65 pages • 2 hours read
Kennedy RyanBefore I Let Go
Fiction | Novel | Adult | Published in 2022A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Symbols & Motifs
Jewelry and Shoes
Josiah and Yasmen each take particular care with their appearance and in choosing tangible gifts for one another. Yasmen reflects on adjusting to the larger amount of closet space since the divorce and her secret talisman: Josiah’s prized Jordan sneakers. Yasmen briefly puts on the shoes, taking in her reflection, “wearing the shoes of the man she sent away. Portrait of a fool” (1354). Ryan thus telegraphs early on that while Yasmen may have asked for the divorce, she has not severed (or attempted to sever) her attachment to Josiah. At their Thanksgiving dinner, Josiah takes in Yasmen’s earrings and remembers that for the same birthday he had given her a necklace with a wheel charm to reflect their commitment to remain together “till the wheels fell off” (2845).
Later, the reader learns Yasmen is wearing the necklace with the charm and her original wedding ring on New Year’s Eve. After she assumes Josiah is back with Vashti, she hurls the necklace into Skyland’s fountain in hopes that discarding it will force her to fully accept her divorce and change her life. She soon changes her mind and fishes the necklace out of the fountain with help from Hendrix and Soledad. She says, “I know I don’t need wishes as long as I have hope” (4062). Yasmen’s reclaiming the necklace foreshadows her coming reconciliation with Josiah and her new resolve to be honest about her feelings. Yasmen shows Josiah his hidden shoes to assure him of her sincere desire to resume their partnership, but he doubts her motives until after his session with Dr. Musa. Josiah needs more than words and symbols to prove Yasmen’s commitment. By the Epilogue, Yasmen wears both as the two passionately kiss and dance. Josiah presents Yasmen with a new engagement ring inscribed with the word “wheel” (5271). Her acceptance of both the ring and the proposal assures the reader of the couple’s happy ending.
Food and Meals
Yasmen and Josiah own a restaurant together, and their mutual love of food remains part of their family culture and recovery process over the course of the novel. Yasmen notes with warmth that both her children eat anchovies on pizza because their beloved great-aunt Byrd did. Yasmen spends much of the text attempting to perfect Byrd’s recipes; cooking is a departure for her, as Josiah was the household’s cook. Without knowing Yasmen followed Aunt Byrd’s recipe, Josiah tastes Yasmen’s lasagna and realizes “it’s even good cold,” a subtle clue to the reader that food is still a part of his bond with Yasmen; she has used learning to cook as a way to grow (2441). At Thanksgiving, Josiah assumes Vashti or Carole made the stuffing, which tastes just like Byrd’s, and he is overcome with emotion when Yasmen reveals that some of Byrd’s recipes have survived, and she has prepared them. He then realizes that it is unfair to Vashti to stay in a relationship with her when he is still drawn to Yasmen.
On their trip to Charlotte, Josiah and Yasmen taste Merry and Ken’s food as part of their tour, and they share aspects of their history with the other couple. They share food with one another just as they did during their marriage, and they continue the practice with their room-service meal later that evening. They also share whiskey, leading to the confidences and intimacy that result in their grieving Henry together and committing to one last night of passion. Yasmen also prepares Byrd’s famous pound cake for Deja’s birthday, a day that precipitates their decision to embark on a new relationship. Food leads to other, more painful revelations, as Josiah admits to Dr. Musa that Byrd was making the same poundcake the day she died. This memory, and his emotional catharsis, pushes him to accept Yasmen’s offer of reconciliation. Byrd’s food thus function as a symbol of her love and helps remind Josiah and Yasmen of their deepest values, including their love for each other.
Songs and Music
Several characters in the novel express a love of music, creating opportunities for memories, communal bonds, and emotional realizations. At the Skyland food truck event, Hendrix mentions her favorite R&B song. When the DJ plays it, Hendrix pulls Deja into a dance, with the others dancing too. Yasmen is overcome with the lightness and freedom of the experience, and she decides “it feels for a moment like worship” (734), especially compared to her past struggles. She later realizes Josiah requested the song and thanks him in ASL, which they learned together in Deja’s infancy. This small exchange reflects their lingering awareness of one another and Josiah’s interest in Yasmen’s well-being and joy even as he remains angry with her. When Josiah returns from a business trip to Charlotte, he finds Yasmen dancing to the same song; the joy she found then remains with her in their renewed relationship.
Music permeates Yasmen’s memories when Josiah reminds her of their first Thanksgiving together. This was a time of relative poverty because they had little money for food or heat in their apartment. But the memories are fond and warm, in part because they listened to Al Green’s classic anthem “Let’s Stay Together.” Yasmen finds the memory difficult since the divorce, but she also cannot deny her lingering feelings. Josiah plays the same song for her in the Epilogue and pulls her into a dance. Now, the song is the “anthem of her greatest triumph,” in her commitment to rebuild her relationship (5260). Josiah’s song choice and decision to propose soon after shows that he, too, appreciates the power of music to express emotional bonds.
