Bluefish

“‘Get in the truck.’ Grandpa flicked his cigarette butt on the ground. ‘Unless you know someone else who’s going to buy your food and put a roof over your head.’

And because Travis didn’t know anyone like that, he followed Grandpa across the road and got in.”

This passage illustrates the precarious position of children: They usually must obey their guardians because the guardians control their access to food, shelter, and other necessities. Although Travis is often resistant to Grandpa and other authority figures, Grandpa still holds a trump card, and Travis concedes when it’s absolutely necessary.

“Remember how you said there’s only two stories: someone goes on a trip or a stranger comes to town? Remember how I went crazy for days, trying to think of a movie that wasn’t either of those to prove you wrong? And no matter what I came up with, you figured out some way to make it one of those.

There’s a stranger in town, and if you were here asking me ‘How was school?’ and pushing for details every day like you used to, I’d be telling you about him. But you’re not here. It’s two and a half weeks now of you being more not here every day.

[…] It makes me feel better, though, coming here after school. Like maybe you’re on a long vacation and you’ll be home soon. Nothing wrong with pretending, right? Like The Muppet Movie song, remember? Life’s like a movie, write your own ending…

Because I gotta say, I don’t like the way this movie is going lately. We need a better writer.”

This passage describes how books, movies, and stories resemble real life. This is related to the reason why Travis ultimately decides to learn to read: He discovers that stories have the power to share wisdom about life. Velveeta already knows this, and even discusses John Gardner’s theory that there are only two stories. Ironically, Bluefish can be categorized as both types. From Travis’s perspective, the story is about someone (him) going on a journey, but from Velveeta’s perspective, the story is about a stranger (Travis) who comes to town.

“That was the problem with living in town. Someone looked at him wherever he went. Even the houses had eyes, watching every move.

Travis headed up the hill, and as he rounded the curve, the sidewalk ended. The houses became scruffier and farther apart, with shaggy yards and gravel driveways. The paint-peeling yellow box on the right had an empty yard and drive. No old hound standing out front, waving his thin cord of a tail, droopy red-rimmed eyes asking why they’d made him walk the whole twenty miles. Not today. Maybe tomorrow.”

This passage develops the symbolism of eyes, which represent the feeling of being watched, being seen, and being vulnerable. This realization is scary for both Travis and Velveeta at first, but ultimately, they find it healing to be “seen” in the proper way by each other. What they truly fear is being perceived incorrectly, which is what they’re used to.

“Because I saw you give Whistler his shoe back. That’s why. Velveeta’s voice slipped in and interrupted the chewing ache. That was the best thing anybody had ever said to him inside a school building.”

This passage illustrates how Velveeta makes school a better place for Travis. It’s not just teachers who make school a positive or negative experience, but also one’s peers. In turn, Travis makes school a better place for Bradley, who is typically bullied.

“I remember that time you said, ‘Velveeta, you may be full of baloney, but you are a realist.’ I wasn’t sure what you meant. Now I know. Dead is dead is dead. You’re not watching me. You won’t ever read this.

I never talk to anyone else like this. If I don’t write it to you, I’ll stop thinking this way and I’ll turn into whoever I would be if there’d never been a Calvin. I can’t even think about how horrible that would be. I can barely even think about tomorrow with no Calvin. Or tomorrow after that.”

This passage develops the theme of Coping with Loss and Family Trauma. In Calvin’s absence, Velveeta writes to him to process her feelings and to partially fill the void. Also, here, she’s coming to terms with the fact that he’s really dead and that death lasts forever. This may seem bleak, but acceptance of the reality of death is also an important stage in the grieving process that must be transgressed before the griever can move on.

“Grandpa always said a good dog needs work, and the night Travis’s mom went to the hospital and didn’t come back, Rosco found his job. Travis’s dad died in an accident three months later, and then Rosco forgot all about being anyone’s dog. He became Travis’s mom and dad and a couple of brothers thrown in. That’s what Grandpa said.

For almost a month now, Travis had woken up every day with no Rosco. No mom, no dad, no imaginary brothers. Grandpa had given him up from the first day. He didn’t even care. What if Travis disappeared? Oh, well, sometimes kids go away and don’t come back.”

This passage develops the theme of Coping with Loss and Family Trauma. When Travis lost his parents, Rosco helped fill the void, but when Travis loses Rosco, he experiences compounded grief, as if he’s losing his parents all over again and losing Rosco on top of that. Furthermore, although Grandpa isn’t dead, Travis experiences a sense of loss regarding Grandpa because he worries that his grandfather doesn’t truly love him and wouldn’t care if he disappeared.

“Maybe that was the problem. He’d been raised by a dog, so he didn’t know how to act right around people. Grandpa was no help—that was for sure. In the days after Rosco left, he was either gone or holed up in his room. After a few days of that, he told Travis that he’d been going to Alcoholics Anonymous. And that they were moving.

[…]

After that, everything rattled by in an unusual kind of nightmare. Packing up, cleaning the place where they’d always lived. At first Travis refused to help. What if Rosco came back and they were gone? Grandpa finally called Chuck, the landlord, and asked him to give the new tenants their number and keep an eye out for Rosco. He talked at Travis all the time about ‘one day at a time’ and ‘easy does it’ and blahblah. He said over and over that it was high time for things to change.”

This passage develops the theme of Coping with Loss and Family Trauma. Firstly, this passage shows how places can represent lost loved ones; Travis feels a sense of loss when he and Grandpa move away from their old house, which he associates with Rosco and, to some extent, his parents. Secondly, this passage shows how denial prevents closure: While Travis still believes that Rosco “ran away” and isn’t necessarily dead, he holds out hope that Rosco will return, which prevents him from progressing through the stages of grief and from moving on.

“I thought we might actually be friends of some kind.

But what do I know about friends? Everyone loves Velveeta, hahaha. I’m everyone’s entertainment monkey, and they all want me to sit with them at lunch or be in their group. But how often do they invite me to their birthday parties?

Remember my ninth birthday? When you got all those goofy stuffed animals from Goodwill and put party hats on them? That was the best birthday of my whole life.”

This passage complicates The Development of Friendship and Its Role in Personal Growth. Although it may seem like Velveeta is popular at school, other kids only appreciate her on a surface level, as a class clown, and don’t take the time to get to know the true Velveeta or invite her to activities outside of school. On the other hand, Calvin may be an unlikely best friend because he’s much older than Velveeta, but he was her best friend because of his genuine efforts to understand and help her.

“McQueen didn’t take his eyes off Travis’s for a second. His voice went quiet, nighttime quiet.

‘Learn to read, Mr. Roberts. Do you want to learn to read?’

Travis swallowed hard as the heat crawled up his face.

‘I can read.’ His voice didn’t sound like his own.

‘Do you want to learn to read better? Read easily? Without so much struggle?’

McQueen’s voice was a low-running motor, and his eyes were soft behind the glasses.

‘You, Travis Roberts, can learn to read. But only if you, Travis Roberts, decide to learn. If you decide, I’ll teach you, and you will learn.'

A clump of mud rose in Travis’s throat and stuck there. He couldn’t have said anything if he wanted to. His eyes pricked.”

This passage develops The Challenges and Transformative Power of Literacy. McQueen’s choice of words is extremely important, and they end up convincing Travis to make the right decision. Because McQueen seems absolutely sure that Travis can learn as long as he wants to, Travis takes the plunge, whereas before, other teachers’ apparent doubt in Travis’s abilities and dedication discouraged him from wanting to learn.

“At first, I was a little scared to be in here because I thought you might be ghosting around, but you’re definitely not. I’ve looked everywhere, even under the bed.

There’s nothing in here but empty.”

This passage develops the theme of Coping with Loss and Family Trauma. Velveeta realizes Calvin is truly dead and won’t appear to her anymore, not even as a ghost. Her description of the trailer as “empty” mirrors the feeling of grief she’s currently experiencing, where the absence of Calvin is heavier and more important than the presence of actual objects that exist in his trailer.

“Every time I put on a scarf and walk to the end of Pauly Road, I turn into Velveeta, and she might not be much, but she’s better than Vida Wojciehowski. And you know what? You brought this Velveeta version to life. Without you, I’d have a flask of bourbon in my school locker, and I’d be selling drugs and jacking cars and mugging little old ladies and other things I don’t even want to think about.”

This quote illustrates how Velveeta’s nickname is symbolic of her self-concept, through which she differentiates herself from her family and where she comes from. She credits Calvin with transforming her into this preferred version of herself, and she starts to worry that with Calvin gone, she’ll become a worse version.

“Long lines of words tromped across the pages like columns of ants. McQueen found the swamp in those words, and he took Travis there with him. Not just into the nighttime snowstorm, but into the fox itself, moving through the winter woods and hearing and smelling that mysterious animal world. The lines of ink on the page were a secret code. For the first time, Travis wanted to crack it. More than anything.”

This passage develops The Challenges and Transformative Power of Literacy. The metaphor of words moving across the page like ants describes the jumbled mess that Travis sees when he looks at blocks of text. However, McQueen shows Travis what’s really inside the words: a story that has the power to transport him to another world to illuminate his own. This story provides Travis with the motivation he needs to learn to read.

“The thing is, what IS she going to do when I leave? I mean, I’m leaving someday, right? I don’t have to live in this trailer court forever, do I? And what happens when she gets sick—not hung over, but really sick? Buttface Jimmy only comes over when he needs something, not when she needs something.

Then I look at Bradley, with his nice new clothes and shiny white Nikes and green and gold braces on his teeth. He is so well taken care of—who cares if he’s the biggest dork in America? I bet his parents already have him enrolled in some fancy college. I bet they check his homework every night. I bet they tuck him into bed. I bet his mommy sings him lullabies.”

This passage complicates the theme of Coping with Loss and Family Trauma. Although Velveeta’s mother has been neglectful and even abusive, Velveeta still feels guilt at the prospect of abandoning her because she knows she won’t be okay. Also, when comparing herself to Bradley, Velveeta at first feels deeply envious because Bradley enjoys a loving family, has all his basic needs met, and even has some of his wants (as opposed to needs) met. However, as Velveeta learns later, trauma is complex, and just because Bradley has loving, financially healthy parents does not mean that his life is perfect or easy.

“The day before, walking home on a cloud of word happiness, he’d actually hoped Grandpa would ask if he’d learned anything at school that day. He wanted to say YES and mean it. But Grandpa walked in the door, tossed Travis a doughnut, and spent the evening sucking down O’Doul’s and watching TV. Didn’t ask anything. He didn’t even go to his AA meeting. Hadn’t gone all week, in fact, or said one word to Travis since poking him Thursday night. Looked like he was back to not liking chatterboxes.”

This quote develops The Challenges and Transformative Power of Literacy because, for once, Travis wants to tell Grandpa that he learned something new because he’s made progress with reading. This quote also complicates Coping with Loss and Family Trauma because, although Grandpa’s not dead, Travis still feels loss due to Grandpa’s withdrawal from him and refusal to speak to him.

“Velveeta read the first line, bubbling the words out like liquid candy, easy easy. She handed the book to him. He looked at that first line and didn’t see any words. Just a stream of black marks. He closed the book.

‘Travis, come on. You didn’t even try.’

Try. That word torched fire-hot. He took the book and shoved it into his backpack.”

This passage develops The Challenges and Transformative Power of Literacy. The metaphor of “a stream of black marks” emphasizes how confusing blocks of text look to Travis. Also, Velveeta’s repetition of the word “try” from earlier in the novel irks Travis because this implies that he’s not trying, when really, he feels like he’s been trying for years, but just needs different methods than other kids.

“I told her that Calvin being dead is like a long-fingered claw that keeps scratching at my heart. She said she knows that claw. She said grief is a rough ride but the only way through it is through it. Then she told me to take a nap.”

This quote develops the theme of Coping with Loss and Family Trauma. The metaphor of a “claw that keeps scratching at my heart” emphasizes the pain of grief as well as its persistence over time. Connie advises Velveeta that grief cannot be avoided and must be felt in order for the griever to move on.

“All I can think about is Calvin dying. Did he sit up when Death came, like Liesel did? Did he look Death in the eye? Was he sad about leaving? Does he miss me? Because I miss him so much I can’t stand it. It’s like my heart is getting pulverized with a sharp-pointed jackhammer, every second and all the time.”

This quote develops the theme of Coping with Loss and Family Trauma. Velveeta metaphorically describes grief as a jackhammer that constantly pulverizes her heart. This emphasizes both the extreme pain of grief as well as its longevity. The metaphor also makes it seem like grief is destructive, although this is not really the case, because Velveeta’s heart has not been destroyed despite the persistent efforts of the “jackhammer.”

“He’d gone there after school and met Bradley’s mom. She was nice. So was his dad. But what about Velveeta? He didn’t know anything about her outside of school, not one single thing, except that she watched a lot of movies, she worked at the library, and she did her own laundry. If she was sick, who took care of her? Someone like Grandpa? Or someone like Bradley’s parents? Or nobody at all? Did she have brothers and sisters? A dog?”

This quote illustrates the themes of Coping with Loss and Family Trauma and The Development of Friendship and Its Role in Personal Growth. Travis is happy to learn that Bradley has a good family situation, but he worries that Velveeta’s might not be as happy. He worries because he cares about her well-being as a friend.

“When he said I’d been wearing the same scarf every day, I felt like he was stabbing me in the guts, not in a mean way but like he could see inside of me whether I told him anything or not.

Then he said that thing about wanting to help me. How I wouldn’t even let him pull my wagon.

I thought my heart was going to fall out of my chest—that’s how bad it hurt.

Why did that hurt? It doesn’t make any sense.”

This quote complicates The Development of Friendship and Its Role in Personal Growth. Velveeta is afraid of being vulnerable, and when Travis starts to truly “see” her, she finds it painful. Yet it’s an important step in the development of their friendship, which is ultimately healing. This parallels the process of grief, which is painful but can also be healing and instructive.

“I’ve been keeping that collar in my room to remind me why I shouldn’t drink. But I don’t need it now. I look at you and I can remember pretty good.”

This quote develops the theme of Coping with Loss and Family Trauma. For years, Grandpa has struggled with alcoholism, and he and Travis haven’t had the best relationship. However, Grandpa quits drinking shortly after Rosco dies and changes his attitude toward Travis. In turn, Travis changes his attitude toward Grandpa as well. This illustrates how it’s never too late to make positive changes concerning family.

“‘I know it’s not the same, but our dog, Rosco, died on August ninth. I mean, he’s not a person or anything, but he was…’

What was Rosco? Mother father and a couple of brothers? Best friend? All that and more.”

This quote complicates the notion of family and elaborates on the theme of Coping with Loss and Family Trauma. Although Rosco was a dog, he filled the role of mother, father, and sibling for Travis, so the loss of Rosco feels like losing his parents all over again. Similarly, Calvin was not technically a member of Velveeta’s biological family, but she grieves him as if he were, because of how important he was.

“The dumb bluefish stared at Travis with that stupid blank idiot smile.

‘But look!’ said Velveeta. ‘That bluefish is the moolio fish. He’s all cazh, kicking back on a wave while One and Two and Red are swimming like a herd of water sheep.’

‘I want to be a bluefish,’ said Bradley.

‘You can’t,’ said Travis. ‘You’re too smart.’

‘No, no.’ Velveeta took the book from Bradley and pointed at the picture. ‘Look at how the bluefish will not swim when the others swim. The bluefish is at the anti-dance.’

She leaned against the shelf in the same pose as the bluefish leaning on the wave, hand on hip, smiling the big close-lipped smile. Only it didn’t look stupid on her—it looked like she was up to something.”

This quote develops the shifting symbolism of the bluefish and elaborates on The Development of Friendship and Its Role in Personal Growth. Velveeta redefines the bluefish. To her, it doesn’t stand for stupidity, but rather, it stands for creativity, diversity, and nonconformity. These attributes represent Travis much better than stupidity does. With his friends’ encouragement, Travis redefines his own self-concept and embraces his power as a student who is not stupid but may be neurodivergent.

“‘I’ve been thinking about Rosco’s rabies tag. Does carrying it with you make you feel like Rosco is less dead?’

‘Not really…If anything, it makes him feel more dead because if he were alive, then he’d be wearing it, not me.’

[…]

‘But carrying it with me…It doesn’t make him not dead, but it makes him not as much gone, you know? Like sometimes when I rub it, I can sort of smell him.’

[…]

‘So it’s not like you’re someone who never had a Rosco, right? So even though Calvin’s dead, it’s not like I’m someone who never had a Calvin. Because if there’d been no Calvin, there’d be no scarf.’

[…]

‘Even with all the scarves gone but this one, I can’t turn into a no-Calvin Velveeta. Like you can never be a no-Rosco Travis.’”

This passage develops the theme of Coping with Loss and Family Trauma because Velveeta and Travis find an important silver lining to their grief. The deaths of their loved ones do not negate the time they spent together or the influence those loved ones had on them. Rather, grief is a reminder of the love and positivity they shared.