to be crossing the finish line now. Where is it?” (44). She literally and metaphorically lacks vision. What she does not yet understand is that getting lost is the first step in finding out where and who she is. Her character arc involves developing this awareness.
By Laurie Halse Anderson