Barakah Beats

“My parents and grandparents don’t often see eye to eye, and there’ve been a lot of fights since I was little about this ‘bad’ choice or that ‘wrong’ decision. Nano and Nana always want the opposite of what Mama and Baba want.”

Nimra’s parents and grandparents’ fighting changes the mood of Nimra’s Hifz celebration. The day is meant to honor Nimra’s recent accomplishment, but her family’s inability to get along keeps Nimra from feeling special and safe. Her parents and grandparents’ disagreements are a fixture in Nimra’s home life and often disrupts her sense of security. Nimra’s matter-of-fact description of these dynamics illustrates how she is trying to normalize and adjust to her parents and grandparents’ constant disagreements.

“I wish I had my sketch pad and pencil right now. I’d find some peace and quiet and forget all about them fighting.”

Throughout her childhood, Nimra is reliant upon drawing for a sense of peace. Whenever she feels upset, confused, or alone, she turns to her sketchbooks for comfort. Therefore, when her family members start bickering about her future goals and her parents’ past choices at Nimra’s party, Nimra longs to draw, introducing the theme of Music and Art as Forms of Expression. Her artwork gives her a place to express her feelings, process her confusion, and escape familial turmoil.

“They’ve taught me my whole life that Islam doesn’t allow musical instruments. Of course, Muslims around the world have different interpretations. It’s a huge controversy.”

Nimra grows up in a Pakistani Muslim home, which influences her sense of self. Therefore, Nimra feels uncomfortable when Jenna questions Mama and Baba’s choice to omit music from Nimra’s party. She wants her best friend to understand her Cultural and Religious Identity but has yet to form her own interpretations of Islamic principles and Qur’an teachings. These lines foreshadow the questions Nimra will ask about art, faith, and morality once she joins Barakah Beats and makes new Muslim friends.

“[Mama] and Baba both work from home all day. They’re not the ones suddenly being thrown into the seventh grade after years in Islamic school. I’m beginning to think this whole public-school thing is the wrong move because, man, this is so much stress.”

Nimra’s foray into public school causes her to feel anxious, alone, and rejected. She initially wants to go to Farmwell because she’ll get to see Jenna every day; however, she soon becomes overwhelmed by the idea of being in a new place around new people. Guided Light offered her familiarity, belonging, and safety. Before she even starts at Farmwell, she worries that the space won’t accept her. Her emotions foreshadow her coming internal conflicts.

“‘Just be yourself.’ This is a new beginning for you. A clean slate. You can do anything if you put your mind to it.”

Mama and Baba are Nimra’s archetypal guides throughout the novel. Whenever Nimra feels worried or afraid, her parents offer Nimra encouragement and wisdom. On her first day at Farmwell, Baba helps her to remember who she is. Nimra doesn’t have to vocalize her feelings for him to sense her anxieties. His words guide her throughout her time at Farmwell and help her to understand herself better.

“‘I meant you forgot to take it off.’ Her smile droops. ‘Wait. Are you going to school with it on?’”

Jenna’s judgment of Nimra’s hijab illustrates her inability to understand Nimra. In the past, Nimra and Jenna spent their time together one-on-one. Therefore, Nimra has never seen Jenna disapprove of her faith or culture and isn’t ready to identify her behavior as discrimination. However, the way Jenna responds to Nimra’s hijab on her first day at Farmwell foreshadows Jenna’s prejudicial behavior in the next chapters.

“Hi. You. Must. Be. Jenna’s. Neighbor. I’m. Julie. It’s. Nice. To. Meet. You.”

The way that Julie addresses Nimra in homeroom makes Nimra feel different, alone, and misunderstood. Julie speaks in a halting, syncopated manner because she guesses that Nimra doesn’t speak English. She judges Nimra based on her appearance and makes assumptions about her identity that hurt Nimra’s feelings and make her feel like an outsider. Julie isn’t the only person to discriminate against Nimra; however, Julie’s behavior represents the adversity Nimra will face throughout her time at Farmwell.

“I don’t get it. If I saw someone I thought was new, I would try and help them right away.”

The Farmwell setting is a symbol of adversity, discomfort, and unfamiliarity. On Nimra’s first day at Farmwell, she feels powerless and alone. The setting makes her feel invisible because nobody pays attention to her or shows her grace. This surprises Nimra because she’s a gentle, kind, and empathetic person at heart. Her faith guides her character and her interactions with others.

“I begin reading out loud at the top of my lungs, scrunching up my eyes and letting my voice rise above the distracting music until I’m singing the way I always do when I’m reading the Qur’an out loud. I let the Arabic words take me far away, to another place, another country, another world.”

Praying helps Nimra to find peace amidst her difficult first day at Farmwell. She feels like an outsider, but the familiar act of praying reminds her of who she is. She’s in a public space but doesn’t try to quiet her prayers. Her decision to sing aloud instead of reciting the verses in her head is a narrative device that draws the attention of Barakah Beats’s attention. This scene leads Waleed, Balil, and Matthew to introduce themselves to Nimra and invite her into their band.

“I blink. Barakah means ‘divine blessing’ in Arabic. Oh. They’re a Muslim boy band. That’s…interesting.”

Barakah Beats changes how Nimra understands both music and faith. When Jenna first tells her that Waleed, Balil, and Matthew are in a band, Nimra makes assumptions about the kind of music they must play. It isn’t until she learns the name of their band that she understands the boys are Muslim, like her. This scene inspires Nimra’s connection with Waleed, Balil, and Matthew. She feels drawn to them because of their shared Cultural and Religious Identity.

“Me, join a band? Actively helping to create music? That crosses my boundaries. I’ve never gone against what I believe in before.”

Joining Barakah Beats challenges Nimra to define her Cultural and Religious Identity. Before Farmwell, Nimra relies upon Mama, Baba, Guided Light, and Sister Sadia to understand what she believes, and why. However, once Waleed, Balil, and Matthew invite her into their band, Nimra must question her own Islamic interpretations. This passage introduces this internal conflict for Nimra for the first time in her adolescence.

“Her comment sounded like it was supposed to be reassuring, but I got the sense that she was trying to brush the whole ignoring-me thing off like it was nothing. Now I’m annoyed that she won’t take my feelings seriously.”

Nimra’s first day at Farmwell changes her friendship with Jenna. Although Jenna tries to address their misunderstandings after school, Nimra still feels unheard, unseen, and misunderstood. Jenna places the blame on Nimra instead of admitting that she hurt and disappointed Nimra, too. As a result, Nimra begins to wonder if Jenna is as true of a friend as she once thought.

“If Mama and Nano are always arguing about Mama’s choices, then could me joining Barakah Beats and going against Mama and Baba’s beliefs do the same thing to us? Would they be so disappointed and angry with me that the three of us would turn into Mama and Nano 2.0?”

The more fights Nimra witnesses between her parents and grandparents, the more she worries about her relationship with Mama and Baba. Nimra has never had the same cultural and religious disagreements with her parents as they have had with her grandparents. However, starting public school and joining Barakah Beats changes how Nimra relates to her family. These concerns increasingly weigh on Nimra throughout the chapters that follow.

“She saw me. I know she did, but she’s ignoring me. Like I’m nothing. A nobody.”

Nimra is so hurt by Jenna’s cruelty that she goes against her own beliefs to win her back. When Jenna ignores Nimra in the hallway, Nimra knows that Jenna isn’t the person she thought she was. However, Nimra decides to join the band to prove herself to Jenna instead of making peace with Jenna’s true character. Jenna’s unkindness, therefore, is a catalyst for the narrative’s primary conflict.

“Wanna walk with us? You’re part of the group now. We want to get to know you.”

By joining Barakah Beats, Nimra finds a sense of belonging. After leaving the safety of Guided Light, Nimra feels rejected and alone. However, Waleed, Balil, Matthew, and Khadijah accept Nimra without question. They show interest in who she is and pay attention to her like she matters. The band members’ response to Nimra contrasts sharply with Jenna’s behavior toward Nimra. As a result, Nimra starts to rethink what it means to be a friend.

“Besides not letting you take it in school, haven’t we always encouraged your art? So much, in fact, that you’re hung up on this one thing we didn’t let you do. You can’t have everything in life.”

Nimra believes that Mama and Baba’s refusal to let her take art classes is a sign that they don’t support her creative passion. Nimra repeatedly begs her parents to let her drop Spanish and take art instead. Each time, Mama and Baba insist that their plans for her life are more important. Nimra’s conflicts with her parents over art class echo Mama and Baba’s conflicts with Nana and Nano. Mama and Baba want Nimra to understand their point of view, but Nimra is fiercely defensive of her art, as it’s an expression of her true identity.

“Me? Sing to music? In front of hundreds of people? How am I supposed to explain that to Mama and Baba? No. Forget my parents. This doesn’t sit right with me.”

The upcoming ADAMS talent show fundraiser amplifies the narrative conflict. Before Waleed tells the band members about the event, Nimra thinks that she can break away from Barakah Beats without upsetting her parents or losing her new friends. The talent show fundraiser changes the narrative stakes. Nimra fears that if she abandons the band before the event, she’ll hurt them and lose their friendships. If she participates in the fundraiser, however, she’ll be betraying her parents and herself. Therefore, the talent show challenges Nimra’s Cultural and Religious Identity.

“Does one wrong thing cancel out another good thing? Our niyyah—intentions—are what matter, and they aren’t bad.”

Nimra begins to question her beliefs when she and the band start practicing for the talent show. Nimra doesn’t feel comfortable singing in public. However, she also wonders if singing publicly for a good cause might be different. The fundraiser asks her to see music as an expression of faith.

“Lying is turning me into a hot mess. That’s the only explanation. The shame that never leaves the back of my mind every time I get together with Barakah Beats is doing this. Sketching has never done this to me before. With art. I don’t have to think about whether what I’m doing is right or wrong.”

Nimra’s primary challenge is to stay true to herself. However, the more lies she tells her family and friends, the less certain she is of who she is. Her lies are inspired by her desire to protect her loved ones. However, these same lies make her feel bad about herself. As a result, she questions her definition of morality and the means she is using to express herself. Her internal debate in this scene furthers the novel’s explorations of Cultural and Religious Identity and Music and Art as Forms of Expression.

“When I’m with the guys and Khadijah, I feel like I can let go of everything and just be a normal kid.”

Nimra’s relationships with Waleed, Balil, Matthew, and Khadijah change her definition of friendship. Before joining Barakah Beats, Nimra defined friendship by her relationship with Jenna. However, through her bandmates, she learns that friendship doesn’t have to compromise her identity. With her new friends, she can be herself; she can express her feelings and beliefs without fear of judgment or rejection. Friendship, she’s learning in this passage, is synonymous with belonging.

“The urge to break down is so strong, but I don’t deserve to cry. I hurt them, not the other way around.”

Nimra confesses the truth to her bandmates because she doesn’t want to deceive them or herself any longer. Although telling the truth is painful, Nimra knows that she has caused more pain than she feels. She denies herself the right to cry in this pivotal scene because she wants to own her mistakes and apologize for them. By facing her friends, she is both risking their relationships and illustrating her capacity for humility and honesty.

“You barely paid attention to me for weeks, not since you realized I was going to wear my hijab to school.”

Nimra’s decision to confront Jenna about her cruel and discriminatory behavior illustrates her character’s growth. Jenna has mistreated Nimra throughout the novel, but Nimra hasn’t dared to talk to Jenna about it. When she finally does express her feelings to her friend, she is demonstrating her growth as a character. Nimra is trying to define her cultural, religious, and artistic identities in this scene while simultaneously establishing important boundaries in her relationship with her former best friend.

“‘What do you think you should do to fix it?’ Baba says, ‘What do you want to do? Be honest. We’re on your side, Nimmy. Never forget that.’”

Nimra finds peace, acceptance, and guidance from Mama and Baba when she finally tells them the truth about her recent challenges. Nimra has kept secrets from Mama and Baba throughout the novel because she has feared their anger and rejection. However, Nimra’s parents act as archetypal guides for Nimra when they come to her for help. Baba doesn’t give Nimra an easy answer in this scene. Instead, he encourages Nimra to rely upon her heart and mind as she looks for answers.