Burro Genius

Riding back home with his father’s horse was “extraordinary” for Villaseñor. He accepted his brother’s death and realized he was not alone because his “familia” in Heaven, Joseph and their grandparents, were watching over him. In his final days at school before summer, he felt more grown up. He felt fearless and vowed that nobody would bully him or disrespect him again. During the summer, his parents traveled to Mexico with his little sister. Villaseñor stayed at the ranch with his older sister, having guitar lessons and practicing shooting.

Days before starting school, Villaseñor felt the urge to ride his brother’s horse, Duke, to the beach, remembering that Joseph had wished to do so a few days before his death. Once there, Villaseñor called out, addressing his brother. At that moment, the horse turned to face the sea. Villaseñor noticed a pod of “gray beasts” in the sea: dolphins. The horse was calling the dolphins. The dolphins came closer and Duke swam into the sea. Villaseñor was initially scared, but when he heard the dolphins “chirping sounds” toward the horse, he felt revived. Moments later, he had a vision of Joseph walking on the water with Jesus Christ. He felt deeply moved; knowing that his brother was in Heaven, he felt safe, and his fears subsided.

Back home, Villaseñor knew he was beginning to see the world through his “Heart-Eyes,” just as his grandmother had taught him.

Villaseñor’s sister advised him not to tell their parents about the dolphins, fearing they would get angry. At nine years old, Villaseñor began attending Catholic school. Things were going well until, one morning, a nun taught the class the Biblical creation story. Villaseñor told her she was wrong. His teacher dared him to teach the class to intimidate him, and Villaseñor retold the Creation story he knew from his grandmother. The nun lost patience and took him to the head nun, who instructed him to remain distant from the other kids so that he would not “contaminate their minds” (277).

His parents visited the school, explaining to the nun that they were Catholics and claiming that their former housekeepers had taught the children “old Mexican superstitions” (277). The nun advised them not to speak Spanish to the children at home to help them advance with their American education. Villaseñor recalls his little sister believing that their language was a mixture of English and Spanish.

Villaseñor was frequently punished and sent to spend time in church alone. Villaseñor started drawing stars again but noticed other kids did as well. He explains that drawing stars helped him and other kids survive their experiences at school. Hurt by constant abuse, Villaseñor felt that his brother and Jesus had forsaken him. One day, he took a walk at a cemetery and addressed a big white cross with Jesus and Mary. He cried, believing that he should have died instead of Joseph, whom he regarded as a genius. At that moment, he felt Mary speaking to him. After falling asleep there, he awoke feeling better.

Villaseñor was transferred to another Catholic school, where he befriended a new group of kids. He remembers the teachers asking the students to read a rosary for two weeks to win a picture of a saint and a certain place in Heaven. Villaseñor did not believe it but knew the teachers would punish him if he questioned them. When he volunteered for the task, the teacher told him she would be checking on him to ensure he read the rosaries. Villaseñor asked her if she would examine other kids, and she became furious. Again, he realized that the teacher was prejudiced because he was Mexican. He began to see prejudice toward Mexicans all around him and felt hopeless.

In seventh grade, Villaseñor attended the Army Naval Academy, as his brother had once done. From the start, he had problems with his teacher, Mr. Moses. Villaseñor realized that Mr. Moses was friends with some of the “bullies” among the cadets, teaching them that “real men” were “tough.” Villaseñor felt enraged and forsaken by God. His fellow cadets bullied him, often hitting him and calling him “sissy girl.” Villaseñor started having “evil thoughts” and became obsessed with vengeance. He searched for Mr. Moses’s telephone number and address and called him at home without speaking. He did the same for one of his former teachers. He plotted to blow up their houses and envisioned the day he would kill Mr. Moses.

During his second year, Villaseñor knew he had to be physically stronger to perform well. A substitute teacher encouraged him. The teacher gave him a higher grade and told him that Moses had a “small man’s mentality” (296). Villaseñor realized that teachers at the academy had “fake titles,” like the nuns at Catholic school who were not qualified to train their students. Villaseñor felt he was becoming a “burro genius” because he remained true to his “Spirit.”

The following summer, Villaseñor developed a group of real friends. During his training at the academy, Villaseñor discovered he was skilled at weightlifting and soon became a member of the varsity team. However, not long after, Mr. Moses began to ridicule him again. Villaseñor walked out of his class, determined to kill him. Villaseñor describes his urge to develop a “premeditated” attack against his teachers, like their own “premeditated” system of making Mexican American students feel inferior and “subhuman.”

Villaseñor went home to get ammunition and heard his parents arguing. His father said that Joseph’s doctor, Dr. Hoskins—who had neglected to properly treat Joseph’s illness—was now dying. He wanted to visit him and forgive him but Villaseñor’s mother was opposed to him doing so. Juan reminded her that forgiveness helps people find peace, but could not persuade his wife. Juan left alone for the doctor’s house.

Villaseñor agreed with his mother but then recalled Joseph’s words about compassion. He told his mother that Joseph would not want her to grieve all her life, but she complained that he could not understand a mother’s grief. Villaseñor said that his mother was dwelling on “suffering” and refusing to go on with her life. At that moment, he realized that his rage also limited his life. He decided to follow his father and witness his act of forgiveness.

Villaseñor went to Dr. Hoskin’s house. His urge for revenge and justice troubled him, but as he watched his father forgive the doctor, he understood that killing was not the solution to his problems. He did, however, still struggle with the idea of forgiving Mr. Moses. When he left the house, he was torn about what to do and asked Joseph for help. A voice inside him urged him to go to the beach. He swam into the sea and saw the dolphins coming toward him again. He made sounds to them, and they responded by chirping. Villaseñor felt he was in a dream. He was free and his rage “dissolved.”

Villaseñor was diagnosed with “visual” and “audio” dyslexia in 1985, when his sons consulted a practitioner for their own reading problems. He took the tests, and the woman told him it was a miracle he had ever learned to read and write. He felt relieved that someone finally understood his struggles. Villaseñor criticizes an educational system that limits children to following “linear thinking,” which he believes impedes them from discovering their own “[g]enius.” He emphasizes that every language—including English, Spanish, and Indigenous languages—has different workings, and that the “English only” policies during his education restricted students’ minds.

Villaseñor mentions that he met Mr. Moses again years later, when the man was old and weak. He recognized Villaseñor but could not remember his abuse toward him. Villaseñor said nothing about it, so they exchanged a few friendly words and said goodbye. He realized he should thank Mr. Moses because his hatred for him motivated him to persist and find the way to his “own Soul.” He later took a walk by the beach and said a prayer for his old teacher.